Hi, everyone and welcome back to Happy Hour, 歡迎你又回來.
今天是牛年的大年初三, 也正好趕上一年一度的西洋情人節, Valentine's Day.
If you have been listening to our program for some time, you should know that we have another tradition on Valentine's Day.
While other content producers and e-commerce platforms are busy trying to create romance, we're actually going against that.
So we're doing again, an anti-valentine's day episode. Over the past few years, we did the worst breakup lines, the worst Valentine's Day present, and last year, we talked about some of the really, really cheesy pick-up lines.
Today we're going to carry on with that tradition and talk about the dumbest things we did in the name of love.
In both Chinese and English, we have similar sayings, we say Love makes us blind, Love turns us into fools.
And I'm sure looking back at your dating history, most of us have done something intrinsically stupid or bizarre. And back then, we all thought it was for love until reality really slaps us in the face.
I have to admit there're certain things I've done before. Back then it was romantic and courageous. Now looking back, I couldn't help pulling my hair and questioning myself, what on earth were you thinking? What went through your mind?
所以, 今天的酒館裡, 我們就來聊聊那些年我們以愛之名做過的荒唐事兒.
If you think what you have done was really embarrassing, really bad, don't you worry. After listening to the stories today, you might feel a lot better about yourself.
So let's start with childhood bravery.
You know, when you're just about to turn into a teenager, just started to really developing feelings for other people, starting to have crush on people. You feel like you can do absolutely anything and everything to get their attention.
So the first story says, when I was 13, I staged a fight in front of a girl to make myself look like a bad boy. That was also the day I learned it's not easy to fake a fight and make it look real. Well, perhaps the way to make it look real is to have a real fight, but make sure you come across as the final winner.
Now if staging a fight is not good enough, listen to story No.2.
When I was like 10 or 12, I hit behind a building and punched myself in the face so that this girl I liked would see that I can bleed without crying.
Oh~ that actually sounds pretty cute, although really, really dumb. If I were the little girl in the story, I might just end up being very, very confused. 我想, 當年故事裡的小女孩肯定也是全程黑人問號臉. Probably only little boys can associate bravery with punching yourself in the face till you bleed.
Story No.3, also about bravery, but this is not about punching yourself.
Story No.3 goes.
I was head over heels in love with this girl, but found out through a friend she didn't find me attractive. I had my braces on for 4 years. I figured it was time. 當時我戴了牙套, 她大概是不喜歡我的牙套吧.
So I took my own braces off with nail clippers. 所以, 我直接拿指甲剪把我的牙套給卸了下來.
It hurt, but she finally agreed to go out with me 2 weeks later. Unfortunately, she ended up being incredibly shallow and a nasty person. We didn't last very long at all.
Ouch, that sounds painful. I was going to say as long as you thought it was worth it, well, anyway. 你高興就好.
If childhood crush is mostly about doing silly things to show bravery, as we're getting into high school or universities, we start to develop serious crush. And I believe a lot of us have done crazy things to try to attract them.
Story No.4.
In high school, a girl I had a really big crush on told me I would look good with my head shaved completely. So I went home and shaved my head until it looked like a boiled egg. 因為我暗戀的女生說我剃光頭應該很好看. 我乾脆就把自己剃成了一個剛剝了皮的煮雞蛋。
I went into school the next day, she didn't even really notice me. So I kept this look for the rest of high school and had the nickname Gandhi. Good times! 因此, 也坐實了我高中的外號, 聖雄甘地. 多麼快樂的時光!
Honestly, I've seen a few people doing that in my school days. And trust me. Very few people look great with a completely shaved head.
And moving on to the next story. It is not uncommon the university students or even high school students to have a crush on their teachers. But say you had a crush on your teacher, what would you do to get his or her attention? Getting good grades? Na. That's too generic.
So listen to story No.5.
I had a huge crush on my professor, so I failed a few tests on purpose to get some one-on-one tutoring time with her. She ended up sending her gay TA to tutor me instead. And he couldn't have been more thrilled. 我上大學的時候特別著迷我的一位女教授, 所以我就故意不及格, 想要她對我進行單獨輔導, 結果她卻派來了給她當助教的同志小哥. 不過, 我看這位小哥好像對我有點兒意思. Maybe it's time to reconsider.
As far as crush goes, compared with boys, girls are a lot more subtle. Now listen to this girl in story No.6.
I had this huge crush and I used to just cycle around campus over and over again in over 40°C heat, hoping to casually run into him. 我曾經頂著40度以上的高溫, 騎著自行車在校園裡晃蕩, 只是為了製造和他偶然邂逅的機會.
Now I know some of you would call me a stalker, but get this. I wasn't technically following him anywhere. I was just hoping to run into him somewhere, so we might start up a conversation. 討厭! 人家那才不是跟蹤狂嗎? 明明是命運的邂逅.
Oh, girl. I feel for you. The only thing I could have said to you is Stay hydrated. Don't get a heat stroke.
So far, we have been talking about one-sided crush, but when you're in a relationship, there could also be a lot of things that you did for love and that you were trying very hard and still couldn't save your relationship.
Story No.7 sounds familiar.
My boyfriend went to France for exchange for 6 months. I thought it would be great if I surprised him. So I spent $4,000 on booking a fancy hotel room, flights during the 4th months of this trip.
When I got there, he told me he'd met another girl and had been sleeping with her for the past couple of months. I ended up $4,000 poorer, broken hearted and alone.
Ah. Well. At least, Paris is beautiful.
You know whenever in a relationship or love story, one person is trying to surprise the other person by visiting them or coming home early. It almost never leads to a happy ending. So here is the lesson for all of us. No surprise visits.
The next one, story No.8.
It's even more painful. It just really shows how much we're willing to put up with when we thought we were doing it for love.
So here it goes. I moved in with an ex, thinking that she wanted to give a real relationship a go. After signing the lease and decorating the place, I was invisible. 我和當時的女友決定開始同居生活, 高高興興地一起籤了租約, 還裝修了房子. 可是從那開始, 我就變成了透明人.
Then she started hooking up with other guys in the complex. I put up with the agony for 4 months, lived in my car for another 2 months until I found a new place to live. Expensive, stupid, blindly optimistic. Yeah, that sounds like me.
Oh. This story genuinely makes me feel sad. And his ex-girlfriend couldn't even be bothered to go out of the building to find guys to hook up with. Come on, have some decency. 年輕人不講武德.
It's terrible when you give your heart to someone, only to have them throwing it around like some sort of a toy. I think in that situation, the best solution really is to just get out of it as soon as possible.
I guess so far the stories we've heard are pretty realistic, things that we could have done ourselves. But the final story, which is a real story, is one of those bizarre stories that's just going to make you say what the …
So hear this story.
There’re so many ways to ask someone to marry you, so many different ideas about how to plan a surprise proposal. It can be sweet, it can be funny. But for this person in the last story, Alexey, we're just not sure where he got his inspiration.
So for his proposal, he pretended to get himself killed first. Therefore, getting his girlfriend to cry her eyes out. Just when she was not expecting, get down on one knee to ask her to spend the rest of her life with him.
And the whole thing was carefully planned. Alexey actually hired a movie director, stunt man, makeup artist and a script writer to make a convincing accident scene. 這位叫Alexey的小哥為了求婚, 拉來了一個電影團隊, 幫他做出了一個無比逼真的事故現場, 讓他的女朋友以為他在她眼前出事故, 當場身亡. 然後在女孩悲痛欲絕痛哭流涕的時候, 他再從地上爬起來向她求婚.
You might ask what is his reasoning for all of this? Well, according to him, he said I wanted her to realize how empty her life would be without me, and how life would have no meaning without me.
Well. Maybe in some bizarre way, he thought he was doing this in the name of love. But to me, he just sounds like a hugely self-centered narcissist and possibly psychopathic. But surprisingly, the girlfriend, she said yes.
I guess we all have our preferences in life. So after listening to all these crazy, dumb things people did in the name of love. What do you think?
Share with us your experience the dumbest or the craziest things you have done in the name of love. 在留言區和我們分享那些年你為了愛情做過的荒唐事兒吧.
But wouldn't it be wonderful if we can find someone who truly appreciates those dumb things we did. And hopefully we can all find that special someone.
Happy Valentine's Day, everyone. I'll see you next time.
Jenny
Judy & Jenny
Jer.ry
Jer.ry