We sat down with some of planet earth’s most prominent machines and digital characters to ask the hard-hitting questions. We wanted to know what makes them tick, what they think about and where they’re going.
帶著幾個頗有份量的問題，我們採訪了目前這個星球上最重要的機器裝置和數碼角色。是什麼造就了他們今天的成功？他們在想些什麼，接下來又有什麼打算？讓我們聽聽他們怎麼說。
"The Holy Order of the New Earth Resistance"
Q - How did becoming famous affect you?
Donkey Kong: All I』ve ever wanted to do in this world was to keep the princess by my side and destroy anyone who tries taking her away… especially that little Italian cock-sucker who keeps having a go at me. Once I became famous I started thinking more in terms of, like, hey, there are other women out there. Suddenly I realized that the prison for the princess was, in many ways, a high-walled prison for myself.
Pac-Man: I thought once I became a famous figure and pop cultural icon that my incessant need to consume little beans would sort of fade away, that I』d have time for other things in my life… good golly was I wrong about that. The more popular I became, the more beans I needed. There were days when I easily ate several million of them. With an increased need for those delectable little beans though, came increased risk. I suddenly found myself roaming to further and more dangerous places than I ever imagined I』d have to.
A tattoo gun: I’m suddenly in a lot of really odd places doing an absorbent amount of really bad work. It’s nice to feel needed, but also a bit embarrassing if I’m being honest. I mean how many lower-back butterflies am I really going to have to do before I’m worn down to nothing?
Mario: It was great but it was like wow, ya know, everybody knows me now, that’s it. I can’t take a stroll downa tha block without someone sayin 「It’s meeeee.」 It gets old fasta, ya know? I thinka tha fame is overrated, ah?
Xerox Machine: I feel so much more used than I ever remember feeling before. I’m also the target for a pretty unnecessary amount of anger and frustration, I mean why kick me just because you can’t put a god damned cartridge in correctly? And also suddenly I’m getting more ass than ever before.
Smartphone: I began being touched a lot more. Swiped, dragged, pressed and wiped. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like to be held and to feel important… but there’s a limit to what I’m comfortable with.
"Search History" (尋找歷史)
41(W)×41(H)×5(D) cm
Q：出名對你有何影響？
大金剛（強壯而惹人喜愛！馬裡奧的宿敵！）: 過去我一直認為，我存在的使命就是保護我的公主，讓她好好呆在我身邊，任何想要把她從我身邊偷走的人，我都一定要把他摧毀。特別是那個義大利的小矮子，不斷挑釁我。不過自從我出名了，我就不再這麼一根筋了，有時會想，天涯何處無芳草，何必單戀一枝花呢？突然也意識到，公主或許某種意義上是囚禁我靈魂的牢籠。
吃豆子的人：以前我想，一旦我成為了家喻戶曉的明星，我對豆子的渴望應該會漸漸減少吧，因為這樣我就可以有時間去了解其他有趣的事兒了...但是並沒有，我越紅，反而對豆子越發迷戀。那些日子，輕輕鬆鬆，我就能吃到數百萬顆豆子。隨著對這些美味小傢伙們的渴望日漸膨脹，我也越發失控。發現只有危險刺激的地方，才能讓我抑制不住地激動，過去的那些想法，也沒那麼重要了。
紋身槍：突然我就置身於很多奇怪的地方，做著一些糟糕的活兒。雖然被人需要是件挺驕傲的事，但實話說，還是有那麼點兒尷尬。我說，在被消磨殆盡前，到底還得紋多少只後背那兒的蝴蝶阿？
馬裡奧：是棒極了，怎麼說，每個人都認識我，不過也就這樣吧。每次我下樓遛彎，都有人指著我尖叫。這難道不土嗎？不覺得有點過了，哈？
複印機：除了被用，還是被用。甚至我就變成了情緒垃圾桶，憑什麼TM的你沒放好墨盒就踢我阿？我也是被折騰的越來越愚蠢了。
智慧型手機：就這樣被摸來摸去。被揣，被壓，被擦，被摔...我也不是說這樣不好，誰不想被重視呢，但是也得有個限度吧，也不管人家受得了受不了。
"Irrefutable Right to Dream" (自由造夢)
48(W)×67(H)×5(D) cm
Q - What kind of problems do you have that the average person might not be aware of?
Electronic Cigarette/ Vape machine: I hang out with losers all day. I remember thinking like wow, I’m getting popular, this is cool. Slowly though it started sinking in that this wasn’t the best crowd to be tied to. Too late.
Donkey Kong: I’m sure many people can relate to a lot of my problems. My anger, though, is off the charts. It takes everything I have to keep it at bay. All night and day I dream of smashing wooden barrels onto the heads of tiny Italian men. I fantasize about how they』ll explode on impact and rip apart the little whop. These fantasies are deep and dark, and I doubt that many people share the burden I have of living with myself, knowing I’m a racist and homicidal maniac.
A sewing machine: Bangladesh gets hottt!
Pac-Man: People know about the massive quantity of small beans I go through. What they don’t usually consider is that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. What goes up must come down and all of that, so as you can imagine, I shit out a lot of beans.
A tattoo gun: I have a lot of problems with people who don’t know how to use me using me on people who have too much money and awful ideas.
Mario: I don’t think people really seea the toll itsa taken on me, never being able to finda the princess. So many close calls ah? Every time I think I’m in the perfecta spot, sure she’s there, ah and ata the last minute, poof, always some strange way she disappears.
A predator drone: Sometimes I have a hard time distinguishing between a playground and a military compound. Meh.
Smartphone: I doubt that too many other people have the issue of constantly being dropped, cracked, sat on, and abused by teenage girls. Maybe small dogs have that problem actually.
Q：可以談談作為名人的煩惱麼？
電子菸：我每天都得面對各種失敗者。剛開始的時候，覺得挺拉風的，後來慢慢就墮落了，不得不跟他們混在一起...一切太遲。
大金剛：我覺得肯定不止我一個人這樣。得收斂自己的暴脾氣，做什麼都得小心翼翼的。我是多麼想操起大木桶就砸在那個義大利小矮子的頭上，幻想著他頭破血流，四分五裂的情景。我懷疑一定有許多人知道這些我壓抑的陰暗面——一個種族主義的，殺氣騰騰的瘋子。
縫紉機：孟加拉可真熱！
吃豆子的人：大家只知道我和成千上萬的豆子打交道。但是你們有沒有想過，任何行為都是作用力和反作用力的結合，有起就有落，有進就有出，所以你該知道我得拉出多少豆子。
紋身槍：那些不知道該怎麼用我的人，最讓我頭痛，他們總把我用在那些人傻錢多的人身上。
馬裡奧：大家都不知道我背後付出了多少，總也找不著公主，每次都差那麼一點點。每當我想，這次應該完美收場了吧，她一定在那兒了。結果總是在最後一分鐘，莫名其妙地，她就沒了。
捕食者無人機 ：有時真的是很難區分操場和基地的停機坪阿。
智慧型手機：是不是有太多人在小姑娘的問題上栽跟頭了？看著跟發情期的小狗一樣一樣的。
"Wet Weapons" (溼武器)
67(W)×48(H)×5.5(D) cm
Q -What keeps you up at night?
Sonic: The idea that I could spend all day collecting rings and then like, dammit, they’re all gone in a split second.
Refrigerator: Fatties
A Washing Machine: Your mom
Donkey Kong: The thought that one of these days I』ll turn around and the princess will be gone. What scares me even more is that, if and when that day comes, I might not even be that distressed about it. It might even make me sleep better if she weren’t around anymore. When I lie awake I often think of what it would feel like to watch that little Italian shit pick her up and take her away. I think I would enjoy it even more than they would.
Microwave: Fatties
Pac-Man: If I’m being perfectly honest with you, sometimes I feel like… I don’t know why I need these little beans so much. It just became what I do, part of my identity. I think there’s a sort of existential dread I feel about that thought, it’s like, if I don’t do that then what do I do? Who even am I?
Mario: I lie awake in my bed at night ah, and I think maybe the next castle I』ll find the princess, maybe ah? But also maybe not ah.
Smartphone: It’s not what, but who: perverts, drunks with bad intentions, and insomniacs.
Q：會因為什麼失眠？
刺蝟索尼克：只要一想到，我花了一老天去搜集的光環，突然沒了...就睡不著了。
冰箱：變胖。
洗衣機：你媽。
大金剛：一想到某天我一轉身公主不見了就會。讓我更抓狂的是，如果真到那時候，我要是也並不那麼在意了，該怎麼辦?可能她不在身邊了，說不定我會睡得更踏實。躺在床上的時候，我常想，看著那個義大利小矮子帶她走時，我會是什麼心情。可能我比他倆還高興。
微波爐： 變胖。
吃豆子的人：如果要我坦白說....我不明白為什麼我那麼需要這些小豆子。它們就這樣成為了我命運的一部分，成為了必須。很害怕它變成了我的某種生存恐懼，就像是，如果我不再吃豆子，我該做什麼？我又會是誰？
馬裡奧：我嘛，躺在床上時就想，下一個城堡，我會不會找到公主呢？會，也可能不會。
智慧型手機：我失眠不是因為事，而是因為人，比如變態，不懷好意的酒鬼，還有一些失眠症患者。
Q：雖然已經處於事業巔峰期，還有什麼其他想實現的目標和夢想麼？
大金剛：我還想做電商創創業吧，再來點大骨頭和烈酒，然後在舊金山找些得力的助手和一套便宜的公寓。
吃豆子的人：我知道這樣有些不太好，但我就只有這麼一個小小願望，希望每一天我都能盡情的抓豆子，就這樣我就很滿足，豆多豆少都無所謂。
印表機：升級。然後儘可能增加點使用困難度，軟體卡殼阿，接觸不良阿，或者油墨不暢阿，想想就很開心。
智慧型手機：我希望能做點更正經的事，而不是整天被人們拿著自拍。要知道我的配置可是很強大的，連阿波羅11號的電腦都沒我厲害。如果他們少花點時間在那些自己都不會多看兩眼的照片上，我都能執行登月計劃了。
跑步機：拜託，誰能再用用我！
Q - Has dating become easier or more difficult since you became famous? How?
Donkey Kong: I don’t date. I fuck.
Mario: Everybady knows me ah. I can get a lot of girls, any girl I want ah. But there’s only one for me ah. And I’m starting to thing maybe she’s been seeing my brother.
Space Invader Alien: N/A we are asexual and reproduce by pressing a small button.
Smartphone: It’s easier than ever! There’s the OK Cupid app, Match, eHarmony, SpeedDate, HowAboutWe, Tinder, POF, DuoDater, Tantan, MOMO, Skout, Liuliu, 2RedBeans, JDate, Twoo, Flavor Connect, ChristianMingle, Singlesnet, Badoo, Zoosk, Meezoog, Kizmeet, Grindr, Hornet, Her, Scruff, GuySpy, Mister X, GROWLr.
Q：成為名人後，約會是變得容易了，還是困難了？一般你們都是怎麼約會的？
大金剛：我從不約會，就一個字「幹」。
馬裡奧： 每個人都認識我，哈，我想約誰約誰，哈。不過我只對一個妞情有獨鍾，哈。就是我一直懷疑，她是不是也看上了我哥。
外星人入侵者：人類那一套對我們不適用，我們有特定的性和生育按鈕，一鍵搞定。
智慧型手機：比原來容易多了！你看，陌陌，珍愛網，OK Cupid app, Match, eHarmony, SpeedDate, HowAboutWe, Tinder, POF, DuoDater, Tantan, MOMO, Skout, Liuliu, 探探2RedBeans, JDate, Twoo, Flavor Connect, ChristianMingle, Singlesnet, Badoo, Zoosk, Meezoog, Kizmeet, Grindr, Hornet,世紀佳緣，Her, Scruff, GuySpy, Mister X, GROWLr...
Q - If you had to do it all again, what (if anything) would you change?
Donkey Kong: I would』ve used something besides barrels. I mean they get the job done, but, wow, are they heavy and inefficient.
A Vending Machine: I would』ve had waaaayyyy less healthy options available inside me, all they ever did was rot and take up space.
Pac Man: Probably not much. I think, if anything, I would』ve spent more time asking myself why am I eating so many of these delicious beans instead of only worrying about how to get more.
Mario: There were definitely times where I thought, ayyy man, I should not have jumped over that lava pit just at dat ah moment, I should』ve waited just another lil bit or two because ah that flaming ball was coming right at me and it just totally nailed me.
Smartphone: I would』ve had those little Asian children at the factory spend a little more time with me – to put me together a little more carefully. There are times when I feel fragile, rushed, and discombobulated.
Q ：如果給你重新來過的機會，你會做出哪些改變？
大金剛：我肯定不會再用木桶了。沒辦法，他們已經設定了，真是又重又沒效率。
自動售貨機：如果能有辦法設置少一點垃圾選項就好了，它們佔著空間，時間久了，爛了也沒人管。
吃豆子的人：也沒什麼可後悔的吧。要重來的話，我可能會花更多的時間，問問自己，為什麼一直吃著這麼多美味的豆子，而不操心想想怎麼才能得到更多。
馬裡奧： 太多次了，我就不應該那時候跳過那個坑，應該再等等，等蘑菇再多來一兩個，主要是火球也剛好彈過來把我給難住了。
智慧型手機：如果能讓那些工廠裡的亞洲小孩兒多花點時間和我在一起就好了，組裝我的時候再仔細一點點。常常我會感覺自己是那麼脆弱，魯莽，混亂不堪。
"Noise Among the Midnight Green" (午夜深綠的喧囂)
67(W)×48(H)×5.5(D) cm
The idea behind these questions and answers was to show that even the simplest of objects can have stories that transcend their simple shape or size. Video games represent this relatively well. The idea of a video game character sometimes (as is the case with Pac Man and Mario, just to name a couple) transcends the simple square in which they live, the box, so to speak. Does that mean anything to you or me in our daily lives? The way we live and act, the way we treat one another or the way we empathize? Probably not… but maybe. Maybe the dreams we see in the little machines are the dreams we have ourselves. Perhaps the only way to know for sure is to have a look, and think it over (with a stiff drink of course).
正如我們看到的這些回答，哪怕是最簡單的物件，都不只是冰冷的軀殼，他們也都有自己的故事。尤其是電玩遊戲裡面的角色（就像被採訪的馬裡奧和吃豆子的人，除了他們還有很多），意義不僅僅只停留在它們所存在的磁卡裡。也同樣讓我們質疑自己，我們所扮演的生活，對待他人的方式，不斷強調的事...這些對我們來說真的意味著一切麼？或許不是，或許也是。或許我們在這些小裝置上看到的狂想，也就是存在於我們自己心裡的枷鎖。不過只有你親眼看一看，想一想，才有答案（別忘了來一杯烈酒）。
「Machine Dreams」 invitation 《機器狂想》新展開幕邀請
island6@SCOPE NY 2016 六島紐約行第二站
Opening night for TEN 六島十周年開幕夜回顧
Address:
ShGarden
50 Moganshan Rd, Bld 7, GF(#109), Shanghai
地址：
六島花園
上海市莫幹山路50號7號樓109室
Tel/電話:
+86-2162277856
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