哎，像我們單身神仙跟凡人談戀愛，是要觸犯天條的！
Ah, it's against the rules for us to fall in love with mortals!
這麼多年，我就想問問，餐廳裡的情侶套餐是到底是什麼味兒！有人願意跟我一起去吃嗎？
For so many years, I want to ask, what is the taste of the couple set meal in the restaurant! Would anyone like to eat with me?
當你問我單身幾年了？ 就感覺你好像是在問我的年齡一樣尷尬。
How many years have I been single? It feels like you're asking my age.
如果說女人如衣服，想不到，我已經裸奔二十幾年了！
If women are like clothes, unexpectedly, I have been naked for more than 20 years!
人生啊，別人吃的叫山珍海味，而我天天吃都是別人投遞的狗糧！
Life, what others eat is called delicacies, but I eat dog food delivered by others every day!
單身也有單身的理由，如若找不到心儀的傘，就只能冒雨前行。
There are also reasons for being single. If you can't find your favorite umbrella, you can only go ahead in the rain.
別問我感情上的建議，我是單身狗，只建議分手。
Don't ask me for emotional advice. I'm a single dog. I only suggest breaking up.
這麼多年，我都還沒找到自己，你叫我如何去找另一半？
I haven't found myself for so many years. How do you want me to find my partner?
麻煩幫我轉告訴桃花，讓它不必開了，我要自己去種花海了。
Please help me to tell the peach blossom, so that it does not have to open, I go to plant the sea of flowers.
一般長得好看的人都是單身的，例如我。
Generally good-looking people are single, such as me.
奶茶半價找不到人一起喝？一人喝兩杯奶茶難道不香嗎？
Half price milk tea, no one to drink with? Isn't it fragrant to drink two cups of milk tea for one person?
我等的另一隻狗，他在多遠的未來！
I wait for the dog, how far he is in the future!
秀恩愛的不要太過分了，我們單身狗也是有脾氣的。
Show love don't go too far, we single dog also have temper.
常年單身的我，是不是需要反思一下對性別的要求太苛刻了？
I am single all the year round. Do I need to reflect on the harsh requirements on gender?
（圖片和素材源自網絡，侵權聯刪）