As it turns out, evidence supports that if we want to ramp up our productivity and happiness, we should actually be doing less. We found that we're truly focused on our work a mere six hours per week, which starkly contrasts our collective buy-in to the 40-hour workweek. When you stop doing the things that make you feel busy but aren't getting you results (and are draining you of energy), then you end up with more than enough time for what matters and a sense of peace and spaciousness that constant activity has kept outside your reach.
As people with full lives — kids, careers, friends, passions, logistics, and more — how can we apply the wisdom of doing less to give ourselves more time and alleviate stress without jeopardizing our results?
We need to identify what not to do. But this determination can't be random. It must be methodical and evidence-based. Through my work with women navigating the dual vocations of entrepreneurship and motherhood, I've created a surprisingly simple exercise to help individuals decide what activities on their to-do list bring them the most value, and which they can stop doing. Here's how it works:
Step 1: Draw a line down the middle of a piece of paper, lengthwise.
Step 2: Decide on an area of your life or work where you'd like to have better results and less stress. For example, perhaps you want to expand your thought leadership.
Step 3: On the left-hand side, list the tasks or activities you do in that area of your work or life. As an aspiring thought leader, you might list attending conferences, pitching organizations for speaking opportunities, writing new articles, reading and researching, and so on.
Step 4: On the right-hand side, make a list of your biggest 「wins」 in that area, like a speaking gig, a presentation you really nailed at work, or a pitch that was accepted at a major publication. This can often be a difficult step for some people. We have not been culturally conditioned to celebrate ourselves, so often, folks will draw a blank when listing their 「wins.」 Any result you've gotten (either one time or repeatedly) that was positive can go on this list. Don't get caught up in listing the 「right」 things. Just list what comes to you.
Step 5: Draw a line connecting each of your biggest wins to the activity or task that was most responsible for that result. Reading and researching, for instance, were essential to getting your pitch accepted for publication, so connect these two together.
Step 6: Circle all the activities and tasks on the left side of your paper that have been responsible for your big wins. Look at what's left. Whatever isn't circled is something that you need to either stop doing completely, significantly minimize, or delegate if it absolutely must be done. For instance, if you discover that traveling for conferences once a month isn't directly contributing to any wins, it's time to set that aside or at least cut back.
This same approach can be used to determine where to do less in other areas of your life. For instance, if you're looking to connect more with your children, you might list a few specific memories or 「wins」 when you really felt like you were being the best parent you could, such as singing silly songs with your preschooler while folding the laundry on a Sunday morning or when your preteen bared their soul to you and you felt so honored by how safe they felt to tell you the hard stuff.
Now think about the tasks you do on a regular basis: laundry, making lunch, reminding your kids to do their schoolwork, checking off committee items for the PTA, making sure everyone has clothes that fit, and scheduling pediatrician appointments. While these tasks may need to be done, this exercise can give us permission to spend less time on these activities. Often the things we think we 「must」 do are simply because we always have done them or others around us do them and we think we should, too. Such a perspective creates unnecessary stress when we do these tasks late, make errors, or ask for help. Maybe instead of serving on the PTA, you can just attend the occasional meeting — or follow up with another parent who regularly attends. Perhaps you can set up a system where your children are in charge of making sure their schoolwork is done by a particular time each day, rather than reminding them yourself. On the other hand, if you discover that making lunch with your preteen provided that opportunity for them to initiate a heart-to-heart, maybe that's something you'd like to keep on your list.
Repeat this exercise for as many areas of your life that you'd like to enhance through subtraction. Be ruthless. And don't forget to consider what brings you joy. Not only does happiness make you at least 12% more productive, it's also what makes life worth living in the first place.
Life is not about racking up a list of accomplishments. What can you stop doing to make more time for yourself, make more time for joy, and use your time more meaningfully? The next time you set a goal or decide you want to improve upon an area of your life — or simply alleviate some of the pain that area is causing you — remember to go for subtraction instead of addition. Revel in the joy of doing less.
我們被教導，如果我們想要更多——金錢、成就、活力、快樂、內心的平靜——我們就需要做更多，在我們不斷增長的待辦事項清單上增加更多。但如果我們被教導錯了呢?如果得到更多我們想要的東西的答案不是加法，而是減法呢?
事實證明，如果我們想提高生產力和幸福感，我們實際上應該少做一些。我們發現，我們每周只花6個小時就能真正專注於工作，這與每周40小時的工作時間形成了鮮明對比。當你停止做那些讓你感到忙碌但卻不能給你帶來結果(而且會耗盡你的精力)的事情時，你就會有足夠的時間去做那些重要的事情，並且會有一種長期的活動無法帶給你的寧靜和空間感。
作為一個擁有完整生活的人——孩子，事業，朋友，激情，物流，以及更多——我們怎樣才能在不影響結果的情況下運用做得少的智慧來給自己更多的時間和緩解壓力呢?
我們需要明確哪些事不能做。但這個決定不可能是隨機的。它必須是有系統的和以證據為基礎的。通過我對那些從事企業家和母親雙重職業的女性的研究，我創建了一個非常簡單的練習，幫助人們決定他們的待辦事項清單上哪些活動能給他們帶來最大的價值，哪些可以停止。下面是它的工作原理:
第一步:在一張紙中間縱向畫一條線。
第二步:在你的生活或工作中選擇一個你希望有更好結果和更少壓力的領域。例如，也許你想擴展你的思想領導能力。
第三步:在左手邊，列出你在工作或生活中所做的任務或活動。作為一個有抱負的思想領袖，你可以列出參加會議、向組織推銷演講機會、寫新文章、閱讀和研究等等。
第四步:在右手邊，列出你在該領域取得的最大「成功」，比如一次演講，一次你在工作中表現出色的演講，或者一次被大型出版物接受的演講。這對一些人來說是一個困難的步驟。在文化上，我們並沒有習慣慶祝自己，所以，人們在列出他們的「勝利」時往往一無所獲。你得到的任何積極的結果(一次或多次)都可以列在這個列表上。不要糾結於列出「正確的」事情。把你想到的東西列出來。
第五步:把你的每一次最大的成功與導致這個結果的活動或任務聯繫起來。例如，閱讀和研究是讓你的作品被接受發表的必要條件，所以要把這兩者聯繫起來。
第六步:在你的論文的左邊圈出所有對你的重大勝利負有責任的活動和任務。看看還剩下什麼。凡是沒有圈出來的東西，你要麼完全停止，要麼顯著最小化，要麼必須委託。例如，如果你發現每月參加一次會議並不能直接幫助你取得成功，那就把它放在一邊，或者至少減少一次。
同樣的方法也可以用來決定在生活的其他方面少做些什麼。例如,如果你想連接更多的和你的孩子,你可能會列出一些特定的記憶或「贏了」當你真的覺得你是最好的父母,如愚蠢的歌曲演唱與你的學齡前兒童在摺疊衣服在周日早上或當你的青春期前的孩子露出他們的靈魂,你感到很榮幸他們覺得多安全努力告訴你的東西。
現在想想你經常做的事情:洗衣服，準備午餐，提醒你的孩子做作業，核對家長教師協會的委員會事項，確保每個人都有合適的衣服，安排兒科醫生的預約。雖然這些任務可能需要完成，但是這個練習可以讓我們在這些活動上花更少的時間。我們認為自己「必須」做的事情，往往只是因為我們一直在做，或者我們周圍的人在做，我們認為自己也應該做。當我們做這些事情太晚、犯錯誤或尋求幫助時，這樣的觀點會給我們帶來不必要的壓力。也許你可以不參加家長教師聯繫會，而只是參加偶爾的家長會——或者和其他定期參加的家長一起跟進。也許你可以建立一個系統，讓你的孩子負責確保他們的作業在每天的特定時間完成，而不是自己提醒他們。另一方面，如果你發現和你十幾歲的孩子一起做午餐可以讓他們有機會開始一場心連心的交流，也許這是你想要做的事情。
在你生活中想要通過減法增強的領域重複這個練習。是無情的。別忘了考慮給你帶來快樂的是什麼。快樂不僅讓你的工作效率提高了至少12%，它還讓你的生活更有價值。
生活不是一份成就清單。你能停止做什麼來為自己創造更多的時間，為快樂創造更多的時間，並更有意義地利用你的時間嗎?下次當你設定一個目標或者決定要改善你生活的某個方面——或者僅僅是減輕那個方面給你帶來的一些痛苦——記住要做減法而不是加法。享受少做的快樂。