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How Not to Struggle With Negative Experiences
Life is hard — way harder than anyone thought it would be. When you were younger, you dreamed of the world being your playground, and you were told that you could do anything and be anyone you wanted. Somehow, though, things haven’t been the smooth sailing you wanted them to be. The world seems to conspire against you, and the last thing you want to hear is 「Cheer up!」
生活是很困難的——比任何人想像的更難。年輕時,你的夢想世界是遊樂場,和你被告知你可以做任何事,和成為你想成為的任何人。不過,你不會一帆風順的得到你想要的。世界似乎要加害你,你想聽到的最後一句話就是「振作起來!」
Still, there are a couple things you might not notice about your situation. Next time you’re down, maybe the following will provide motivation:
然而,有幾件事你可能不會注意到。當你情緒低落時時,也許以下信息將為你提供動機:
Not everything is bad.
不是一切都是不好的。
It’s a well accepted fact that bad news makes for sensational television ratings. The fact that something is negative catches a lot more attention than something positive in the same vein, and that’s because it’s easy to see things in a negative light. However, that should not distract you from the bigger picture.
這是一個廣泛接受的事實那就是壞消息使得聳人聽聞的電視收視率上升。一些負面的消息比積極的同樣的東西吸引了更多的注意力,這就是為什麼我們很容易看到事情消極的那一面。然而,那不會從更大的圖景上分散你的注意力。
Resist the tunnel vision that results from constant negativity. Remember that even though there’s a lot of really nasty stuff going on, you’re surrounded by some pretty awesome stuff, as well.
持續的消極情緒會使視野狹窄。記住,即使真的有很多麻煩,你周圍也都是一些很可怕的東西。
Other people aren’t you.
別人不是你。
No one likes being compared to another person. What makes it even worse, if that’s even possible, is when you do it to yourself.
沒有人喜歡和另一個人比較。什麼甚至使得它更糟糕,如果可能的話,是你在做你自己的時候。
Stop comparing yourself to another person and you will realize that you are way more awesome than you give yourself credit for.
不要再把自己和他人比較,你就會意識到你比自己想像得還要優秀。
Failure isn’t where the game stops.
失敗並不在比賽停止時。
So you tried something new, but you didn’t follow through. Frustrated at yourself, you stop trying. As a result, your quality of life goes down immensely. You』ve given up on it, though, because you don’t see the point (since you failed the first time).
你嘗試一些新的東西,但是你並沒有跟隨下去。在自己沮喪時,你停止嘗試。結果,你的生活質量下降。你放棄了它,因為你看不到這一點(因為你第一次失敗了)。
Now, you’re an adult. The things you are trying are much more complicated than 5-year-old you. However, your behaviour should not change in the slightest — when you fail at something, that’s just more information in your data bank. You know that method does not work, so try another one! And another one after that! Do this until you figure it out.
現在,你是一個成年人。你們處理的東西比5歲時複雜得多。然而,你的行為應該一點也沒有改變,當你失敗時,這只是使你的數據銀行信息更多。你知道這個方法不起作用,所以嘗試另一個!之後的另一個!這樣做,直到你弄明白。
Giving up is for lesser beings, and you sure aren’t one of those.
放棄是懦弱的人做的事,你一定不是其中之一。
The past is way back there.
過去是回到這裡的路。
There is not a human alive or dead that has never made a choice they regret. Whether it was something so small as a purchase you later decided was a bad idea, or something gargantuan, like the weird tryst you had with the foreign exchange student during Club Rush in sophomore year, it’s there. And you’re treating it like a big, swollen thumb.
沒有一個活著或是死的人從未因為他們做的決定而後悔過。無論它是否是一件很小很小的事情就像你回頭購買是一個壞主意,或龐大的東西,像你與外國交換學生在大二俱樂部裡奇怪的幽會。你處理它像一個大的,腫脹的拇指。
Knock that off immediately and you will see just how much your life improves. The most important thing to take away from this idea is that your past is not what makes you who you are. The things that happened to you way back there are just that — in the past. You cannot change what happened to you, but you can definitely change how it affects you in the present and whether it will dictate who you are in the future.
立即敲開門你會看到你的生活改善了多少。遠離這個理念的最重要的事情是過去不會決定你是誰。發生在你回來的路上的事情只有——在過去。你不能改變在你身上發生的事,但你絕對可以改變它現在是如何影響你的和將來是否會決定你是誰。
You are alive right now, and right now is all you get. You can’t go back, and the future is coming at its own pace. Don’t worry about the other two points — this one, right now, is the important one.
你現在還活著,現在都是你得到的。你不能回去,未來以它自己的速度到來。不要擔心其他兩點——這個在現在是重要的一個。
Everything that happens in your life is valuable.
發生在你的生活中的一切都是有價值的。
My personal life’s philosophy can be summed up in one sentence: No experience is a wasted one if it leads to a story you can tell.
我個人生活的理念可以總結為一句話：沒有經驗是一種浪費，如果它引出一個你可以講的故事。
Did you get kicked out of your apartment and have to spend three weeks living in your car while you tried to find a new place? Story time. Did your bank account get stolen by a scammer and used to purchase a yacht? Story time. Did you lose your best friend to a petty squabble, and now you won’t even talk any more? Story bloody time! The stuff that seems bad now is the stuff you will tell stories about in the future.
你曾被趕出公寓,在你試圖找到一個新地方前三個星期住在你的車裡嗎?故事時間。你的銀行帳戶被騙子偷來購買遊艇過嗎?故事時間。你因為小爭吵失去你最好的朋友,並且現在你們甚至不會說話了嗎?血腥的故事時間!現在看起來糟糕的東西將來你也會像講故事一樣的說出來。
See your life through your own eyes.
通過自己的眼睛看到你的生活。
If you let someone else tell you your life is terrible, then you might as well believe them. Never, ever take that from another living being. Your life belongs to you, so you get to decide whether it’s good or not. You may not always get the exact things you are looking for when you come to the temple, but the temple welcomes you anyway, and you cannot deny its hospitality.
如果別人告訴你你的生活很糟糕,那麼你不要相信他們。永遠不要從另一個人那裡得到。你的生活屬於你,所以是好是壞由你來決定。當你來到聖殿，你並不總是得到你正在尋找的東西,但不管怎樣寺廟歡迎你,你不能否認它的款待。
Of course, negative things happen. Of course, they are terrible and dreadful. But, maybe, those negative experiences are the real link between the happy and the sad.
當然,負面的事情也會發生。當然,他們是令人恐怖的和可怕的。但是,也許這些消極經歷把快樂和悲傷真正的連結在一起。
(責任編輯：田學江)