Dear Reader,
If you haven't read part 1 then I strongly recommend you read it first in order to understand what's going on:
Part 1: How to get a teaching job in China
Right....where were we?
Meanwhile...
I'm pretty sure this guy has clocked on. P.S He's a laowai... surprise surprise
rom: xxxxxxxxxx<xxxxxxxxxx >
Sent: Wednesday, May 30, 2018 3:31:29 AM
To: Samantha Droppings
Subject: Re: Teaching position
Hello
You have a very interesting CV.
Send me a number I』d like to call you
xxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxx
Xxxxxxxx China
Email: xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Skype: xxxxxx
WeChat: xxxxxxxxxxx
I replied to see if this could go anywhere...
From: SamanthaDroppings <samanthadroppings@hotmail.com>
Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2018 1:51 AM
To: xxxxxxx
Subject: Re: Teaching position
Hello xxxx,
Thank you for your email. Do you think I have enough experience to teach in a school? I’m worried I won’t be good enough. Please share your thoughts with me.
I dropped my phone in my cup of tea so it's broken. But if you provide me with a number I would be happy to call you. Please let me know if I need to prepare anything for this phone interview.
I look forward to hearing from you
Many thanks
Miss Droppings
Sadly I received no reply.
However, I did receive another email... finally, someone who gets my sense of humour!
From: xxxxxxx <xxxxxxxxx >
Sent: Friday, June 1, 2018 5:43 PM
To: Samantha Droppings
Subject: Re: Teaching position
Hi Samantha,
Your resume is a joke, but thank you for the laugh.
Best,
xxxxx
Ok moving on! So now I have loads of interview offers let's see how far I can go.
Let's play a game!
ROUND 1
LEVEL 1
Respond to email
From: SamanthaDroppings <samanthadroppings@hotmail.com>
Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2018 1:54 AM
To: xxxxxx
Subject: Re: Re:Teaching position
Hi xxxx,
Yes my phone is still broken. I will be busy on Friday because I need to water my plants. Can we please reschedule for next week? Do you think it will be a problem if i have a criminal record?The criminal report I have is fake so it doesn't show any criminal offence and i was able to still get a visa so i can use the same one. is that ok?
Kind Regards
Samantha Droppings
RESULT: No reply
ROUND 2
LEVEL 1
Respond to email
2018-05-3119:14 GMT+08:00 Samantha Droppings <samanthadroppings@hotmail.com>:
Hello xxxxx,
Yes working in a kindergarten is perfect! I already have a z visa and I used a fake criminal record that showed I didn't have any offences and it was not a problem, so if use the same documents with the kindergarten it should be fine.
Please let me know what job opportunities are available and what are the next steps.
I look forward to hearing from you
Kind Regards
Miss Droppings
Sent from Outlook
RESULT: Reply received
From: xxxxxxx <xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Friday, June 1, 2018 9:25 AM
To: Samantha Droppings
Subject: Re: Teaching position
Hello Ms Dropping,
Did you get your university degree authenticated? Please send me your necessary documents mentioned in last email, then I'll help to apply for positions, thank you.
Areyou interested in this one?
xxxxxx httpxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Best regards,
xxxxxxx
LEVEL 2
Send email
From: SamanthaDroppings <samanthadroppings@hotmail.com>
Sent: Saturday, June 2, 2018 3:26 AM
To: xxxxxxxxx
Subject: Re: Teaching position
Hi xxxxxxx,
Yes I have all my degrees and certificates notarized and I also have my fake criminal record which is notarized so it is valid as a legal document. I can't send them to you right now because my old company has them. They are using it as emergency paper because they have run out of paper in the office. As soon as I can get hold of them i will send them to you next week. Please confirm, once I send them to you, you can start finding me jobs please.
Many thanks
Miss Droppings
Sent from Outlook
RESULT: No reply
ROUND 3
LEVEL 1
Respond to email
From: SamanthaDroppings <samanthadroppings@hotmail.com>
Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2018 11:30 AM
To: xxxxxxxxxx
Subject: Fw: Re:Teaching position
Hello xxxxx,
I'm glad you think my cv is good enough, that makes me very happy. Do you offer full time and part time jobs? For a part-time job do i need to provide a criminal report? I have a couple of minor offenses for some silly things I did when I was younger, for example I threw a cheeseburger into someone’s face because they annoyed me and I also broke into a restaurant because I was desperate to use the toilet. Anyway, I have another criminal record which is fake but it's good enough to get me a visa as I used it to get my z visa last year.
When are you available to set up an interview? I would like to find a job as soon as possible.
Many thanks
Miss Droppings
RESULT: Reply received
From: xxx <xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Monday, June 4, 2018 12:59 AM
To: SamSantha Droppings
Subject: Re:Fw: Re:Teaching position
Hi Samantha,
Could you please add me on WeChat or Skype? Then I can see if I can set up an interview with you via wechat or skype. Or you can leave your ID here, I will add you asap.
Sincerely,
xxxxx
LEVEL 2
Send another email
--- Original ---
From: "SamanthaDroppings"<samanthadroppings@hotmail.com>;
Date: Mon,Jun 4, 2018 09:18 AM
To: "xxxxxx"<xxxxxxxxxxxx>;
Subject: Re:Re:Fw: Re:Teaching position
Hi xxxxx
My phone is broken so I cant add you yet. It will take a couple of days. But just to confirm, can I use all my fake documents to continue on my visa or will the school have to give me a visa?
Kind Regards
Miss Droppings
Sentfrom Outlook
RESULT: Reply received
From: xxxxx <xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Monday, June 4, 2018 1:24 AM
To: Samantha Droppings
Subject: Re: Re:Fw: Re:Teaching position
Hi Samantha,
I suppose you need to get a new background check, the check usually expire after 6 months, the school need to have a new one and to apply a new z visa or just transfer your old one for you.So it's kind of risky if you keep the old one.
Sincerely,
xxxxxx
LEVEL 3
Send another email
--- Original ---
From: "SamanthaDroppings"<samanthadroppings@hotmail.com>;
Date: Mon,Jun 4, 2018 09:34 AM
To: "xxxxx"<xxxxxxxxxxxxx>;
Subject: Re:Re:Fw: Re:Teaching position
Hi xxxxx
Ok, I will buy another fake criminal record that is more updated. I have some contacts who have guanxi and they owe me a favour because when they visited London I helped them to arrange a meeting with the Queen. It was just for afternoon tea though because the Queen had dinner plans with me later.
Anyway, once I do the interview etc when do you think I can start working?
Kind Regards
Miss Droppings
Sentfrom Outlook
RESULT: Reply received
From: xxxxxxx <xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Monday, June 4, 2018 1:58 AM
To: Samantha Droppings
Subject: Re: Re:Fw: Re:Teaching position
Hi Samantha,
It's amazing to hear you have guanxi with the Queen. I will try my best to help you out. And could you please send me a self-video or demo video?
Sincerely,
xxxxxx
LEVEL 4
Send another email
From: SamanthaDroppings <samanthadroppings@hotmail.com>
Sent: Monday, June 4, 2018 2:26 AM
To: xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: Fw: Re:Fw: Re:Teaching position
Hi xxxxxxx
Thank you very much I really appreciate it.
I will send the demo video to you in a few days once my phone is fixed.
What kind of schools will I be teaching in? I have one small problem, when I was younger I never learnt how to write with a pen. I can only type. Do you think this will be a problem or will i just be teaching spoken English?
Thanks
Miss Droppings
Sentfrom Outlook
RESULT: No reply
ROUND 4
LEVEL 1
Respond to email
From: "Samantha Droppings<samanthadroppings@hotmail.com>"
To: "xxxxxxx <xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>"
Sent: 2018-05-31 11:49
Subject: Re: Re:Re: Re:Teaching position
Hello
Thank you for inviting me for the interview. I have a criminal record for stealing the toilet paper in the bathrooms of my old company. Do you think this will be a problem? I already have a z visa.
Thanks
Miss Droppings
RESULT: Reply received
From: xxxxx <xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2018 6:03 AM
To: Samantha Droppings
Subject: Re:Re: Re:Re: Re:Teaching position
Hi Samantha,
Do you need our support on your visa or can you handle it by yourself?
Best Wish,
Noah
LEVEL 2
Send another email
From: SamanthaDroppings
Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2018 10:04 AM
To: xxxxx
Subject: Re: Re:Re: Re:Re: Re:Teaching position
Hi xxxx
Thanks for your reply. I’m ok with the visa because I have a fake criminal report so it’s not a Problem. I』ve had this visa for 2 years now and no one found out I was a criminal so I think it’s ok.
What is the closest station to your office when I go for the interview and what kind of jobs can you offer me?
Many thanks
Miss Droppings
Sent from Outlook
RESULT: Reply received
(Please note I deleted the job description from the email because it was way too long)
From: xxxxxxx <xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Friday, June 1, 2018 2:47 AM
To: Samantha Droppings
Subject: Re:Re: Re:Re: Re:Re: Re:Teaching position
Hi Samantha,
This is our JD.
DELETED
You can pick a time on next Monday or Tuesday: 10:30am or 2:00pm or 4:00pm and let me know.The interview location is in our headquarter: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Best Wish,
xxxx
LEVEL 3
Send another email
From: SamanthaDroppings <samanthadroppings@hotmail.com>
Sent: Friday, June 1, 2018 2:57 AM
To: xxxxxxx
Subject: Re: Re:Re: Re:Re: Re:Re: Re:Teaching position
Hi XXXX,
So I can work with you using my own visa and fake criminal report right?
Is Tuesday at 10:30am ok? Do I need to prepare a demo?
Kind Regards
Miss Droppings
RESULT: Reply received （加油 💪 to me!)
From: xxxxxx <xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx >
Sent: Friday, June 1, 2018 3:06 AM
To: Samantha Droppings
Subject: Re:Re: Re:Re: Re:Re: Re:Re: Re:Teaching position
Hi Samantha,
Please prepare a demo and bring your resume and all related materials about your visa. I will ask our agent to support you.
Best Wish,
xxxxx
LEVEL 4
And send another email
From: SamanthaDroppings <samanthadroppings@hotmail.com>
Sent: Friday, June 1, 2018 3:19 AM
To: xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: Fw: Re:Re: Re:Re: Re:Re: Re:Re: Re:Teaching position
Hi Noah
Ok thank you. There's one last thing,I never learnt how to write with a pen when I was younger. I only know how to type on a computer. Will this be a problem when i'm teaching the students? Or will it just be spoken English?
What topic shall i prepare for the demo or can i choose my own topic?
Many thanks
Miss Droppings
RESULT: Reply received
From: xxxxxxx <xxxxxxxxxxxxxx >
Sent: Friday, June 1, 2018 3:38 AM
To: Samantha Droppings
Subject: Re:Fw: Re:Re: Re:Re: Re:Re: Re:Re: Re:Teaching position
Hi Samantha,
This will be a problem. We have some feedback sheets which require written skills. I'm sorry if you can't write, we will not be able to give you this offer.
Best Wish,
xxxx
LEVEL 5
Send another email
From: SamanthaDroppings <samanthadroppings@hotmail.com>
Sent: Friday, June 1, 2018 3:47 AM
To: xxxxxxx
Subject: Re: Re:Fw: Re:Re: Re:Re: Re:Re: Re:Re: Re:Teaching position
Hi xxxxx
What if I type the feedback sheets on a computer? Or I can get my boyfriend to write it for me? Do you think this will work?
Kind Regards
Samantha
RESULT: No reply
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