Small talk，在歪果仁的社交場景中十分常見的行為，可以發生在任何場合，任何人之間 (eg. 和同事等電梯時，和朋友在街上偶遇時，撩妹時，拍上級馬屁時)。說白了就是「閒扯」，每個人都會。但我們中果孩紙在和歪果仁進行 small talk 時似乎並沒有我們和華人「閒扯」時那麼容易，所以讓歪果仁們覺得「中國學生滴，社交滴，不擅長思密達」，給我們的 blend in 或多或少造成了一些障礙。本文就給大家分享一些如何與歪果仁進行small talk 的一些基本技巧。
Small talk 不僅僅是信息和想法的交流，也是情緒和氣場的交換 (Exchange of energy). 各種話題僅僅是找人說話的一個藉口，所以並不需要很深入 (deep) 或者有意義 (meaningful). 我們要讓談話氛圍「輕鬆 (relaxe)」,「正能量 (positive)」。
上來先打招呼，直接一點，"Hi, Jen! It's good to see you.」會讓人覺得你非常願意交談。微笑著直視對方，（可以對著鏡子練習下，打招呼時候揚一下眉毛），儘量讓身體正對著對方，避免讓人覺得你是想打發時間 (kill some time). 身體儘量放鬆，不要雙手交叉在胸前，也不要玩弄什麼東西，如果實在不知道放哪，那就揣兜裡吧。說話時候注意語氣語調，歡快點，把情緒表現出來，這就是傳遞energy.
找到你們之間的共同點。不需要你倆都是XX明星的粉絲，或者是老鄉云云，只需要談談最淺顯的，你們共同處於的某種環境，或者都知道的某些信息
「Can you believe all this rain?」（天氣，誰都躲不了）
「Professor Smith's lecture was a bit different than usual, don't you think?」（一起上過的課）
「Did you go to the team-building last week?」(都知道的活動)
「Did you hear that the dining hall caught into a fire yesterday?」 (兩人都知道的地方)
…
如果實在不知道怎麼找共同點，那就誇誇人家吧！
「Hey I never knew you were so fit! You've been working out?」
「That' s a cool shirt! Where' d you get it?」
「Nice tattoo! what does it mean?」
「The bracelet is a beauty! Did you make it?」
「Great speech yesterday! You totally blew my mind!」
不接話，那怎麼叫做 "talk"? 千萬別一個問題回答完了立即換個不相關的話題，那是查戶口。仔細聽對方說的話，從中搜索信息，能幫助你尋找新的共同點或者其他你能問或者發表評論的點，順著說下去。
對方「Well, I usually hate the rain, but hey, it saves the carwash money, right?」
你「Ha-ha, you really know how to save money! I appreciate that, but I still go to car wash cause I like to put wax on the car so it's shiny.」
對方「I couldn't make it to the team-building, had to take my cat to the vet.」
你「Really? What happened to your cat, is she alright?」
對方「Thanks for saying that, but I never work out to keep my shape.」
你「Come on. You look like an athlete, or you must be on some sort of diet, right?」
下面是整段對話，看看別人是怎麼找信息接話茬的:
你: "I actually met Ashley on a Spring Break trip. We all went to Mexico with a bunch of friends."
對方: "I remember her telling me about the trip! I was actually helping her improve her Spanish for it, but I doubt she really used it much -- unless you count the phrase piña colada."
你: "You speak Spanish? That's awesome. You could have helped me prepare for my study abroad trip to Madrid. My Spanish was okay by the end, but I could have used some help!"
對方: "I love Madrid. My grandmother actually still lives there, so I visit her almost every summer. She takes me to the Prado every Sunday."
你: "Madrid is like my favorite city! The El Grecos in the Prado are to die for."
對方: "You like the El Grecos? I'm more of a Goya fan."
你: "Oh, really? You know, there's actually a new movie about Goya coming out next week-- I think Ethan Hawke's in it! Want to go?"
對方: "Of course!"
...
我們要和人建立聯繫，當然要讓別人知道自己是個怎樣的人。針對話題發表自己的看法和故事，能消除陌生感，讓對方覺得自己是個自信（鬼老十分看重這一點）、有想法的人。當然，還要記住2條原則：保持話題輕鬆愉快；不要涉及過於私人的信息，交淺莫言深。
「I actually go there every weekend. How come I never saw you there?」
「About that, I gotta say blablabla…」
「The rain is just awful. I’m training for a marathon and had to do my long runs on the treadmill—it' s the worst.」
「Man, I got history in this place. I made my first friends in US here.」
「I don't know much about your business, but it sounds like it's got potential.」
還不太會small talk的小夥伴們，有可能會把話題說盡，所以有機會的話可以把其他人也拉進你們的對話，相當於與另一個人再進行small talk。而且人多的話會有更多的信息，也能幫助你找其他話題。如果拉進來的是個「侃神」，也許能主導一些話題，給你分擔壓力。
「How about you? Are you also in the education business?」
「You've been quiet, are you not in our business?」
「How about you? Has the rain kept you from doing anything fun this week?」
「You two make a cute couple, how long have you been together?」
「Let me guess. You are a point guard, and your friend here must be a good center or power forward to make a team.」(籃球術語)
可以邀約，開個玩笑，留電話（撩妹技），或者直接告別.
「sorry, I gotta go. Nice talking to you.」
「Maybe we can ball together sometime. You guys playing this weekend?」
「The stuff you said sounds interesting. You got time for lunch? We can eat together and you can tell me more about it.」
「I'll catch up with you later. Don't you tell Linda I said that, or I'll kick your ass!」
「Go try that at home. Remember to carry a fire extinguisher just in case you burn your house!」
關於搭訕撩妹的電影《全民情敵》