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lawyer.—「No more nor you do,」 says my father; 「can’t I put that in
arterwards?」—「Impossible!」 says the lawyer.—「Wery well,」 says
my father, after he』d thought a moment, 「put down Mrs.
Clarke.」—「What Clarke?」 says the lawyer, dipping his pen in the
ink.—「Susan Clarke, Markis o』 Granby, Dorking,」 says my father;
「she』ll have me, if I ask. I des-say—I never said nothing to her, but
she』ll have me, I know.」 The licence was made out, and she did
have him, and what’s more she’s got him now; and I never had any
of the four hundred pound, worse luck. Beg your pardon, sir,』 said
Sam, when he had concluded, 『but wen I gets on this here
grievance, I runs on like a new barrow with the wheel greased.』
Having said which, and having paused for an instant to see
whether he was wanted for anything more, Sam left the room.
『Half-past nine—just the time—off at once;』 said the gentleman,
whom we need hardly introduce as Mr. Jingle.
『Time—for what?』 said the spinster aunt coquettishly.
『Licence, dearest of angels—give notice at the church—call you
mine, to-morrow』—said Mr. Jingle, and he squeezed the spinster
aunt’s hand.
『The licence!』 said Rachael, blushing.
『The licence,』 repeated Mr. Jingle—
『In hurry, post-haste for a licence,
In hurry, ding dong I come back.』
『How you run on,』 said Rachael.
『Run on—nothing to the hours, days, weeks, months, years,
when we’re united—run on—they』ll fly on—bolt—mizzle—steamengine—thousand-horse power—nothing to it.』
『Can’t—can’t we be married before to-morrow morning?』
inquired Rachael. 『Impossible—can’t be—notice at the church—
leave the licence to-day—ceremony come off to-morrow.』
『I am so terrified, lest my brother should discover us!』 said
Rachael.
『Discover—nonsense—too much shaken by the break-down—
besides—extreme caution—gave up the post-chaise—walked on—
took a hackney-coach—came to the Borough—last place in the
world that he』d look in—ha! ha!—capital notion that—very.』
『Don’t be long,』 said the spinster affectionately, as Mr. Jingle
stuck the pinched-up hat on his head.
『Long away from you?—Cruel charmer;』 and Mr. Jingle skipped
playfully up to the spinster aunt, imprinted a chaste kiss upon her
lips, and danced out of the room.
『Dear man!』 said the spinster, as the door closed after him.
『Rum old girl,』 said Mr. Jingle, as he walked down the passage.
It is painful to reflect upon the perfidy of our species; and we
will not, therefore, pursue the thread of Mr. Jingle’s meditations,
as he wended his way to Doctors』 Commons. It will be sufficient
for our purpose to relate, that escaping the snares of the dragons
in white aprons, who guard the entrance to that enchanted region,
he reached the vicar-general’s office in safety and having procured
a highly flattering address on parchment, from the Archbishop of
Canterbury, to his 『trusty and well-beloved Alfred Jingle and
Rachael Wardle, greeting,』 he carefully deposited the mystic
document in his pocket, and retraced his steps in triumph to the
Borough.