1.你看你，來都來了，怎麼才帶這麼點東西？
Look at you, since you have come，why do you bring so little?
2.媽媽們的育兒經：頭胎照書養，二胎照豬喂。
Mothers' parenting: the first child according to book, the second child according to feed pigs.
3.世界並不缺少美，也不缺少發現美的眼睛，只是缺少擁有美的錢。
The world is not lack of beauty, nor lack of eyes to find beauty, but lack of money to own beauty.
4.婚姻從開始到結束，帶給你的都是開心。結婚時你開心，離婚時你更開心！
From the beginning to the end, marriage brings you happiness. You're happy when you're married, happier when you're divorced!
5.出來混，遲早要換號！
Come out to mix, sooner or later you will change your number!
6.「大哥，有個人揚言要砍我，怎麼辦？」
"Elder brother, a person threatens to chop me, how to do?"
「先下手為強啊，在他砍你之前，先砍自己幾刀。」
"Act first. Before he strikes you, strike yourself."
7.靜若癱瘓，動若癲癇。這形容真是絕了！
Being static as if paralysis, movement as if epilepsy. What a description!
8.「假如我又醜又窮又笨，你還會愛我嗎？」
"Would you still love me if I were ugly and poor and stupid?"
「你覺得你還用假如嗎？」
"Do you think you need to use if?"
9.一個成功的男人背後一定有個偉大的女人。馬雲除外，他成功的背後有千千萬萬的敗家女。
Behind every successful man there must be a great woman. Except Ma Yun, the backside of his success has thousands upon thousands of prodigal females.
10.「老婆，老婆，快看，我上電視了！」
"Wife, wife, look, I'm on TV!"
「抽什麼風，快點下來，電視都被你壓壞了，敗家玩意！」
"Come down quickly, the TV is all crushed by you, gizmo!"
以上圖片來源於網絡