I've got some good ones!
Here are some short, funny, and relatable sayings for adults:
1. "Wine is the answer to every question."
2. "Procrastination is my superpower."
3. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
4. "Adulting is overrated; can we just play video games instead?"
5. "My therapist says I'm making progress... but my couch says otherwise."
6. "Don't worry, I've got this... said no one ever."
7. "Coffee fuels my productivity (and everything else)."
8. "My social life is a joke... and that's not funny."
9. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
10. "Weekends were invented for Netflix binges."
11. "Who needs personal space when you have a good book?"
12. "Life hack: put on pajamas and call it 'adulting'!"
13. "My sanity is at an all-time low... but my snark game is strong."
14. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."
15. "Don't worry about me; I'll just survive on pizza and sarcasm."
16. "Problems are like pizza: even when they're bad, they're still pretty good."
17. "Adulting is hard... but so is being a responsible adult, and that's no joke."
18. "My therapist says I have trust issues... but really, it's just me trusting myself to eat an entire pizza by myself."
19. "I'm not lazy; I'm just conserving energy for more important things... like scrolling through social media."
20. "Don't worry about my love life; I'll just find someone who loves me for who I am: a hot mess express."
Feel free to use these whenever you need a good laugh or a reminder that you're not alone in this crazy adulting thing!
Here are some funny adult sayings and one-liners:
1. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
2. "Wine: because adulting is hard."
3. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference."
4. "Don't care don't know don't remember – my life motto."
5. "My therapist says I have trust issues. My response? 'You're not exactly the most trustworthy person yourself.'"
6. "I'm not arguing with you, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."
7. "When in doubt, eat pizza."
8. "Procrastination: the art of doing nothing until the last possible minute. Mastered it."
9. "My love life is like a choose-your-own-adventure book – except I always choose the wrong path."
10. "I'm not hungover, I'm just... recovering from an intense wine-tasting experience."
11. "Wine, cheese, and Netflix: my three favorite things to do while pretending to be an adult."
12. "I may not know what I want in life, but I know what I don't want – and that's a 9-to-5 job."
13. "My relationship goals are like my cooking skills – messy, unpredictable, and occasionally explosive."
14. "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried and pretend you meant to do it that way."
15. "I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving energy for more important things... like binge-watching Netflix."
16. "My social skills are like my cooking skills – a little rusty, but I can still make some decent small talk."
17. "If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. If life gives you procrastination, make excuses."
18. "I may not have my life together, but at least my Netflix queue is on point."
19. "My love life is like a box of chocolates – unpredictable, messy, and occasionally disgusting."
20. "Procrastination: the art of doing nothing until the last possible minute... except when there's no coffee left."
Remember, these sayings are meant to be humorous and light-hearted. Use them wisely (or not at all)
Here are some funny adult sayings about life:
1. "Life begins at 30, but you're still paying for the mistakes you made in your 20s."
2. "Adulting is hard, but at least we have wine to make it more enjoyable."
3. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode... until happy hour starts."
4. "Life hack: just add coffee and a comfy couch, and most problems will solve themselves."
5. "By the time you're 30, you'll realize that all your problems are just minor annoyances compared to trying to get the kids to eat their veggies."
6. "The secret to happiness is not being bothered by what other people think... until someone mentions your cat's haircut and then it's a whole different story."
7. "Life is like a puzzle, except the pieces don't fit together like they're supposed to, and sometimes you just have to use glue and hope for the best."
8. "If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. If life gives you avocado toast, make a fancy Instagram post about it instead."
9. "At this point in my life, I've realized that the only thing more exhausting than adulting is pretending to be interested in someone else's vacation photos."
10. "I'm not saying I'm old, but I remember when 'self-care' meant taking a 30-minute nap and calling it a day."
11. "Life is full of twists and turns... unless you're on the highway during rush hour, then it's just a bunch of stop-and-go traffic with occasional roadwork."
12. "The only thing more painful than growing up is remembering all the things your parents told you to do when you were younger that you didn't listen to at the time."
13. "Life is like a game of Jenga – sometimes you gotta take risks and hope the whole thing doesn't come crashing down, but if it does, there's always pizza."
14. "When life gives you rain, make a Spotify playlist about the weather and pretend it's existential commentary."
15. "By the time I'm 40, I'll be one of those people who shows up to social events with a reusable water bottle and a fanny pack, but for now, I'll just stick to my coffee mug and wallet."
I hope these make you laugh!
Here are some very short and funny quotes:
1. I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode.
2. Coffee: because adulting is hard.
3. I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
4. Procrastination is my superpower.
5. My life motto: eat, sleep, repeat (and occasionally remember to shower).
6. Wine: the answer to all of life's problems.
7. I'm not short-tempered, I'm just passionately enthusiastic about being on time.
8. Cereal killer: eating alone in bed is my superpower.
9. I'm not a morning person; I'm a coffee person.
10. My love life is like a video game: it's all about leveling up... and dying repeatedly.
11. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you margaritas, just drink them.
12. My daily routine: wake up, eat pizza, die trying.
13. Pro tip: when in doubt, add glitter.
14. I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals; I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
15. What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws, and one is just a pause.
Hope these quotes bring a smile to your face!
I've got some doozies for you! Here are some funny and crazy quotes that might make you laugh:
1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
2. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
3. "My life is a mess, but my hair looks great today."
4. "I'm not late, I'm just fashionably delayed."
5. "Why do I need a map? I have a phone with GPS... and also a strong sense of direction... sometimes."
6. "Procrastination: the art of putting off until tomorrow what can be put off till next week."
7. "My therapist says I have a 'fear of not having fun.' Yeah, that's it. That's my real fear."
8. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."
9. "Life is short, but my attention span is even shorter."
10. "Why do we park on driveways and drive on parks? Because we're crazy, that's why!"
11. "My cat's idea of a 'good time' is knocking over a glass of water and then staring at me like, 'What's the big deal?'"
12. "I'm not arguing about who left the dishes in the sink. I'm just stating my opinion."
13. "Why do we have to wait for our food when we can just eat it straight from the fridge? Priorities, people!"
14. "My life is like a box of chocolates – except the chocolates are covered in dust and the box is falling apart."
15. "I'm not crazy, I'm just... creatively misaligned."
Remember, these quotes might be funny, but they're also totally relatable!
You want some humorously risqué motivation, huh? Here are some "funny dirty" motivational quotes that might just give you a chuckle and a kick in the pants:
1. "Wake up every morning like your pants are on fire. Because, honestly, they probably are."
2. "Don't watch Netflix all day; use it as a reward for completing your tasks. Trust me, you won't regret the productivity"
3. "You're not lazy, you're just conserving energy... for Netflix binges and eating Cheetos in bed"
4. "Set goals, crush them, then immediately forget what they were because you got too busy playing video games"
5. "Life is like a dirty joke – it's messy, weird, and sometimes you gotta laugh at the absurdity of it all"
6. "Remember, every great achievement starts with a mediocre effort. So go ahead, get lazy, and then surprise yourself by crushing your goals"
7. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you coffee, make a really good cup of coffee and enjoy the caffeine high"
8. "You don't need to be motivated to do something – just pretend it's a dare from your ex and get moving"
9. "Don't let fear hold you back. Unless that fear is public speaking or spiders; in which case, please just hide under your bed with a bag of Cheetos"
10. "The only thing more exhausting than trying to motivate yourself is actually doing something productive. So, yeah, do the latter"
Remember, these quotes are meant to be humorous and not taken too seriously. Motivation can come from many places, but if you find humor in it, that's a great starting point!
Here are some funny adult work quotes:
1. "Adulting is hard, but at least we're all miserable together."
2. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference."
3. "Coffee: because adulting without it would be impossible."
4. "My job is to make money, yours is to spend it. Let's keep the economy going!"
5. "When you're an adult, you realize that 'work-life balance' is just a myth perpetuated by sadists who enjoy watching you cry."
6. "What's the best part about being an adult? Paying taxes and complaining about how expensive everything is."
7. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode because adulting is exhausting."
8. "The only thing more exhausting than working is pretending to like my job."
9. "Adults are just big kids with more responsibilities and wrinkles."
10. "Why do adults have to wear pants? Can't we just wear PJs all the time?"
11. "If I wanted to listen to someone complain about their job, I'd watch a webinar."
12. "The only thing more stressful than being an adult is pretending not to be one."
13. "When you're an adult, you realize that 'networking' is just code for 'making friends with people who can help me get ahead.'"
14. "What's the difference between an adult and a child? Adults have mortgages and children have allowances."
15. "The only thing more painful than being an adult is pretending to enjoy it."
16. "If I wanted to feel like I was in a never-ending meeting, I'd watch paint dry."
17. "When you're an adult, you realize that 'work-life balance' is just a myth perpetuated by sadists who enjoy watching you cry."
18. "What's the best part about being an adult? Paying taxes and complaining about how expensive everything is."
19. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."
20. "The only thing more exhausting than working is pretending to like my job."
Remember, these quotes are meant to be humorous and lighthearted. Adulting can be tough, but it's also an opportunity to learn, grow, and (occasionally) have a good laugh about the challenges we face!
Let's have some fun with random funny phrases!
Here are a few to get us started:
1. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode!"
2. "Cats are like potato chips – you can't eat just one...or five."
3. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right!"
4. "Donuts are the answer to all of life's problems (except gluten intolerance)."
5. "Procrastination is my superpower!"
Your turn! What random funny phrases do you have lying around?