我剛寫了五分鐘作業，手機吃醋了，我哄了它兩小時。
I just wrote my homework for five minutes. My mobile phone was jealous. I coaxed it for two hours.
我剛準備墜入愛河，可河神對我說，不要再往河裡丟垃圾了。
I was just about to fall in love, but the river god said to me, don't litter the river any more.
我有個朋友16還沒沒來大姨媽，結果我朋友去醫院檢查了，醫生說男生不來大姨媽。
I have a friend 16 has not come to aunt, as a result, my friend went to the hospital for examination, the doctor said that boys do not come to aunt.
我一直以為聾啞人是不會吵架的。直到那天我去吃火鍋。兩個聾啞人在吵架，那手語打的，比火影忍者結印還快。
I always thought that deaf people would not quarrel. Until that day I went to eat hot pot. Two deaf and dumb people are quarreling. The sign language is faster than Naruto's printing.
只要我足夠沙雕，就不會有煩惱。
As long as I have enough sand sculptures, I won't have any worries.
我問風扇我醜不醜，結果他搖了一晚上的頭。
I asked the fan if I was ugly, and he shook his head all night.
睡前聽到隔壁一對情侶吵架，男的說：你再吼我就去隔壁睡。幸福來得這麼突然的嗎？
Before going to bed, I heard a couple quarrel next door. The man said, "if you yell again, I'll go to sleep next door.". Is happiness so sudden?
人生苦短，我特麼怎麼這麼懶。
Life is short. Why am I so lazy.
別人都是承受了這個年紀不該有的壓力，而我是承受了這個年紀不該有的食量。
Other people are under the pressure of this age should not have, but I am bearing the food that this age should not have.
如果你不開心就給我打電話，我會掛掉讓你更不開心。
If you are not happy, call me, I will hang up and make you more unhappy.
我家老鼠生病了，我給它餵了老鼠藥，希望它早點好起來。
My mouse is sick, I gave it rat medicine, I hope he gets better soon.
懟人必備的超A句子，不帶髒字，讓人啞口無言
寫給對象的暖心情話，甜蜜撩人，男女必備