The Ingenious Patriot故事

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The Ingenious Patriot故事

2012-02-29 14:15

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The Ingenious Patriot故事
    HAVING obtained an audience of the King an Ingenious Patriot pulled
    a paper from his pocket, saying:
    "May it please your Majesty, I have here a formula for constructing
    armour-plating which no gun can pierce.  If these plates are
    adopted in the Royal Navy our warships will be invulnerable, and
    therefore invincible.  Here, also, are reports of your Majesty's
    Ministers, attesting the value of the invention.  I will part with
    my right in it for a million tumtums."
    After examining the papers, the King put them away and promised him
    an order on the Lord High Treasurer of the Extortion Department for
    a million tumtums.
    "And here," said the Ingenious Patriot, pulling another paper from
    another pocket, "are the working plans of a gun that I have
    invented, which will pierce that armour.  Your Majesty's Royal
    Brother, the Emperor of Bang, is anxious to purchase it, but
    loyalty to your Majesty's throne and person constrains me to offer
    it first to your Majesty.  The price is one million tumtums."
    Having received the promise of another check, he thrust his hand
    into still another pocket, remarking:
    "The price of the irresistible gun would have been much greater,
    your Majesty, but for the fact that its missiles can be so
    effectively averted by my peculiar method of treating the armour
    plates with a new- "
    The King signed to the Great Head Factotum to approach.
    "Search this man," he said, "and report how many pockets he has."
    "Forty-three, Sire," said the Great Head Factotum, completing the
    scrutiny.
    "May it please your Majesty," cried the Ingenious Patriot, in
    terror, "one of them contains tobacco."
    "Hold him up by the ankles and shake him," said the King; "then
    give him a check for forty-two million tumtums and put him to
    death.  Let a decree issue declaring ingenuity a capital offence."

 

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