這是 笑學英文 的第 2 篇文章
本文可笑指數 ★★★☆☆
1
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An investigator.
2
Q: How many arms has an alligator got?
A: Depends how far he has got with eating his dinner!
3
Q: Why don't alligators like fast food?
A: Because they can't catch it!
4
Q: What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
A: I don't know, but I'm not going to smell it!
5
Q: What do you call a crocodile with GPS?
A: A navigator.
6
Q: What do alligators call human children?
A: Appetizers.
7
Q: Who gives alligators presents on Christmas?
A: Santa Jaws!
8
Q: What's worse than one alligator coming to dinner?
A: Two alligators coming to dinner
9
Q: Why shouldn't you shoot an alligator?
A: He'll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
10
A rich millionaire decides to throw a massive party for his 50th birthday, so during this party he grabs the microphone and he announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two alligators in it. 'I will give anything they desire of mine, to the man who swims across that pool.'
So the party continues with no events in the pool, until suddenly, there is a great splash and all the guests of the party run to the pool to see what has happened.
In the pool is a man and he is swimming as hard as he can, and the tails come out of the water and the jaws are snapping and this guy just keeps on going and the alligators are gaining on him and this guy reaches the end and he gets out of the pool, tired and soaked.
The millionaire grabs the microphone and says, 'I am a man of my word, anything of mine I will give, my Ferraris, my house, absolutely anything, for you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So sir what will it be?' the millionaire asks.
The guy grabs the microphone and says, 'Why don't we start with the name of the bastard that pushed me in!'
笑點都找到了嗎😉
要不我們再一起看一遍😜
1
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An investigator.
Investigator可拆解為in-vest-igator，對應in a vest alligator。
2
Q: How many arms has an alligator got?
A: Depends how far he has got with eating his dinner!
提問者的問題有兩層意思：
鱷魚有幾條腿？/ 鱷魚逮住了幾條腿？
回答者選擇回答了第二個問題。
3
Q: Why don't alligators like fast food?
A: Because they can't catch it!
笑點在於fast，fast food本是快餐的意思，但這裡選擇了直白的意思——快速移動的食物。
4
Q: What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
A: I don't know, but I'm not going to smell it!
笑點在於cross，它不僅有「跨越」的意思，還有「惹怒」的意思。
5
Q: What do you call a crocodile with GPS?
A: A navigator.
Crocodile也是鱷魚，笑點與1中的相似。
6
Q: What do alligators call human children?
A: Appetizers.
笑點不僅在於鱷魚拿人類小孩當開胃菜，還在於alligators與appetizers聽起來很像。
人類稱呼鱷魚為alligators，心裡多少覺得恐懼；鱷魚稱呼人類為appetizers，這是覺得好吃。這種反差也讓這個笑話更好笑。
7
Q: Who gives alligators presents on Christmas?
A: Santa Jaws!
聖誕老人給人類送聖誕禮物，但是沒誰敢給鱷魚送聖誕禮物——如果有，也只能是「大白鯊」。看過《大白鯊》（Jaws）應該都懂得笑點所在了吧。
8
Q: What's worse than one alligator coming to dinner?
A: Two alligators coming to dinner.
笑點很好找，中文裡也有很多類似笑話。比如我隨便想一個：
——比找一份工作還難的事情是什麼？
——找兩份。
9
Q: Why shouldn't you shoot an alligator?
A: He'll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
笑點在於這句話的表面意思是鱷魚會咬住子彈，但其實是借用了英語習語bite the bullet and make the best of it，它的意思是to accept something difficult and try to live with it。
10
A rich millionaire decides to throw a massive party for his 50th birthday, so during this party he grabs the microphone and he announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two alligators in it. 'I will give anything they desire of mine, to the man who swims across that pool.'
So the party continues with no events in the pool, until suddenly, there is a great splash and all the guests of the party run to the pool to see what has happened.
In the pool is a man and he is swimming as hard as he can, and the tails come out of the water and the jaws are snapping and this guy just keeps on going and the alligators are gaining on him and this guy reaches the end and he gets out of the pool, tired and soaked.
The millionaire grabs the microphone and says, 'I am a man of my word, anything of mine I will give, my Ferraris, my house, absolutely anything, for you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So sir what will it be?' the millionaire asks.
The guy grabs the microphone and says, 'Why don't we start with the name of the bastard that pushed me in!'
所以這個人其實並不勇敢，只是被人推下去了……
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