下面新東方網雅思頻道為大家整理了新東方樊黎明：雅思寫作批改實例(3)，供考生們參考，以下是詳細內容。
WRITING TASK 2
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Environmental problems are too big for individual countries and individual people to address. In other words, we have reached the stage where the only way to protect the environment is at an international level.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
Recent decades have witnessed enormous environmental challenges, such as toxic groundwater, polluted air and acid rain. Although many people subscribe to the belief that these problems are so big that can be only addressed at an international level, (1)I only partly agree with it. (2)
1. 同義改寫的力度還可以再大一些的!big可以改為severe; addressed 可以改為tackled, at international level 可以改為through international cooperation.
2. 沒有這樣寫的啦。其實你的意思就是不同意。可以改為具體一點的內容，I believe that individual countries and citizens also play a key role in environmental protection.
It is true that environmental concerns should be dealt with through joint efforts from countries. To start with, problems today like dust storms are so widespread that they can hardly be confined to one particular country, which means it is every country’s obligation to handle the problems. In addition, international cooperation can effectively boost the progress (3) in improving the environment. For instance, signing international treaties restricts (4) developed countries to produce carbon footprints (5) due to industrial process, which contributes significantly to resolving global warming.
3. boost跟progress可不是固定搭配哦。可以改為accelerate, facilitate。(來源：牛津英語搭配詞典)
4. 搭配不當。你查一下restrict的用法，一般只能跟sth.， 不能加sb. to do sth.的。只有~ oneself to (doing) sth.
朗文：http://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/restrict
牛津：http://oald8.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/dictionary/restrict
這裡可以改為International treaties can effectively restrict the emission of greenhouse gases from industries in developed countries.
5. 搭配不當。碳足跡不能跟produce搭配的。改為greenhouse gases就可以了。
However, it does not mean individual countries and individual people can do nothing to fulfill their environmental responsibilities. To enhance public awareness of environmental protection, the government should constitute more rigid laws and regulations as well as encouraging (6) the media to have a wider coverage of environmental deterioration. Only when people become truly aware of the current status can they take actions (7) for sustainable development.
6. 注意as well as後面所接動詞的形式取決於前一個動詞，而非一定用動名詞形式。
7. 「採取措施」可以用take measures，可以說take steps, 但是take action，後面不能加s。這個細節要記得呀!
可以參考牛津高階http://oald8.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/dictionary/step，倒數第三行。
As for individuals, a simpler lifestyle is a considerate step for improvement. For example, citizens can choose public transport instead of private cars, which in some way reduce (8) carbon emissions. Likewise, as customer, (9) individuals are supposed to reuse shopping bags and purchase eco-friendly products. Also, by recycling and sorting household waste, much energy resources (10)can be saved.
8. 注意主謂一致的問題。從句中的主語which替代的是前面的一整句話，所以相當於一個單數。加s。
9. 注意名詞單複數的問題。可數名詞不能「裸用」，即前面沒有冠詞，後面也不加s。這裡改為複數就好了。
10. 注意了!resources是複數，怎能用much修飾?改為considerable/ enormous/substantial。(來源：牛津英語搭配詞典)
In conclusion, solving the environmental problems is not only a matter of international cooperation, but also an obligation for individual countries and citizens. Only by combing external and domestic efforts can such issues be effectively resolved.
| 項目 | 得分 | 點評 |
| TR | 7 | 完全回答了題目中的要求。 |
| CC | 7 | 段落、句子之間的銜接都比較自然。 |
| LR | 7 | 單詞量不錯，而且有一定的靈活性。但是少數單詞用法和搭配上存在錯誤。 |
| GRA | 7 | 句型豐富而且使用靈活，但是還可以更地道一些。 |
| 總評 | 7 | 雖然有些小問題，但是瑕不掩瑜，總體還是非常出色的7分文章。希望繼續努力，通過多閱讀、多查詞典，把每個單詞都使用精準、到位。 |
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