為什麼人們這麼不擅長送禮物？

What’s the worst holiday gift you』ve ever received?
你收過的最糟的節日禮物是什麼？
For me, it’s pretty easy.
就我來說 這很好回答
My mom used to consider Chanukah
我媽曾認為光明節
like a belated back-to-school holiday.
就是一個遲來的返校節日
We would get binders, pens, staplers.
我和我妹會收到活頁夾 筆 訂書機
Once my mom wrapped this huge mystery present for my sister
有一次 我媽給我妹妹包了一個神秘巨大的禮物
that she thought was a dollhouse.
我妹妹原以為那是個玩具屋
But it wasn’t a dollhouse.
但並不是
It was a trash can.
它只是個垃圾桶
Most of us are actually terrible at giving gifts.
實際上 大多數人在送禮物時做的都很糟糕
About $70 billion dollars worth of presents
在美國每年會有
are returned every year in the U.S.
價值約七百億美元的禮物被退貨
So how do we get… less terrible?
那怎樣才能不那麼糟糕呢？
Here are 3 ways to improve your gift-giving game around the holiday
我將介紹3條送出更佳節日禮物的方法
One, stop trying to make your gifts so delightful.
方法1 別再送華而不實的禮物了
Research has shown that givers are obsessed
研究表明送禮物的人太在意
with the moment of unwrapping a gift,
禮物被拆開的那一瞬間
even more than the gift itself.
而忽視了禮物本身
We envision the look of delirious happiness on their faces,
我們預想對方拆開禮物時臉上的驚喜表情
and the ecstatic exclamations,
和狂喜的尖叫
like, wow! Oh my gosh! You really know me!
就像 哇哦！我的天吶！你太懂我了！
Ironically, givers are selfish.
諷刺的是 這種送禮物的人是自私的
We want something from giving:
他們想要的是對方收到禮物時
those looks of delight, those exclamations.
流露出的喜悅和讚嘆
This is why items like hyper-specific kitchen gadgets,
這就是像非常特殊的廚房小玩意
and fancy vintage clocks all seem like fantastic gifts.
和華麗的古董時鐘這類禮物看起來很贊的原因
But it turns out, recipients often want things
但實際上 收禮者經常更希望收到比較實用的禮物
that are far more practical — things they can actually use.
——他們能真正用得上的東西
In one study, researchers asked givers and recipients
在一項研究中 研究人員要求送禮者與收禮者
to rate gifts along two metrics:
從兩方面來評價禮物：
Desirability, like a complicated but fancy coffee maker
一方面是吸引力 比如一臺操作複雜但華麗的咖啡機
and feasibility
另一方面是實用性
like a coffee maker you can actually use
比如一個你不需要看好幾個小時說明書
without studying the instructions for several hours.
就能使用的咖啡機
They found that givers reliably chose the desirable gifts.
結果表明送禮者更樂意選擇有吸引力的禮物
But recipients just prefer feasibility.
而收禮者比較喜歡更實用的禮物
So what’s the most practical gift you can give
所以你能送出的能讓對方真正感激你的
that people might actually be grateful for?
最為實用的禮物是什麼呢？
Two, when in doubt, give cash.
方法2 當你不知道送什麼好時 給現金吧
When economists study gift giving,
當經濟學家研究送禮時
they’re very concerned with one thing: waste.
他們很關心一件事情：浪費
Let’s say hypothetically
假設
that my grandmother buys me a sweater that I hate,
我奶奶給我買了一件我不喜歡的毛衣
and your grandmother buys you a sweater that you hate.
你奶奶也給你買了一件你不喜歡的毛衣
Sorry, grandmothers.
對不起啦 奶奶們
Before long, we’re talking about billions of dollars in waste in the economy.
不久 我們將面臨數百萬美元的經濟損失
Economists call it 「deadweight loss」
經濟學家稱之為「無謂損失」
and they estimate that up to 30% of the value of all gifts is wasted.
據估計高達所有禮物總價值的30%都浪費了
That means — the companies wasted time making the gift,
這意味著——工廠浪費了時間生產這些禮物
It means the givers wasted time giving it out,
送禮者浪費了時間把禮物送出去
and it means the recipients wasted time returning it.
收禮者也浪費了時間退禮物
There’s a way to fix this.
有個方法可以解決這個浪費問題
There is a very specific gift that is always worth the exact same
有一種禮物對送禮者和收禮者來說
to both the giver and the receiver.
總是具有相同價值的
It’s called cash.
那就是現金
The good thing about cash is
送現金的好處是
that the receiver can always make use of 100 percent of its value.
現金的價值能夠完全被收禮者利用起來
The bad thing about cold, hard cash is that… it’s cold.
壞處是給冷冰冰的現金顯得冷漠
It doesn’t say anything except,
送現金缺少人情味
「Here, take some money.」
只能表示「這是給你的錢」
So this is a conundrum.
所以我們面臨一個難題
How do we design a gift-giving formula
如何找到一條送禮法則
that is as efficient as cash,
使其和現金一樣實用
and as sentimental as you want to be?
又能充分體現人情味
Three, just give people what they ask for
方法3 送對方要的東西
A good way to get what you want
得到你想要的禮物的一種好的方法就是
is–shocker!–to tell people what you want.
別不信——就是告訴對方你想要什麼
A 2011 study looked at Amazon wish lists to determine
2011年有一個針對亞馬遜上的願望清單的研究
if people were more appreciative of gifts that were on their wish lists
探究人們是更喜歡自己清單上的禮物
versus gifts that were total surprises.
還是那些出乎意料的禮物
It turned out that when people got gifts that weren’t on their list,
研究表明當人們收到清單之外的禮物時
they considered them less thoughtful and less personal.
他們會認為這些禮物送的不明智也沒個性
Surprise is overrated
我們高估了所謂的驚喜
— we’re happier to get what we ask for.
——我們更高興收到自己想要的東西
We do everything we can to keep gifts top secret:
我們總是盡力去維持禮物的神秘性：
We wrap them so they don’t look like they came from a store.
我們精心包裝禮物使它們看上去不像是從商店買來的
We tear the price tags off.
我們撕掉禮物的價格標籤
But we are spending money here.
但是包裝禮物的同時我們也在多花錢
If you want to make your gift count,
如果你想要你的禮物有價值
stop obsessing about the moment of unwrapping and surprise.
不要僅僅在意對方打開禮物的瞬間和驚喜
Find out what the people that you love want
而是要弄清楚你愛的人想要的東西是什麼
and get it for them.
然後把它作為禮物送給他們
This is You Are Here,
這就是You Are Here本期的內容
a show about the science of everyday life.
You Are Here 帶你關注日常中的科學
I’m Derek Thompson.
我是 Derek Thompson
Thank you for watching.
感謝您的觀看