-早 -早
- Morning. - Good morning.
誰想吃上法學院第一天的早餐
Who's ready for some first day of law school breakfast?
你早起為我做飯嗎
You got up early to cook for me?
如果法官同意
If it pleases the court,
我想將煎餅作為證據呈上
I'd like to introduce these pancakes into evidence.
那我可要好好篡改一下
And I will happily tamper with it.
我還給你打包了一些零食
I also packed you some snacks.
健康的和你會吃的
A healthy one and one you'll actually eat.
你肯定是別人家的好媽媽
Aw, you would've made someone a great mom.
我就當沒聽見
I'm gonna let that slide
因為我不敢相信這一天終於...
because I can't believe this day is finally...
我知道 我好自豪
I know! I'm so proud of me.
對 我正要說呢
Oh, yeah, boy, that's what I was about to say.
我寫了一些東西
I wrote something.
克麗絲蒂 四十年前
"Christy, 40 years ago... "
通常我不是很看好自己
It's just that normally I am not a big fan of me,
但今天起床 我覺得自己是個奇蹟
but today I woke up and I was like, "I am a freakin' miracle."
看 我在裡面也用了"奇蹟"這詞
Hey, look it, "Miracle" Is the exact word I use in my thing.
克麗絲蒂 四十年前
"Christy, 40 years ago... "
我戒癮以後 我說
When I got sober, I said,
"我要上法學院" 現在成真了
"I am gonna go to law school," And here I am,
我真要上法學院了
actually going to law school.
我喝酒時說"我想要杯思樂冰"
When I was drinking, I'd say, "Oh, I want to get a Slurpee,"
都辦不到
and I couldn't make it happen.
我更委婉地寫到了你的糟糕過往
Well, my thing touches on your bad days in a more elegant way,
但你舉的例子也很好
but your example's good, too.
這不是很瘋狂嗎
I mean, isn't it crazy?
我以前是逃避法律 現在我是追求法律
I used to run from the law and now I'm running towards it.
這比喻真好 真希望我也能想到
Wow, that's good, I wish I'd thought of that.
克麗絲蒂 四十年前
"Christy, 40 years ago... "
最棒的是 班裡沒有一個人知道
The best part is, no one in any of my classes
我以前是什麼樣
will know what I used to be like.
他們只會看到一個超級聰明的未來律師
They will just see a super smart future lawyer
因為我改變了 而且我穿著西裝
because I've changed and I'm also wearing a blazer.
你看起來確實很聰明
Yeah. You do look smart.
我得走了
Oh, I got to go.
你能搞定的 寶貝
You got this, baby.
這是我人生第一次覺得自己能搞定
For the first time in my life, I really think I do.
該死
Damn it.
看起來我多了幾分鐘 讀你寫的東西吧
Looks like I got a couple minutes. Tell me your thing.
克麗絲蒂 四十年前 當我張開腿
"Christy, 40 years ago, when I spread my legs
把你射向世界時...
and launched you into the world... "
極品老媽 第六季第一集
我見到了一個很帥的皮膚科醫生
So, I met this really cute dermatologist,
在我看皮膚科醫生時
when I was at the dermatologist,
你們絕對猜不到發生了什麼
and you'll never guess what happened.
-他約你出去了 -他約我出去了
- He asked you out. - He asked me out.
你們準備好為我驕傲吧 因為我告訴他
Now y'all get ready to be proud of me 'cause I told him,
"我戒癮四個月了 不滿一年我不會約會"
"I'm four months' sober and I can't date till I have a year."
然後晚些時候 他發簡訊給我說
Then later he texted me and said,
"還剩233天" 之後一天 "232天"
"233 days to go." The day after that, "232."
之後一天
And the day after that,
-"231天" -快說重點
- "231." - Wrap it up.
總之 看來我要嫁給皮膚科醫生了
Anyway, looks like I'm gonna marry a dermatologist,
這和嫁給吸血鬼一樣好
go which is as good as marrying a vampire.
你永遠不會變老 謝謝
You never get old. Thanks.
-邦妮 酒癮者 -你好 邦妮
- Bonnie, alcoholic. - Hi, Bonnie.
我這周末開始策劃婚禮了
I started planning my wedding this weekend.
起初我以為這會是折磨
At first I thought it was gonna be torture,
然後我意識到了
and then it hit me...
這一天我是主角 由我自導自演
This is a day all about me, planned by me, starring me.
不是每天都這樣嗎
Isn't that every day?
也許我一直害怕婚禮是因為在內心深處
Maybe I always hated weddings because, deep down,
我害怕沒有人會那麼愛我
I was afraid no one would ever...
以至於想和我結婚
love me enough to want to marry me.
現在我感覺很糟
Now I feel bad.
但戒癮讓我變成了
But sobriety changed me into someone
一個可以結婚的人
who's totally marry-able.
我唯一的遺憾是等到了49歲才戒
My only regret is waiting till I was 49 to do it.
還有人想說嗎
Would anyone else like to go?
我想說 克麗絲蒂 酒癮者
I would. Christy, alcoholic.
你好 克麗絲蒂
Hi, Christy.
今天是我第一天上法學院
So, today was my first day of law school.
算是我一生的夢想實現了
Which is, uh, kind of the culmination of a lifelong dream.
你們猜怎麼著
And guess what.
太可怕了
It was terrifying.
就像"猶他州沒有酒了"一樣可怕
Like "Running out of booze in Utah" Terrifying.
在今早開始前
Before we begin this morning,
我想讓你們看看左邊
I would like you all to look to your left,
看看右邊
look to your right.
到了年底
By the end of the year,
你們中一人將離開
one of you will not be here.
等等 怎麼回事
Wait-wait, what's happening here?
我知道法學院會很緊張
I knew law school was gonna be intense.
我只是以為會慢慢來
I just kind of thought we would ease into it.
懂吧 先在教室裡轉轉
You know, go around the room
談談我們為什麼要當律師
and talk about why we want to be lawyers.
不 一開始就是"告訴我這個案子的相關性"
No, it was, "Tell me the relevance of this case,"
或者"分析那個決定的含義"
and "Analyze the implications of that decision."
這很不公平
And it's totally unfair
其他孩子不用兼顧家庭作業
that the other kids don't have to juggle homework,
全職工作 匿名戒癮會
a full-time job, AA,
匿名戒賭會 一個看完《地產兄弟》
Gamblers Anonymous, and a mom who watches
必須要聊劇情的媽媽
Property Brothers and then has to talk about it.
是的 我稱自己為孩子
And, yeah, I called myself a kid.
既然她是49歲 那我也是個孩子
If she gets to be 49, then I get to be a kid.
亞當 我們得走了 你為什么喝啤酒
Adam, we got to go. Why are you drinking a beer?
因為啤酒很好喝
Because beer is awesome?
你不知道我們要去哪嗎
You have no idea where we're going.
我知道 我們要去...
I do so. We're going to the, um...
-湖畔露臺酒店 -湖畔露臺酒店
- The Lakeside Terrace... - Lakeside Terrace!
對 看吧 我知道
Right. See, I know.
-因為... -因為我們都同意的那個理由
- Because... ? - Because of the reason we agreed on.
拜託 這些都給你說過
Come on, I told you all this stuff.
-那是可能的婚宴場地 -場地 對
- It's a possible wedding venue... - Venue! Venue, yeah.
-我知道 -天啊
- I know. - Oh, my God.
我給你說的事你從來不記
You never remember anything I tell you,
但你清楚地記得四年前
and yet you can recall every friggin' detail
你看過的籃球賽的每一個細節
about a basketball game you saw four years ago.
勇士隊奪得了第一個冠軍
When the Warriors won their first championship
他們在第六場戰勝了騎士隊 太精彩了
and they beat the Cavaliers in six, it was epic.
兩場比賽打到了加時
Two games went to OT.
我懂
Yeah, I get it.
你只記得對自己重要的事
You only remember what's important to you.
經典的老男人痴呆症
Classic case of Manzheimer's.
結婚對我來說很重要
Look, getting married is important to me,
但你知道 在哪裡結
but, you know, where we do it...
穿什麼 鴿子的顏色 我不在乎
what we're wearing, the color of the pigeons, isn't.
鴿子
Pigeons?
我只知道不管發生什麼
All I know is that it's gonna be
那都將是我人生中最棒的一天
the best day of my life no matter what.
我討厭你在我生你氣時說好聽的話
I hate it when you say nice things when I'm mad at you.
聽著 咱倆以後也別吵了
Look, let's save ourselves a million arguments.
你負責策劃婚禮 我一定到場
You plan the wedding, and I'll show up.
真的嗎
Really?
當然了 你怎麼開心怎麼來
Absolutely. Do whatever makes you happy.
你發誓你不會抱怨
You swear you won't complain
-我選的東西嗎 -我發誓
- about the things I choose? - I swear.
-如果我要墨西哥樂隊呢 -太贊了
- What if I want a mariachi band? - I say olé.
如果我要巧克力噴泉呢
What about a chocolate fountain?
我把頭都栽進去
更多內容請百度搜索：可小果