Set Ground Rules
建立基本規則
Now that we』ve reviewed what it means to respect each other, you and your roommate should also establish some ground rules. It may sound a little Type-A personality, but it’s really just better to set up what each of your pet peeves are before the year gets rolling. For instance, I really don’t like it when people have phone conversations in the room while I’m studying. I don’t multitask very well, and I』d rather be writing my paper on Roman gladiators than listening to you tell your best friend about your raging weekend. Here is a list of things that you and your roommate should touch on as far as ground rules go:
我們評論了相互尊重意味著什麼，你和室友可能也建立了某些基本規則。這可能聽起來有點A型人格，但是在過起日子前確實弄清你們的小癖好是什麼。比如，我不喜歡別人在我學習時講電話。我不擅長處理多進程任務，我寧願寫一篇羅馬格鬥士的論文而不是聽你向你最好的朋友講述你的憤怒周末。這有一個清單，說明你和室友建立基本規則時所應設計的事情。
Talking on the phone – inside the room, outside the room, on the balcony, in the closet, whatever. Make a compromise, but the tie should go to the person studying.
講電話——室內，室外，陽臺，衣櫃，哪裡都行。學會妥協，但是限制應有學習的人決定。
Smoking – This. Is. So. Important. If you have a balcony, establish if it’s okay for the smoker to smoke on the balcony. Be careful if you agree to smoking on the balcony or you could end up with your roommate’s chain smoking friends living out on your balcony. I don’t think smoking is allowed in any dorm room, but make sure to set your expectations early.
吸菸——這很重要。如果你有陽臺，確定是否可以在陽臺上吸菸。注意，如果你同意陽臺可以吸菸，那麼可能最終你朋友的一串煙友都有可能在你陽臺上安營紮寨。我認為任何一間寢室都不應準許吸菸，但是確保及早設立預期。
Visitors of the intimate kind – This seriously could warrant its own post. If you have someone of special interest with you, you need to remember that the room belongs to two people. Set up a sexile system. Rubber bands on the door work, but everyone in the world knows what that means. Try a post-it note or piece of tape on the door, drawing a shape on the nametags on your door, or some other symbol that will clue in your roommate that they probably do not want to walk into the room. Include a time limit! Really, it shouldn’t be longer than an hour. If you need more time, well, you know, I can’t help you. Compromise with your roommate. If you are the sexilee, be patient. College is an exciting, hormonal time and your roommate will sometimes (or very often) put his/her libido ahead of your convenience. Find comfort in the fact that they』ll have to offer you the same consideration when you get your chance of love. Additionally, check with your roommate if they’re comfortable with your lover spending the night if this proves to be the case. If they’re not, respect their wishes.
親密愛人之類的訪客——嚴肅點，這個問題理應有一席之地。如果有人對你愛欲迸發，記住房間屬於兩個人。建立性愛通知制度。在門上綁上個橡膠帶會起作用，但地球人都知道意思是什麼。試試便利貼或膠帶，在門上名籤畫個身體，或者其他什麼標誌，只要能給你室友暗示，不希望他們進入房間。還要考慮時間限制，不應超過一個小時。如果需要更長時間，好吧，那我幫不了你了。和室友妥協。如果別人做愛你待在外，耐心點。大學生活很精彩，荷爾蒙洶湧，比起你的方便，室友有時(或常常)更多考慮他的力比多。令你安慰的是，當你也有了愛愛的機會，他們會給予你同樣的體諒。此外，和室友確認下，如果你愛人在寢室過夜，他們是否感到不適。如果是的，尊重他們的感受。
Cleaning – Discuss duties for cleaning and whose job it is to do what. Dividing responsibilities of cleaning will make keeping your room cleaner and it will help ease roommate tensions if you both pitch in. Taking out the trash, tidying the room, buying toilet paper, and washing the sink are just a few things to consider.
打掃衛生——商議打掃衛生的職責，明確各自負責的工作。劃分清潔責任會保持房間更整潔，如果雙放都參與進來，緊張關係也會得到緩和。拿走垃圾，打掃房間，購買廁紙，清洗洗手池，都是需要考慮的一些事情。
When All Else Fails…
如果所有都不奏效……
Sometimes, no matter how much you do, your roommate will still drive you crazy. When respecting, cleaning, and ground rules don’t get you where you want in your rooming situation, all is not lost, even if it seems like it. There’s still a certain amount of damage control that you can do.
有時，不管你做了多少，室友仍然讓你抓狂。當尊重，整潔和基本規則都無法讓你得到你想要的寢室狀況，所有的都不管用，即便看起來如此，仍有一些破壞控制措施你可以採用。
Deal with it – There are just some things that you are going to have to get used to when living with another person. Sometimes, you just need to suck it up and deal with it. For the most part, the things that annoy you are minor things that you can put up with for just one year. If you have trouble keeping your annoyances under control, remember this quote from Robert Anton Wilson: 「You are precisely as big as what you love and precisely as small as what you allow to annoy you.」
忍著—和別人同住，總有些事情要適應。有時，接受，忍著。大多數情況下，煩擾你的都是你可以忍受一年的微小事情。如果你控制不了煩躁，記住Robert Anton Wilson的這句話：你所愛之物有多大，你就有多大;你所煩之事有多小，你就有多小。
Talk to your roommate – Sit down and have a conversation with your roommate about the key things that really irritate you about the situation. Maybe he snores. Maybe she keeps the TV on while you do homework. Whatever it is, don’t yell and don’t accuse. Be calm and friendly and simply explain your situation. Focus on the big aspects. If you start nitpicking or start getting mean, the situation will get out of control, nothing will get solved, and you』ll both be angry. Also, if you’re going to talk to your roommate about issues you have with them, you need to be able to take the issues that they might have with you. Be flexible and willing to compromise.
和室友談談。雙方坐下來，針對現狀中激怒你的關鍵所在交流一下。可能他打呼嚕，可能她在你做作業的時候看電視。不管是什麼，不要大吵，不要指責。鎮定點，友好簡潔地闡述你的現狀。從大處著眼。如果你一開始吃毛求疵，小裡小氣，局面將會失控，什麼也解決不了，兩人都感到憤怒。此外，如果你打算和你室友談談他的問題，你要能夠應對他提出的有關於你的問題。要具有彈性，願意妥協。
Talk to your RA – Do not do this before you talk to your roommate. Going above your roommate’s head is inconsiderate. You are big boys and girls now. You can work your problems out by yourselves. However, if you』ve talked to your roommate and something is still really causing a big disagreement between you and you roommate, you might need to get an outside party involved. If the situation really is irreconcilable, there is usually a process that will transfer you to a different room with a different roommate.
告訴導員。在和室友溝通之前，不要走這一步。越過室友是不體諒的行為。你現在長大了。你可以獨力解決你的問題。如果你和室友溝通之後，兩人之間的分歧依然確實很大，這時你需要引入外部第三方了。如果局面不可調和，通常過程如下：你換到另外一間寢室擁有新的室友。
Get out of your room – This is probably the simplest of all solutions. When your roommate is in your room and doing something irritating, just leave the room. Go to the library or a campus computer lab if you need to study. Go to a friend’s room if you just need somewhere else to escape. Getting out of your room is good for you anyways, and some time away from your roommate will help keep tensions from getting too high.
走出房間——或許這是所有方案中最簡單的一招了。要是你室友正在你房間中做什麼讓你生氣的事情，那就離開房間吧。需要學習，就去圖書館或計算機房吧。只是需要找個地方躲避，就去朋友房間吧。離開房間不管如何都是對你好的，並且有些時候遠離室友將有助於避免緊張升級。
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（編輯：何瑩瑩）