What you guys don't understand is,
你們男生不懂的是
for us, kissing is as important as any part of it.
接吻對女生的重要性
Yeah, right!...
是嘛
Y'serious?
當真嗎
Oh, yeah!
當然
Everything you need to know is in that first kiss.
初吻可以讓人明白一切
Absolutely.
沒錯
Yeah, I think for us,
對我們而言
kissing is pretty much like an opening act, you know?
接吻就像是暖場序幕
I mean it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through
就像平克·弗洛伊德[搖滾樂隊]出場前
before Pink Floyd comes out.
你得耐著性子先看完暖場搞笑秀
Yeah, and-and it's not that
對 而且 我們並非
we don't like the comedian, it's that-that...
討厭搞笑表演 而是因為
that's not why we bought the ticket.
只是我們買票又不是為了看搞笑秀
The problem is, though, after the concert's over,
問題在於演唱會結束後
no matter how great the show was,
不論表演有多精採
you girls are always looking for the comedian again, you know?
你們女生總還想再重溫暖場搞笑秀
I mean, we're in the car, we're fighting traffic...basically
我們在車中奮力殺出車陣
just trying to stay awake.
只是拼命讓自己別睡著
Yeah, well, word of advice:Bring back the comedian.
是哦 給你個建議 讓搞笑秀返場
Otherwise next time you're gonna find yourself
否則下次你們只能坐在家裡
sitting at home, listening to that album alone.
獨自一人聽唱片
...Are we still talking about sex?
我們現在還在談論性嗎
No, it's good, it is good, it's just that- Mm-
不 挺好的 只是
doesn't she seem a little angry?
她看起來是不是有點生氣啊
Well, she has issues.
那是因為她有問題了
Does she?
真的嗎
He's out banging other women over the head with a club,
她男人在外頭拿著大棒敲昏別的女人
while she sits at home trying to
而她卻得在家
get the mastodon smell out of the carpet!
努力清除地毯上乳齒象的臭味
Marsha, these are cave people.
瑪莎 他們是原始人
Okay? They have issues like
明白嗎 他們關心的問題應該是
'Gee, that glacier's getting kind of close.'
"嘿 冰川時代離我們越來越近了"
- See? - Speaking of issues, isn't that your ex-wife?
-懂嗎 -談到問題 那不是你前妻嗎
Me? No.
我 不是
Yes, it is. Carol! Hi!
正是 卡羅爾 你好
Okay.Yes.Yes,it is.
好吧 是的
How about I'll catch up with you in the Ice Age?
咱們到冰河世紀那邊見好嗎
You look great. I, uh...
你的氣色好極了 我
I hate that.
雖然我很不喜歡
Sorry. thanks.You look good too.
抱歉 謝了 你看起來也不錯
Ah, well, in here, anyone who...stands erect...
在這兒任何直立的人
So what's new? Still, uh...
最近怎麼樣 還是
A lesbian?
女同性戀
Well...you never know. How's, um...
世事難料嘛 那麼
how's the family?
家庭生活如何
Marty's still totally paranoid. Oh, and, uh-
瑪蒂的疑心病還是很重 還有
Why- why are you here, Carol?
卡羅爾 你來找我有什麼事
I'm pregnant.
我懷孕了
Pregnant?!
懷孕
she didn't leave in such a hurry after all
她似乎不急著離開
Oh, I think this is the episode of Three's Company where
我猜這是《三人行》裡
there's some kind of misunderstanding.
他們有誤會的那集
...Then I've already seen this one!
那我果真看過這一集
Are you through with that?
喝完沒
Yeah, sorry, the swallowing slowed me down.
真不好意思 我咽得太慢了
Whose little ball of paper is this?!
這是誰的小紙團
Oh, uh, that would be mine. See, I wrote a note to myself,
應該是我的 我寫給自己一張便條
and then I realised I didn't need it, so I balled it up and...
後來覺得不需要 於是將它揉成紙團
...now I wish I was dead.
於是我現在不想活了
She's already fluffed that pillow...
那個枕頭她已經拍過了
Monica, you know,you've already fluffed that--but, it's fine!
莫妮卡 你已經拍過了枕頭了 算了
Look , I'm sorry, guys,
抱歉各位
I just don't wanna give them any more ammunition
我只是不想給他們任何
than they already have.
借題發揮的機會
Yes, and we all know how cruel a parent can be
沒錯 眾所周知父母對孩子的枕頭
about the flatness of a child's pillow.
要求有多苛刻
Monica? Hi!
莫妮卡
Um, Monica, you're scaring me.
莫妮卡 你嚇到我了
I mean, you're like, you're like all chaotic and twirly.
我是說 你現在一副慌張失措的樣子
And not-not in a good way.
而且顯得不是很好
Yeah, calm down.
對啊 放輕鬆
You don't see Ross getting all chaotic and
每次他們來時從沒見
twirly every time they come.
羅斯露出慌張的樣子
That's because as far as my parents are concerned,Ross can do no wrong.
因為在我爸媽心目中 羅斯不可能犯錯
Y'see, he's the Prince.
他是個王子
Apparently they had some big ceremony before I was born.
顯然 他們在我出生前有個大型儀式
What?
什麼
Ugly Naked Guy got a thigh-master!
醜裸男搞了個健腿器
Has anybody seen my engagement ring?
有人見我訂婚戒指了嗎
Yeah, it's beautiful.
有 挺漂亮的
Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God.
天哪 天哪 天哪 天哪
No, look, don't touch that!
嘿 不要動它們
Oh, like I wasn't dreading tomorrow enough,
還嫌我現在不夠恐慌害怕嗎
having to give it back to him...
明天就得還他戒指了
'Hi Barry! Remember me? I'm the girl in the veil
巴瑞 記得我不 我是那個身穿婚紗
who stomped on your heart in front of your entire family!'
當著你全家人的面讓你顏面無存的女孩
Oh God and now I'm gonna have to return the ring,
天啊 如今我要去把戒指還給他
without the ring, which makes it so much harder...
結果戒指沒了 這是要逼死我啊
Easy Rach, we'll find it. Won't we!
別急 瑞秋 我們會找到的 對不
Oh! Yeah!
是呀 沒錯
Alright, when do you have it on last?
最後一次戴是在什麼時候
Doy! Probably right before she lost it!
呆子 大概是在丟失之前咯
You don't get a lot of 'doy' these days...
這年頭說"呆子"的人還真不多
I know I had it this morning,
我今天早上還戴著呢
and I know I had it when I was in the kitchen with...
我記得當時我正在廚房
...Dinah?
和黛娜一起嗎
Ohhhhh, don't be mad...
別生氣
You didn't?
你不是吧
Oh, I am sorry...
哦 對不起
I gave you one job!
我就讓你做了這麼一件事情
Oh, but look how straight those noodles are!
不過這麵條煮得還真直
Now, Monica, you know that's not
莫妮卡 你明白的
how you look for an engagement ring in a lasagne...
在千層面中找訂婚戒指不是這個樣子找的
I just...can't do it.
我 辦不到
Boys? We're going in.
夥計們 動手吧
Wow. That is not a happy hi.
聽語氣不怎麼開心啊
Carol's pregnant.
卡羅爾懷孕了
Ooh! I found it!
我找到了
W-w-wh-...wha-...w-w-w-...
什麼 啥 怎麼 什麼
Yeah. Do that for another two hours,
保持這個狀態兩小時
you might be where I am right about now.
你就會變成我現在這樣了
Kinda puts that whole pillow thing in perspective, huh, Mon?
如此一來 就不用操心枕頭的事了對吧
Well now, how-how do you fit into this whole thing?
那現在 你現在要怎麼辦
Well, Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved,
卡羅爾說她和蘇珊想讓我也參與進來
but if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved...
但是我對此感覺很不自在 我不想摻和
basically it's totally up to me.
一切由我做決定
She is so great! I miss her.
她人好好 我真想念她
What does she mean by 'involved'?
她所謂的"參與"是什麼意思
I mean presumably, the biggest part of your job is done.
我覺得 最大部分的工作你已經完成了
Anyway, they want me to go down to this-
總之 她們要我明天一起去
sonogram thing with them tomorrow.
做超聲波檢查
So what are you gonna do?
你打算怎麼做
I have no idea.
我也不知道
No matter what I do, though, I'm still gonna be a father.
不管我怎麼做 我都要當爸爸了
...Well, this is still ruined, right?
面已經被攪亂了 不是嗎
Oh, Martha Ludwin's daughter is gonna call you.
瑪莎·盧德文的女兒會打電話給你
Mmm! What's that curry taste?
怎麼會有咖哩味
Curry.
那就是咖喱
I- I think they're great! I, I really do.
我覺得挺很好吃 真的
Do you remember the Ludwins?
你還記得盧德文一家人嗎
The big one had a thing for you, didn't she?
他家的大女兒挺喜歡你 對不
They all had a thing for him.
他們家的女兒都喜歡他
Aw, Mom...
別這樣 媽
I'm sorry, why is this girl going to call me?
抱歉 她為何要打電話給我
Oh, she just graduated, and she wants to be something in cooking,
她剛畢業 想找份烹飪的工作
or food, or...I don't know.
或是做飯啥的 我也不清楚
Anyway, I told her you had a restaurant-
總之 我告訴她你開了一家餐館
No Mom, I don't have a restaurant,
不 媽 我沒開餐館
I work in a restaurant.
我是在餐廳工作
Well, they don't have to know that...
他們不需要知道這個
Ross, could you come and help me with the spaghetti, please?
羅斯 能過來幫我做義大利麵嗎
- Yeah. - Oh, we're having spaghetti!
-好 -我們要吃義大利麵呀
That's...easy.
太簡單了
I know this is going to sound unbelievably selfish,
我知道這樣要求過於自私
but, were you planning on bringing up the whole baby/lesbian thing?
你能提一下孩子和女同性戀的事嗎
Because I think it might take some of the heat off me.
因為那樣好歹能讓我稍稍喘口氣
What that Rachel did to her life...
瑞秋最近闖了那麼大的禍
We ran into her parents at the club,
我們在俱樂部遇見她父母
they were not playing very well.
他們很不開心
I'm not gonna tell you what they spent on that wedding...
我不會告訴你他們為婚禮耗費了多少錢
but forty thousand dollars is a lot of money!
但是四萬塊可是不少錢呢
Well, at least she had the chance to leave a man at the altar...
至少她曾擁有過把男人丟在教堂聖壇的機會
What's that supposed to mean?
這話算什麼意思
Nothing! It's an expression.
沒什麼 表達一下親情
No, it's not.
不 才不是呢
Don't listen to your mother.
別聽你媽的
You're independent, and you always have been!
你獨立自主 而且一直都這麼獨
Even when you were a kid...
就連你小時候也一樣
and you were chubby, and you had no friends,
那時你胖嘟嘟 一個朋友也沒有
you were just fine!
你還是活得好好的
And you would read alone in your room, and your puzzles...
你會獨自待在自己房間裡看書 玩拼圖
Look, there are people like Ross who need to shoot for the stars,
而像羅斯這種人卻註定要做人中之龍的
with his museum, and his papers getting published.
在博物館工作 發表論文
Other people are satisfied with staying where they are-
其他人則安逸於現狀
I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer.
告訴你 這些人絕不會得癌症哦
...And I read about these women trying to have it all,
我曾讀過一些女性也試圖想擁有一切
and I thank God 'Our Little Harmonica' doesn't seem to have that problem.
幸好咱家的小莫妮卡完全沒有這種煩惱
So, Ross, what's going on with you?
羅斯 你最近怎麼樣
Any stories?
有啥情況嗎
No news, no little anecdotes to share with the folks?
沒有新聞八卦之類能和爸媽分享一下嗎
Okay! Okay.
好吧 好吧
Look, I, uh- I realise
聽著 我明白
you guys have been wondering
你們一直想知道
what exactly happened between Carol and me, and,
我和卡羅爾之間倒底出了什麼事
so, well, here's the deal.
事情是這樣的
Carol's a lesbian.
卡羅爾是同性戀
She's living with a woman named Susan.
她現在和一個叫蘇珊的女人住在一起
She's pregnant with my child,
她還懷了我的孩子
and she and Susan are going to raise the baby.
並打算和蘇珊共同撫養
And you knew about this?!
這些你居然全都知道
Your folks are really that bad, huh?
你的爸媽真的很不怎麼樣啊
Well, y'know, these people are pros.
你要知道他們特別專業
They know what they're doing,
他們運籌帷幄
they take their time, they get the job done.
慢慢部署 最後總能達到目的
Boy, I know they say you can't change your parents,...
常言道 父母是無法交換的
boy, if you could--I'd want yours.
如果可以 我要你的父母
Must pee.
我去尿尿
Y'know, it's even worse when you're twins.
如果你是雙胞胎 情況會更慘
- You're twins? - Yeah. We don't speak.
-你是雙胞胎 -對 我們不往來
She's like this high-powered, driven career type.
她是那種精力充沛 事業心強的人
What does she do?
她從事什麼工作
She's a waitress.
服務生
All right, you guys, I kinda gotta clean up now.
好了各位 我得打掃了
Chandler, you're an only child, right?
錢德勒 你是獨生子對吧
- You don't have any of this. - Well, no,
-你就沒這些困擾 -沒有
although I did have an imaginary friend,
不過我有個想像中的朋友
who...my parents actually preferred.
而我爸媽比較喜歡他
The lights, please...
幫我關燈
...How long was I in there?
我剛在裡面多久了
I'm just cleaning up.
我在做打掃
Do you...uh...do you need any help?
那麼 你 你需要幫忙嗎
Uh...okay, sure! Thanks!
好呀 謝了
Anyway...um...
總之
So, you- uh- you nervous about Barry tomorrow?
明天要見巴瑞 緊張嗎
Oh...a little...
有一點
A lot.
很緊張
So, got any advice?
有什麼建議嗎
Y'know, as someone who's recently been- dumped?
作為一個剛剛被甩的人
Well, you may wanna steer clear of the word'dumped'.
你應該避免用"甩"這個字眼
Chances are he's gonna be this, this broken shell of a man, y'know,
因為現在他很有可能正痛不欲生
so you should try not to look too terrific,
而你也不該顯得如此光豔照人
I know it'll be hard.
我知道這一點很難做到
Or, y'know, uh, hey! I'll go down there,
這樣吧 我替你去一趟
and I'll give Barry back his ring,
把巴瑞的戒指還給他
and you can go with Carol and Susan to the OB/GYN...
你陪卡羅爾和蘇珊去做產科檢查
Oh, you've got Carol tomorrow...
你明天得見卡羅爾
When did it get so complicated?
為什麼會變得這麼複雜啊
Got me.
問倒我了
- Remember when we were in high school together? - Yeah.
-還記得我們在高中時嗎 -記得
I mean, didn't you think you were just gonna meet somone,
那時我們難道不都認為自己會遇見一個人
fall in love- and that'd be it?
墜入愛河 然後廝守終生嗎
- Ross? - Yes, yes!
-羅斯 -對 沒錯
Oh! Man, I never thought I'd be here...
沒想到自己會淪落到這個地步
Me either...
我也是
Sorry I'm late, I was stuck at work.
抱歉 我遲到了 工作太忙
There was this big dinosaur...thing...anyway.
忙著處理巨型恐龍什麼的
Ross, you remember Susan.
羅斯 記得蘇珊嗎
How could I forget?
我怎能忘得了
Ross.
羅斯
Hello, Susan. Good shake. Good shake.
你好 蘇珊 她的手好有力
So, uh, we're just waiting for...?
那麼我們在等
Dr. Oberman.
歐伯曼大夫
- ...Dr. Oberman. Okay. And is he - She.
-歐伯曼大夫他 -是女的
She, of course, she- uh-
女的 當然了 那麼她
familiar with our...special situation?
了解我們的特殊狀況吧
Yes, and she's very supportive.
了解 而且她非常支持
Okay, that's great.
好 太好了
No, I'm- Oh.
不 我不用
Thanks.
謝了
Ross? That opens my cervix.
羅斯 那是用來打開我的子宮頸的
Barry?
巴瑞
Come in.
進來
Are you sure?
不打擾吧
Yeah! It's fine, it's fine. Robbie's gonna be here for hours.
沒問題 羅比得待在這兒好幾個小時呢
So, how are you doing?
最近好嗎
I'm- uh- I'm okay...You look great!
我還行 你的氣色好極了
Dr. Farber,
範瑞柏醫生
- Jason Greenstein's gagging. - Be right there.
-傑森·格林斯坦吐了 -馬上到
Be back in a sec.
我馬上回來
I dumped him.
我甩的他
So, how's this all gonna work?
接下來會怎麼樣
Y'know, with us?
我是說 關於咱們仨
Y'know, when, like, important decisions have to be made?
比方說某些重大的決定
Give me a 'for instance'.
舉個例子
Well, uh, uh, I don't know, okay, okay,
好吧 我也不知道 好吧好吧
how about with the, uh, with the baby's name?
比方說 給孩子起名
- Marlon. - Marlon?
-馬龍 -馬龍
If it's a boy,
如果是男孩的話
Minnie if it's a girl.
如果是個女孩就叫米妮
...As in Mouse?
跟米老鼠的女友同名
As in my grandmother.
和我奶奶同名
Still, you- you say Minnie, you hear Mouse.
不管怎樣 聽到米妮還是想到米老鼠
Um,how about, um...how about Julia?
對了 叫朱莉亞 怎麼樣
Julia...
朱莉亞
We agreed on Minnie.
我們決定用米妮
Totally, um, uh, we agreed we'd spend the rest of our lives together.
很好 我倆還曾決定共度一生呢
Things change, roll with the punches.
世事難料 見招拆招
I believe Julia's on the table...?
茱莉亞 可以作為備選嗎
Sorry about that.
真不好意思
So. What have you been up to?
對了 最近你過得如何
Oh, not much. I-I got a job.
混得過去 我剛找到工作
Oh, that's great.
這太好了
Why are- why are you so tanned?
你怎麼曬得這麼黑
Oh, I, uh- I went to Aruba.
我去阿魯巴了
- Oh no. You went on our honeymoon alone? - No,
-你獨自一人去度蜜月了 -不是
I went with, uh...Now, this may hurt.
我是和 你也許會受傷
- Me?! - No!
-我嗎 -不是
I went with Mindy.
我和明蒂去的
Mindy?! My maid of honour, Mindy?!
明蒂 我的伴娘 明蒂嗎
Yeah, well, uh, we're kind of a thing now.
對 我們現在算是正式交往中
Oh! Well...um, You've got plugs!
哦 好吧 你去做植髮了
Careful! They haven't quite taken yet.
小心點 還沒有固定得很好呢
And you've got lenses!
你還配了隱形眼鏡
But you hate sticking your finger in your eye!
你不是討厭將手指戳進眼裡嗎
Not for her.
為了她就不同了
Listen, I really wanted to thank you.
聽我說 我真的想謝謝你
See, about a month ago, I wanted to hurt you.
一個月前 我還想傷害你
More than I've ever wanted to hurt anyone in my life.
這輩子我都從未如此想去傷害某個人
And I'm an orthodontist.
我可是個牙醫呢
Wow. You know, you were right?
哇 對啊 你說得沒錯
I mean, I thought we were happy.
我之前以為我們很幸福
We weren't happy.
其實我們並不幸福
But with Mindy,now I'm happy.
但和明蒂在一起 現在我很幸福
- Spit. - What?
-吐掉 -什麼
Me.
說我啦
Anyway, um,
算了
I guess this belongs to you.
我想這個該還給你
And thank you for giving it to me.
謝謝你將它送給我
Well, thank you for giving it back.
好吧 也謝謝你送還給我
Hello!
餵
Oh, please! What's wrong with Helen?
拜託 海倫有什麼不好
Helen Geller?
海倫·蓋勒
I don't think so.
我不同意
- It's not gonna be Helen Geller. - Thank you!
-她不會叫海倫·蓋勒的 -謝謝
No, I mean it's not Geller.
不 我是說她不姓蓋勒
What, it's gonna be Helen Willick?
難道她叫海倫·威利克
No, actually, um,
不 老實說
we talked about Helen Willick-Bunch.
我們考慮用海倫·威利克·班奇
Well, wait a minute, wha- why is she in the title?
等等 為何名字裡有她的份
It's my baby too.
因為她也是我的孩子
Oh, so funny, really? Um, I don't remember you making any sperm.
真搞笑啊 我不記得你也貢獻了精子
Yeah, and we all know what a challenge that is!
我們都知道那是個極大的挑戰
All right, you two, stop it!
夠了 你們兩個 別吵了
No no no, she gets a credit,
不 功勞全讓她搶了
hey, I'm in there too.
拜託 我也是當事人好嗎
Ross. You're not actually suggesting
羅斯 你該不會想用
Helen Willick-Bunch-Geller?
海倫·威利克·班奇·蓋勒吧
Cause I think that borders on child abuse.
因為我覺得這樣很像虐待兒童
Of course not,
當然沒有
I'm...suggesting Geller-Willick-Bunch.
我想用蓋勒·威利克·班奇
Oh, no, nonononono,
不行 不行不行不行
you see what he's doing?
你看出他的心思了嗎
He knows no-one's gonna say all those names,
他知道沒人會叫全名的
so they'll wind up calling her Geller, then he gets his way!
這樣大家只會叫她蓋勒 他就此得逞
My way?! You-you think this is my way?
我得逞 你認為這樣算得逞
Believe me, of all the ways
相信我 我這輩子都沒想到
I ever imagined this moment in my life being,
自己會淪落到這步田地
this is not my way- y'know what?
這不是我想要的好嗎
Uh, um, this is too hard. I'm not, I can't do-
這太難了 我不行 我做不到
Knock knock! How are we today? Any nausea?
有人在嗎 今天如何 想嘔吐嗎
- A little. - Yeah. - Yeah.
-一點點 -想吐 -有點兒吧
Well, I was just wondering about the mother-to-be,
好吧 我只是想問問準媽媽
but...thanks for sharing.
不過 謝謝你們這麼配合
Uh, lie back...
躺好
You- uh- y'know what, I'm gonna go.
那個 我準備走了
I don't- I don't think I can be involved
這件事太不尋常了
in this particular thing right now.
我覺得自己沒辦法參與進來
Oh, my God.
我的天啊
Look at that.
看啊
I know.
我知道
Well? Isn't that amazing?
怎麼樣 很神奇吧
What are we supposed to be seeing here?
我們應該看到什麼
I don't know, but...
我不知道 不過
I think it's about to attack the Enterprise.
我覺得它似乎馬上要去攻擊企業號
You know, if you tilt your head to the left,
如果你們把頭稍微向左偏
and relax your eyes,
兩眼放空
it kind looks like an old potato.
它的樣子就像是一顆老土豆
Then don't do that, alright?
那拜託不要那麼看 行嗎
Okay!
好
Monica. What do you think?
莫妮卡 你認為呢
Wh- are you welling up?
你是不是熱淚盈眶呀
No.
不是
You are, you're welling up.
你就是 你熱淚盈眶
I'm not!
我沒有
You're gonna be an aunt.
你就要成為姑姑了
Oh shut up!
閉嘴啦
Hi, Mindy. Hi, it-it's Rachel.
餵 明蒂 餵 我是瑞秋
Yeah, I'm fine.I saw Barry today.
我很好 我今天和巴瑞見面了
Yeah, he told me.
對 他告訴我了
No,i t's okay. Really, it's okay
不 沒關係 真的 沒事
I hope you two are very happy, I really do.
我祝你們幸福快樂 真心祝福
Oh, oh, and Mind, y'know, if-if everything works out,
對了 明蒂 如果你們感情順利
and you guys end up getting married and having kids-
最後能結婚生子的話
and everything-
那麼
I just hope they have his old hairline and your old nose.
希望你的孩子有他的髮際線和你的糟鼻子
Okay, I know it was a cheap shot,
我知道這招很賤
but I feel so much better now.
但我感覺棒極了