據英國天空新聞網等媒體消息,美國女演員梅根在《紐約時報》25日的一篇文章中自曝:她曾經在7月份遭遇流產,和丈夫哈裡失去了他們尚未出生的第二個孩子。
感恩節臨近,這位39歲的媽媽選擇在社交網絡大膽分享了她的個人經歷,呼籲人們在感恩節到來之際,多多關心身邊的人,哪怕只是問候一句「'你還好嗎?'」
梅根說:「在我們遭受這份痛苦經歷的時刻,我和哈裡發現:每100名婦女中,大約就有10-20名會經歷流產。儘管這樣的痛楚有著驚人的共性,但無情的是,流產常常被當作禁忌話題,甚至成為了恥辱的代名詞,這讓孤獨哀悼的女性們一直生活在這個死循環裡。」 「只有少數人勇敢地分享了她們的故事;她們為自己也為大家打開了一扇門,因為當一個人開始說出真相時,禁忌的封印就將逐漸被打開。」
The Duchess of Sussex has revealed she had a miscarriage in July, writing in an article of feeling "an almost unbearable grief".
蘇塞克斯公爵夫人透露,她在7月份流產了,她在一篇文章中寫道,她感到「難以忍受的悲痛」。
*以下為梅根文章部分節選*
It was a July morning that began as ordinarily as any other day: Make breakfast. Feed the dogs. Take vitamins. Find that missing sock. Pick up the rogue crayon that rolled under the table. Throw my hair in a ponytail before getting my son from his crib.
那是7月的一個早晨,我像往常一樣開始做早飯、餵狗、服用維生素,找不見了的襪子,撿起滾到桌子底下的淘氣蠟筆。把我的頭髮紮成馬尾辮,然後把我兒子從嬰兒床上抱下來。
After changing his diaper, I felt a sharp cramp. I dropped to the floor with him in my arms, humming a lullaby to keep us both calm, the cheerful tune a stark contrast to my sense that something was not right.
給他換尿布後,我感到一陣劇烈的絞痛。我抱著他倒在地板上,哼著搖籃曲,讓我們倆都冷靜下來。這歡快的曲子和我覺得不對勁的感覺形成了鮮明的對比。
I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second.
當我抱著我的第一個孩子時,我知道我失去了第二個孩子
Hours later, I lay in a hospital bed, holding my husband’s hand. I felt the clamminess of his palm and kissed his knuckles, wet from both our tears. Staring at the cold white walls, my eyes glazed over. I tried to imagine how we』d heal.
幾個小時後,我躺在醫院的病床上,握著丈夫的手。我感到他的手心溼漉漉的,吻了吻他的指關節,我們兩個的眼睛都溼潤了。我凝視著冰冷的白牆,目光呆滯,試著想像我們該如何癒合。
I recalled a moment last year when Harry and I were finishing up a long tour in South Africa. I was exhausted. I was breastfeeding our infant son, and I was trying to keep a brave face in the very public eye.
我想起了去年哈裡和我在南非結束長途旅行時的一個時刻。當時我累壞了,我正在母乳餵養我們年幼的兒子,還要試著在公眾面前表現得很勇敢。
「Are you OK?」 a journalist asked me. I answered him honestly, not knowing that what I said would resonate with so many — new moms and older ones, and anyone who had, in their own way, been silently suffering. My off-the-cuff reply seemed to give people permission to speak their truth. But it wasn’t responding honestly that helped me most, it was the question itself.
一個記者問我:「你還好嗎?」我誠實地回答了他,不知道我的話會引起這麼多人的共鳴——新手媽媽和有經驗的媽媽、以及任何以自己的方式默默受苦的人。我未經準備的回答似乎給了很多人說出真相的許可。但對我幫助最大的並不是誠實的回答,而是問題本身。
「Thank you for asking,」 I said. 「Not many people have asked if I’m OK.」
「謝謝你的關心,」我說。「沒有多少人問過我是否還好。」
Sitting in a hospital bed, watching my husband’s heart break as he tried to hold the shattered pieces of mine, I realized that the only way to begin to heal is to first ask, 「Are you OK?」
坐在醫院的病床上,看著丈夫抱著我破碎的心而心碎的樣子。我意識到開始癒合的唯一方法就是先問他一句:「你還好嗎?」
*梅根文章部分節選完*
A source close to the duchess confirmed to the BBC that the duchess is currently in good health and the couple wanted to talk about what happened in July, having come to appreciate how common miscarriage is.
一位與公爵夫人關係密切的消息人士向BBC證實,公爵夫人目前健康狀況良好。而哈裡和梅根夫婦想要談談7月發生的事情,因為他們已經意識到流產是多麼普遍。
A Buckingham Palace spokesman said: "It's a deeply personal matter we would not comment on."
白金漢宮發言人說:「這是非常私人的事情,我們不會發表評論。」
The duchess and Prince Harry, the Duke of Sussex, moved to California to live away from the media spotlight, after stepping back as senior royals in January.
今年1月,梅根和蘇塞克斯公爵哈裡王子(Prince Harry)從高級王室成員的位置上退下來,之後他們搬到了加州,遠離媒體的關注。
Their first child, Archie, was born on 6 May 2019.
他們的第一個孩子阿爾奇(Archie)於2019年5月6日出生。
Meghan made it clear from the first event that she spoke at as Harry's bride-to-be that she wanted women's voices and women's experiences to be heard more clearly.
以哈裡未婚妻身份參加的第一場活動中,梅根就明確表示她希望女性的聲音和女性的經歷能被更清楚地聽到。
Now she has written of her loss, and her heartbreak. She has set it in the context of a year of breathtaking turbulence. And she has made a plea for tolerance and compassion.
現在,她寫下了自己的失去和心碎。她把它放在了這動蕩不安的一年的背景下,呼籲人們要寬容和同情。
The duchess continued: "Losing a child means carrying an almost unbearable grief, experienced by many but talked about by few.
公爵夫人在文章中繼續說道:「失去一個孩子意味著要承受幾乎無法忍受的悲痛,很多人都經歷過,但很少有人談論它。」
"In the pain of our loss, my husband and I discovered that in a room of 100 women, 10 to 20 of them will have suffered from miscarriage."
「在我們失去孩子的痛苦中,我和丈夫發現,在一間有100名婦女的房間裡,有10到20人曾經流產過。」
"Yet despite the staggering commonality of this pain, the conversation remains taboo, riddled with (unwarranted) shame, and perpetuating a cycle of solitary mourning."
「然而,儘管這種痛苦有著驚人的共同之處,但談論它仍然是禁忌,充滿(毫無根據的)羞恥,使這種孤獨的哀痛不斷持續下去。」
"Some have bravely shared their stories; they have opened the door, knowing that when one person speaks truth, it gives license for all of us to do the same."
「有一些人勇敢地分享了自己的故事,他們打開了一扇門,因為他們知道,當一個人說了真話,就給了我們所有人都可以這樣做的許可。」
對英國王室成員來說,公開談論自己的私生活似乎是一種禁忌,他們很少會對外公開自己的私生活,像梅根這樣發文談論流產更是罕見。不少人認為離開了王室的梅根依然很「叛逆」,堅持做自己。也有專家和民眾稱讚梅根的勇敢,她能夠主動公開談論流產,是打破羞恥的重要一步,對於有著相同經歷的家庭來說也是一種鼓勵。
The duchess is the second member of the Royal Family to open up about having a miscarriage. In 2018 the Queen's granddaughter Zara Tindall spoke about suffering two miscarriages before having her second child.
梅根是第二位公開自己流產的王室成員。2018年,女王的外孫女扎拉·廷德爾(Zara Tindall)談到她在生第二個孩子之前經歷過兩次流產。
An estimated one in four pregnancies ends in a miscarriage, according to the charity Tommy's.
根據慈善機構Tommy's估計,大約四分之一的懷孕以流產告終。
Tommy's midwife Sophie King said talking about baby loss in pregnancy is "a real taboo in society" so "mothers like Meghan sharing their stories is a vital step in breaking down that stigma and shame".
Tommy's的助產士Sophie King表示,談論流產似乎是一種「社會禁忌」,所以「像梅根這樣的母親分享她們的故事,是打破這種恥辱和羞恥的重要一步。」
She said the duchess's "honesty and openness" sends a "powerful message to anyone who loses a baby: this may feel incredibly lonely, but you are not alone".
她說,公爵夫人的「誠實和率真」向「所有失去孩子的人發出了一個強有力的信息:這可能會讓你感到無比孤獨,但你並不孤單」。
希望梅根和哈裡能夠從「喪子之痛」中走出來,更希望所有曾有過相似遭遇的媽媽們都能夠順利渡過難關……