當我輕輕往前邁出那一步的時候，我知道身體輕盈的往下掉，臉上掛著微笑，我滿足了。 你的淚光柔弱中帶傷，慘白的月兒彎彎固住過往，夜太漫長凝結成了霜 又一次的哭泣把你從夢中驚醒，我總是一個愛哭的小女孩，你總是說我的淚光柔弱中帶傷，可是你是否知道我是一個對黑暗極度恐懼的人。 那天是初二，天上掛著一輪新月，四下一片漆黑，唯有窗戶裡的燈光庸懶的灑在我的身上。母親披頭散髮的從家中跑出來，當時我被父親趕在院子裡，沒事做，只能仰頭尋找那一顆最亮的星星。 阿婆說，她要去很遠的地方，如果想她了，就抬起頭看天空，找到那顆最亮的星星，阿婆就知道我想她了。她就會回來了。可是我總是尋不到，每次當感覺自己找到是最亮的時候，總是會有另一顆更亮的出現在視線裡，於是再也尋不回阿婆。 看到母親的樣子，我驚呆了，伸手想去抓母親的手，卻被母親狠狠的目光給著實嚇了一跳，手就那樣僵硬的停在半空中。母親回望一眼屋內，眼中噙著淚光，父親從窗戶探出頭來，大吼一聲：「有本事，你一輩子不用回來！」說完只聽「嘭」的一聲窗戶被關上了，燈光也在瞬間熄滅。母親似乎很決絕的走了，我聽到了她那逐漸遠去的堅決的腳步聲。 當我反應過來的時候，身體打了一個冷顫，夜深了，我卻在窗下的石凳上，靜靜的坐了下來。雙腿彎曲，雙腳踩在石凳上，雙臂環膝，將頭埋進自己的懷裡。那一年，我還小，不知道父母之間到底是因為什麼而吵架，只知道自從阿婆離開我之後，他們經常吵架，而且每次都將我趕出來。白天我會去找我的好朋友婷婷，晚上就會坐在這個石凳上。永遠是這樣的一個姿勢。婷婷常說，「依依，你不要老是這個姿勢，給人一種很無助而又拒人於千裡之外的感覺。」我木訥的笑笑，想說什麼，可是嘴角動了動，卻說不出口。白天有她陪著，我已經很滿足了。可是晚上，又有誰陪呢？我只能用這樣的姿勢，讓自己忘記周圍的黑暗，緊緊雙臂，讓自己學會忘記恐懼。但是效果好像不是太明顯，我總是一次比一次恐懼，年紀越大，越害怕黑暗裡獨處。於是總是淚流滿面的在黒暗中大哭起來。 是誰在閣樓上冰冷地絕望，雨輕輕嘆朱紅色的窗，我依身在紙上被風吹亂，夢在遠方化成一縷香，隨風飄散你的模樣 那次與你的相遇，簡直是此生上天與我開的最大的一個玩笑。 對於反覆無常的父親，我只能選擇逃離。儘管我害怕獨處在黒暗中，但是我還是選擇了在黑暗中哭泣。那種無助的在黒暗中的流淚之後，使我可以在白天更加冷酷地面對世人。於是我認可了這種生活的方式。白天打工，晚上哭泣。 已記不清那天是什麼時節，只知道我已經餓了三天三夜，我只想能快點將香菸賣出去一盒。那樣的話，我至少可以買個餅先填一下肚子。天空中好像已經開始飄著雨滴，我卻還在叫賣著。抬頭望一眼城市那個大鐘，似乎分針又走了一圈。天空更加陰沉了。也許就要承接不住雲的重量，大滴的雨水開始下落，瞬間形成了雨簾，像極了夜晚中哭泣的我。就在我收拾東西準備找地方避雨的時候，被亂跑的人群撞倒了。香菸盒散了一地，那些盒子慢慢的變軟，有香菸露了出來，我發瘋似的，撿著這些香菸，嘴裡一面大叫著「不要，不要……」手下一面在雨水中尋找香菸…… 當我再次醒來時，躺在一個四周都是一片白的地方，我以為我上了天堂。婷婷曾說，我阿婆是去了一個叫天堂的地方。那裡只有一種顏色，白色。於是我嘴角上揚，想到終於又可以和阿婆在一起了。想叫阿婆，嗓子卻幹的發不出聲。一雙深隧的眼睛卻出現在我的面前。一手牽著我的手，另一手摸著我的額頭，然後露出陽光的笑容，只聽到一句「終於退燒了。」 原來這裡不是天堂，你的衣服是黑色的。 你小心的照顧著我，我逐漸恢復了。你卻沒有問過我的身世。你說你是紅十字協會的成員，幫助需要幫助的人是你的工作。我什麼也沒有對你說，只是任由你每天無微不至的照顧，有時你會和一個天使一樣的姐姐一起來看我，看你們親暱的樣子，我已猜出幾分你們的關係。你總是把我當成一個小妹妹，我也這樣死心踏地的緾著你。讓你晚上給我講故事才能入睡。那段時間，我總是可以安心的入睡，不在有獨自面對黑暗的時候。 我常常在夢中遇到你，你那陽光般的笑容。婷婷曾說，我需要找一個擁有陽光般笑容的人來照顧我，才可以驅走我對黑暗的恐懼。可是你會是嗎？也許天使姐姐才是你要照顧一輩子的人。而我，你只是當成臨時的小妹妹。 我開始喜歡一個人站在頂屋的陽臺上，抬頭深深的望著遠方，想著何時是自己離開的時候。但每次思緒總是被風吹亂，你總會拿著一件外套，說，「依依，起風了，披上衣服吧。」 我一人在家的日子，總是畫畫，唯獨只畫菊花，一朵又一朵，金黃的菊花。你說菊花是去祭祀死人的時候才要拿的花。而我卻固執的買來許多菊花，擺滿了整個陽臺。就算是祭祀自己的愛情吧，我這樣想著。雖然從未對你說過，我卻越來越不能控制自己的心。常常看著菊花，想著你的樣子，想那陽光的笑容。 菊花燦爛地燒，你的笑容已泛黃，花落人斷腸我心事靜靜躺，被風亂也微搖，你的影子剪不斷，獨留我孤單在湖面神傷 天氣開始變冷，衣服漸漸增多，每次到陽臺上時，總會看到一地的菊花花瓣，我總是一片一片的撿起，將它們壓在畫紙裡。然後拿出我們的唯一的一張合照，你拍著我的頭，我拿著一朵菊花，你掛著陽光的笑容，我卻顯出淡淡的憂傷。細數這些時日你對我的照顧，我也不枉來這人世一遭。想著為了我，你少了很多與天使姐姐的約會，我不禁有點得意，也有點抱歉。 又一次在陽臺上，你輕輕為我披上外套的時候，我反身抱住了你，和你訴說了我對你的細細情思。你的雙手僵硬了。冷風又一次吹來，吹落了最後一片花瓣。我放開了你，蹲身撿起那片花瓣，拿出畫紙，將所有保存的花瓣一起灑向陽臺外，你呆呆的看著我所做的一切。一個回頭，再看一下你的面容，再給你留下唯一一個笑容。 你曾說我總是不笑，其實笑起來會更漂亮。 往前邁一步，笑容永久的留在了臉上，我想我要去尋找我的外婆了，我要去那個只有白色的天堂了。When I gently take that step forward, I know that the body is light to fall down, with a smile on my face, I am satisfied. Your tears are weak and hurt, the pale moon curving to hold the past, the night is too long to condense into frost Another cry wakes you from your dream. I am always a little girl who loves to cry. You always say that my tears are weak and hurt, but do you know that I am a person who is extremely afraid of the dark. That day was the second day of junior high school. There was a new moon in the sky. It was dark all around. Only the light in the window was slothfully sprinkled on me. My mother ran out of the house with hair on her head. At that time, I was driven out of the yard by my father. I had nothing to do but look up for the brightest star. Grandma said that she would go far away. If she missed her, she would look up at the sky and find the brightest star. Grandma would know that I miss her. She'll be back. But I always can't find it. Every time I feel that I find the brightest one, there will always be another brighter one in my sight, so I can't find grandma again. When I saw my mother's appearance, I was shocked. I reached out to grab her hand, but I was really scared by her fierce eyes. My hand was so stiff that it stopped in mid air. The mother looked back at the room with tears in her eyes. The father leaned out of the window and yelled, "you have the ability. You don't have to come back all your life!" With that, just listen to the sound of "bang", the window was closed, and the light went out in an instant. Mother seems to be very determined to go, I heard her gradually away firm footsteps. When I reacted, my body shivered. In the late night, I sat down quietly on the stone bench under the window. Bend your legs, step on the stone stool with your feet, put your arms around your knees, and bury your head in your arms. That year, I was still young. I didn't know what was the reason for the quarrel between my parents. I only knew that since my grandmother left me, they often quarreled and drove me out every time. During the day, I will go to my good friend Tingting, and at night I will sit on this stone bench. It's always like this. Tingting often said, "Yiyi, you should not always be in this position. It gives people a feeling of helplessness and exclusion." I smile, want to say something, but the corner of my mouth moved, but can't say. I'm satisfied with her company during the day. But at night, who will accompany? I can only use this posture, let oneself forget the darkness around, tightly arms, let oneself learn to forget fear. But the effect seems not too obvious, I always fear more and more, the older, the more afraid of being alone in the dark. So I always burst into tears in the dark. Who is in the attic cold despair, rain gently sigh, vermilion window, I rely on the paper was blown by the wind, dream in the distance into a wisp of incense, with the wind scattered your appearance That meeting with you was the biggest joke that God ever made with me in my life. For my fickle father, I had to run away. Although I was afraid of being alone in the dark, I chose to cry in the dark. After the helpless tears in the dark, I can face the world more coldly in the daytime. So I recognized this way of life. Work during the day and cry at night. I can't remember what time it was that day. I only know that I have been hungry for three days and nights. I just want to sell a box of cigarettes as soon as possible. In that case, I can at least buy a cake to fill my stomach first. The sky seems to have begun to float with raindrops, but I am still Hawking. Looking up at the big clock in the city, it seems that the minute hand has gone round again. The sky is more gloomy. Maybe we can't bear the weight of the cloud, big drops of rain began to fall, instantly formed a rain curtain, like me crying at night. Just as I was packing for shelter, I was knocked down by the running crowd. The cigarette boxes were scattered all over the floor. The boxes softened slowly and some cigarettes came out. I was crazy. I picked up these cigarettes and yelled "no, no..." My men are looking for cigarettes in the rain When I woke up again, lying in a white place all around, I thought I was in heaven. Tingting once said that my grandmother went to a place called heaven. There's only one color, white. So the corner of my mouth went up, and I thought that I could finally be with grandma again. I want to call grandma, but my voice is dry. A pair of deep eyes appeared in front of me. One hand holding my hand, the other hand touching my forehead, and then show a sunny smile, only to hear a "finally fever." It turns out that this is not heaven. Your clothes are black. You take care of me carefully, I gradually recovered. You didn't ask me about my life. You say you are a member of the Red Cross. It's your job to help people in need. I didn't say anything to you. I just let you take good care of me every day. Sometimes you will come to see me with an angel like sister to see your intimacy. I have guessed some of your relationship. You always treat me as a little sister, and I'm so determined to be with you. I want you to tell me a story at night to fall asleep. At that time, I can always sleep at ease, not alone in the face of the dark. I often meet you in my dream, your sunny smile. Tingting once said, I need to find a person with a sunny smile to take care of me, in order to drive away my fear of the dark. But would you? Maybe Angel sister is the one you have to take care of all your life. And I, you're just a temporary little sister. I began to like a person standing on the balcony of the roof, looking up at the distance, thinking when it is time to leave. But every time your mind is always disturbed by the wind, you always take a coat and say, "Yiyi, it's windy. Put on your clothes." When I was alone at home, I always painted, only chrysanthemums, one after another, golden chrysanthemums. You said the chrysanthemum is the flower you take when you go to sacrifice to the dead. But I obstinately bought many chrysanthemums and filled the whole balcony. Even if it's sacrificial love, I think so. Although never said to you, I can't control my heart more and more. Often looking at the chrysanthemum, think about your appearance, think about the sunshine smile. The chrysanthemum is burning brightly, your smile has turned yellow, the flowers are heartbroken, my mind is lying quietly, the wind is also slightly shaking, your shadow is constantly cutting, leaving me alone on the lake The weather began to get cold, clothes gradually increased, every time to the balcony, there will always be a chrysanthemum petals, I always pick them up piece by piece, press them in the paper. Then take out our only photo, you pat my head, I hold a chrysanthemum, you are wearing a sunny smile, but I show a touch of sadness. Count these days, you take care of me, I am not in vain to this world. Thinking that for me, you are missing a lot of dating with angel sister, I can't help but feel a little proud and sorry. Once again on the balcony, when you gently put on my coat, I held you in my arms and told you my love for you. Your hands are stiff. The cold wind came again, blowing off the last petal. I let go of you, crouch to pick up the petal, take out the drawing paper, and sprinkle all the preserved petals outside the sunny platform. You stare at what I have done. A look back, and then look at your face, and then leave you the only smile. You used to say that I always don't smile, but it's more beautiful when I smile. Step forward, smile forever in the face, I think I'm going to find my grandmother, I'm going to the white heaven. We are all children from the prairie. Under the same vast open sky, we breathe the fragrance of the green grassland and sing passionate and unrestrained folk songs. In fact, I don't want to say goodbye, just like the mirage in the past, goodbye is never seen again! Once through the sea of people, hand in hand with you, if you also believe in fate, let's continue this period of emotion, even if the hourglass of time flows out of each other's youth, how many years later, when you pick up the yellow photo, looking at the fuzzy handwriting, as long as you remember, I will never forget. Life is short. Time flies by, but the impression on our hearts is gradually clear, enlarged and repeated with the passage of time. That is the most precious thing in life, which we all have. If we never meet in life, I will not appear in your dream. We are constantly rubbing shoulders with strangers, writing different stories at different times and places; If life has not met, there will be no fragment of you in my life. We are all counting our own days, different starting points, different experiences and different endings. In thousands of people met you, no if, no early step, no late step, meet, near perfect. So, I entered your open vision, you decorated my deep dream. Since then, we have the same memories, the same dreams, the same fate that no one can envy.我們都是來自大草原的孩子呵，在同一片遼遠開闊的天空下，呼吸著青青草原的芬芳，吟唱著一曲曲熱情而又奔放的民歌。 其實，不願說再見，一如從前海市蜃樓般的虛幻，再見竟是再也不見！ 曾經穿越人海，與你攜手相牽，如果你也相信緣分，就讓我們用心延續這段情感，即使時間的沙漏流盡彼此的青春，多少年後，當你拿起那張泛黃的相片，看著上面模糊的字跡，只要你還記得，我就不曾忘卻。 流年似水人生短。時光的蝶兒翩躚而過，而劃在我們心上的印痕，卻隨著光陰的推移逐漸清晰澄明，不斷放大，不斷重複，那才是生命裡最最珍貴的東西，我們都曾擁有。 如果人生不曾相遇，你的夢裡就不會有我的出現，我們都在不斷地和陌生人擦肩，不一樣的時間，不一樣的地點，書寫著不一樣的故事； 如果人生不曾相遇，我的生命裡就不會有你的片段，我們都在細數著自己的日子，不一樣的起點，不一樣的經歷，延續著不一樣的結局。 於千萬人中遇見了你，沒有如果，沒有早一步，也沒有晚一步，遇見，近於完美。於是，我闖入了你開闊的視野，你修飾了我幽深的夢境。從此以後，才有了一樣的回憶，一樣的夢想，一樣的任誰也羨慕不來的緣分。T!嫡女貴凰：重生毒妃狠絕色免費 嫡女貴凰：重生毒妃狠絕色全本 嫡女貴凰：重生毒妃狠絕色完整版，嫡女貴凰：重生毒妃狠絕色全文完結