生活將我們磨圓，是為了讓我們滾更遠。
Life will round us, is to let us roll further.
單身久了，別說擰瓶蓋了，消防栓我都能擰開。
I've been single for a long time. Let alone screw the bottle cap. I can screw the fire hydrant.
一個人恍然大悟叫發現，一群人恍然大悟叫受騙。
A person's sudden realization is discovery, and a group of people's sudden realization is deception.
你長成那樣兒，就不要撒嬌了吧，容易讓人起妊娠反應。
If you grow up like that, don't be coquettish. It's easy for people to react to pregnancy.
愛情是一場高燒，燒傻的就去結婚了，退燒的分了手，那些痴痴纏纏的都是正在燒著的。
Love is a high fever, burning silly to get married, fever of parting hands, those who are burning.
只願得一人心，免得老去相親。
Just want to get a heart, so as not to go on a blind date.
現實中的感情，就是一個不認輸，一個不罷手，湊合一輩子。
In reality, one doesn't give up, the other doesn't give up, making do for a lifetime.
在過去，只要感情真，年齡不是問題。而現在，只要感情真，性別不是問題。
In the past, as long as the feelings were true, age was not a problem. Now, as long as the feelings are true, gender is not a problem.
永遠不要和父母吵架，因為你吵不贏的時候只有挨罵，當你吵得贏的時候只有挨打。
Never quarrel with your parents, because you only get scolded when you can't win, and only get beaten when you can win.
請不要叫我宅男，叫我閉家鎖；請不要叫我宅女，叫我居裡夫人。
Please don't call me otaku, call me lock up; please don't call me otaku, call me Madame Curie.
只要能幹掉鳥人，我就是天使！
As long as I can kill Birdman, I am an angel!
秀髮去無蹤，頭屑更出眾。
No trace of hair, dandruff more outstanding.
沒人送你禮物沒關係，你可以找我啊，只要你開口，我都說沒有。
It doesn't matter if no one gives you a gift. You can come to me. As long as you open your mouth, I say no.
想當年我也是顆痴情種子，結果下場雨，淹死了。
I was also an infatuated seed, but it rained and drowned.