高考英語讀後續寫——以金海一高三期中卷為例。讀後續寫,讀與寫地位同等重要。在某些題目中,讀的分量更甚——你讀都讀歪了,再怎麼寫也是反向做功啊。
下面,我們一塊一塊來【讀】這篇續寫的原文。#奇速英語時文閱讀#
(1)A friend of mine named Paul received an automobile car from his brother as a Christmas present.
【應讀出信息1】主人公之一Paul是本文作者的朋友,因此,本文所講的故事一定是Paul講給作者聽的,因此,故事應當全部發生在Paul的視野中。例如主人公之二小男孩Jack如果進入自己家的房子,而Paul待在外面,那麼房子裡發生的故事按理說Paul是不知道的,就不適合寫出來(除非小男孩後來告訴了Paul,但這樣顯然導致劇情無意義複雜化)。
【應讀出信息2】Paul的哥哥送了Paul一輛汽車作為聖誕禮物。
【不應讀出的信息1】Paul是個富二代!啃兄族!
【不應讀出的信息2】automobile car?automobile啥意思來著?學過的(英語老師:我在黑板的這個地方寫過!),想不起來了,那肯定是一種非常神奇的自動駕駛汽車吧(大霧)……
(2)On Christmas Eve when Paul came out of his office, a little boy, named Jack, was walking around the shiny new car, admiring it. "Is this your car, Mister?" he asked.
【應讀出信息1】故事時間背景:Christmas Eve 聖誕前夜,可以包括白天,但英美文化中聖誕夜的故事往往更多發生在夜色中,聖誕樹華彩亮燈的那種(參考小鬼當家某一部兒子和媽媽團聚在聖誕樹下的那一幕);此外,看來Paul剛下班,所以最合理的時間設置,應當是從下午開始。
【應讀出信息2】Jack是一個little boy,但這個little boy是相對Paul或者作者這些成年人來說的,完全可以是十一二歲,且獨自一人在外閒逛,有一定的自理能力,不可能低於5歲。有的學生從自己角度出發,認為Paul只能是3歲小屁孩那種,從而導致他們認定後文主人公之三Paul的弟弟一定是個小嬰兒。
【應讀出信息3】車很shiny。
【不應讀出的信息1】Jack是個不良少年,在人家新車旁邊轉悠,怕不是想劃車或者偷車吧!
【不應讀出的信息2】Jack不禮貌,讓Paul很不快。有的學生從自己家長的言行出發,如果看到自家停的車周圍有人晃悠,肯定很警覺地趕走他。(事實上從"Mister"這個稱謂看來,他還是很禮貌的;且請記住,聖誕溫情小故事裡,怎麼可能出現負能量的壞孩子!(壞孩子改過自新倒是有可能))
(3)Paul nodded. "My brother gave it to me for Christmas." Jack was surprised. "You mean your brother gave it to you and it didn't cost you anything? Boy, I wish..."He hesitated.
【應讀出信息】根據hesitate一詞,可見Jack欲言又止。欲言又止,必有隱情。
【不應讀出的信息】有的學生去關注 it didn't cost you anything,又把主題偏離到譴責Paul不勞而獲上去了。但根據後文可知這根本不是重點。
(4)Of course, Paul knew what he was going to wish for. He was going to wish he had a brother like that. But what Jack said jarred(使感到不快) Paul all the way down to his heels.
"I wish," Jack went on, "that I could be a brother like your brother!"
【應讀出信息】 Paul本以為Jack只是羨慕他有個能送車的哥,結果Jack是希望自己成為這樣一個能實力寵弟的好哥哥。至此,已經可以斷定:Jack有一個弟弟,他十分寵愛自己的弟弟,想為他傾盡全力。同時可以肯定:Jack是一個非常正面的角色,他的性格優點包括:________________(讀者可以先自己思考)
包括:禮貌;成熟;愛自己的弟弟;懂得愛應當是奉獻、給予而不是索取。
此處,全文的主旨呼之欲出。
【不應讀出的信息】原題中標註的中文 "使感到不快"可以說幹擾了一群閱讀理解能力弱的學生。他們僅憑這一個中文翻譯,就斷定Jack說的話"討人厭",Paul對他的態度是"不耐煩",在第一段寫作中,這部分學生還花了不少筆墨去寫Paul的不耐煩、質疑等等。難道你們體會不到Jack隨後的那句話是有多麼的感人嗎!?現在請思考並回答:為什麼Paul會有 jarred all the way down to his heels的感覺?
答案:Because Paul was ashamed by Jack's words! He never thought such a little boy would understand love better than him.
(5)Paul looked at him in astonishment, then impulsively he added, "Would you like to take a ride in my automobile?"
"Oh yes, I'd love that."
【應讀出信息】是Paul主動邀請Jack兜風的,不是Jack要求的。說明Paul被男孩深深感動,他決定在這個聖誕節,他要為這個小男孩做一件好事。是的,很顯然,小男孩很喜歡他的車。但帶他兜風的動機,絕對不是"對小男孩欲望的滿足",而是被小男孩的善良激發出的善意!impulsively一詞很妙,Paul那一瞬間衝動爆發出的是什麼?是善意!
【不應讀出的信息】竟然有學生把take a ride理解成讓Jack來開車……
(6)After a short ride, Jack turned and with his eyes aglow, said, "Mister, would you mind driving in front of my house?"
"Will you stop where those two steps are?" Jack asked.
【應讀出信息1】兜風沒有多久Jack就請求送他回家了,多麼懂事的男孩,沒有要求Paul帶他逛遍全城。
【應讀出信息2】"Jack turned and with his eyes aglow" Jack轉過身來,眼睛閃閃發亮。眼睛為什麼會發亮呢?一定是想到了什麼,很可能是一個主意,八成跟他自己的弟弟有關。
【應讀出信息3】中間過程被省略,此刻他們已經開車來到了Jack家門口。
【不應讀出的信息】有的學生過度關注two steps,兩層臺階?沒見過住在兩層臺階的,必有玄妙!(大霧) 實際上,這只不過是很常見的house前面的臺階,並且可見Jack家不至於窮到家徒四壁,畢竟還是有臺階的house!
段1段首句:Jack ran up the steps.
段2段首句:Paul got out and lifted Jack's brother to the front seat of his car.
【應讀出信息1】最後Paul又做了一件好事,就是讓Jack的弟弟坐進了他的車裡。
【應讀出信息2】Jack的弟弟不可能是嬰幼兒,因為嬰幼兒不可以放在車的前座,而應當使用安全座椅,放在車的後座。
【應讀出信息3】第一段一定是經過了一個過程,讓Paul決定讓Jack的弟弟坐進車裡。一定可以推斷出的就是,Jack的弟弟非常喜歡這輛車。
【應讀出信息4】第二段Paul讓Jack的弟弟坐進車裡,是帶他們兄弟倆再兜風呢?還是就讓Jack弟弟好好摸摸感受一把豪車呢?其實都是可以接受的,陳老師認為前者好寫啊!兜風時的街景、心情描寫可以寫出花來啊!但年級裡也有寫後者拿到20分的!可見其語言實力!
【應讀出信息5】這裡最具爭議的點來了:這個動詞lift! 能否根據lift一詞推斷出,Jack的弟弟是有殘疾的呢?陳老師認為應當這樣看待:
1. 如果僅從lift一詞,確實並不能保證孩子是殘疾的,因為有可能就是Paul的暖心之舉。
2. 但是考慮到命題人把這一句作為段首句,你看第一段段首句就那麼短,第二段段首句卻這麼長。這個lift一詞會不會是命題人特別關注的點呢?作為考生,我們必須思考這個問題。而答案幾乎一定是:是的。而如果孩子是正常的,lift一詞就不如invite/lead這些詞更加自然合理了。
3. 再考慮一下全文的體裁,是一個典型的聖誕暖心小故事。陳老師曾經在課上講過,英美聖誕小故事,無論是電影、劇集還是書籍中,都偏好宣揚施捨、給予、互助、無私的愛等價值觀,這與Santa Claus的傳說不無關係。而前面的鋪墊中,Jack的成熟、欲言又止,顯然都在暗示,他的家庭與一般人有所不同。窮苦人家的孩子早當家,如果設置他的弟弟是殘疾的,Jack的一切言行都解釋通了;聖誕故事偏好富人幫助窮人、人間真情在的設定也成全了。
4. 設置Jack的弟弟殘疾,不是殘忍,與平時寫作中把主角寫死這種惡劣行為有本質的區別。因為這裡暗示足夠充分,並且設置殘疾可以讓故事更加順暢進行,為什麼不去選擇這一條路呢?為什麼要和命題人、閱卷人、分數對抗呢?這是不明智的。
最後附上陳老師的下水作文。陳老師詞彙量捉雞,真的不擅長好詞好句,就請同學們看個大概思路。另外有點超字數,這個大家也不要學習,僅供參考!
Jack ran up the steps. A dim glow pierced through the crack of the opening door. Stumbling out was a small figure, almost flying to throw its arms around Jack's neck. It turned out to be Jack's younger brother, wearing braces(支架) on both of his legs. "Brother, meet the nice man who gave me a ride. You like his car?" As they were to go back in, Paul noticed the younger one, quite rooted to the spot, staring at his car with even more admiration than his brother. "I promise one day I will buy you one like that, brother," Jack was a bit embarrassed, "and I will be your driver. Now let's go. Thank you, Mister." He bowed to Paul. "Wait!"Paul blurted out, "Come, let me take both of you for a ride. It's Christmas."
Paul got out and lifted Jack's brother to the front seat of his car. Gently fixing the seatbelt for him, he stepped on the gas. "Here we go!" The engine roaring, the shiny color of the car zoomed into a flash, the street neon lights and glittering Christmas decorations all blurring into a jubilant rainbow. The honking vehicles, the bustling crowds, and the tempting scents from the bakery, were all imprinted on the boys' mind. "Thank you, Mister." The younger brother shyly exclaimed. "Thank your brother. It was his sweetness that reminded me of the value of giving. He earned this ride for you. Merry Christmas."