Here are some short and funny pieces of marriage advice:
1. **Communication is key... or at least make fun of each other's snoring**: Marriage is all about finding common ground (and a way to drown out your partner's snores).
2. **Never go to bed angry... unless you're really tired**: It's okay to put off resolving an argument if you're exhausted. Just don't forget to wake up and try again tomorrow.
3. **Love means never having to say 'you're always right'**: A little bit of humility can go a long way in marriage.
4. **A happy wife is a happy life... unless she's being ridiculous**: Know when to pick your battles and when to just laugh and agree to disagree.
5. **Marriage is like a deck of cards... you start with two hearts and a diamond, but after 20 years, you're just trying not to get divorced**: Marriage can be tough, but with the right attitude, it's an adventure worth taking on!
6. **The secret to a happy marriage is finding someone who loves you more than they love pizza**: If your partner loves you more than they love cheese, you've got a good thing going!
7. **Marriage is like playing Jenga... except instead of blocks, it's arguments and resentments**: Be careful not to remove the wrong piece or the whole thing might come crashing down.
8. **The most important thing in marriage is finding someone who will love and support you, even when you're being a giant dork**: A little bit of silliness can go a long way in keeping your relationship fresh!
9. **Marriage is like riding a bike... except the bike is on fire and you have to ride it with your eyes closed while reciting Shakespearean sonnets**: Marriage can be tough, but with the right attitude, it's an adventure worth taking on!
10. **The key to a happy marriage is finding someone who will love and respect you for who you are... even when you leave the cap off the toothpaste**: A little bit of quirks and imperfections can make your relationship all the more special!
A great topic! Funny marriage advice on Reddit can be a real treat. Here are some hilarious and relatable gems:
1. **"Marriage is like a game of Jenga. Except the pieces are emotions, and one wrong move will crush your partner."** - u/throwaway1234567
2. **"When in doubt, just pretend you're on a reality TV show and everything becomes more dramatic."** - u/RedditorNameHere
3. **"Communication is key... unless you're tired or hungry, then just nod and say 'uh-huh'."** - u/MarriedToABear
4. **"The secret to a happy marriage is not arguing over who left the cap off the toothpaste, but rather laughing at each other's ridiculous toothbrush-holding habits."** - u/SassyPants42
5. **"Marriage is like a pizza: even when it's bad, it's still pretty good. And if it's great, you can always order more."** - u/ChillDude23
6. **"When your partner says 'nothing' as an answer to 'what's wrong,' just nod and say 'okay, cool.' Then go investigate the entire house until you find something that's actually wrong."** - u/MarriedToABear (again!)
7. **"The key to a long-lasting marriage is not love or commitment, but rather having a common enemy: like a shared hatred for in-laws or a neighbor who plays their music too loud."** - u/RedditUser123
8. **"If you ever find yourself saying 'I'm just going to go for a run' when your partner asks what's wrong, you're probably having an affair... with exercise."** - u/FunnyMarriageAdvice
These quotes are not only entertaining but also offer some valuable (albeit humorous) insights into the ups and downs of marriage. Remember, laughter is an essential part of any successful relationship!
Here are some funny one-liners for marriage advice:
1. "Marriage is like a deck of cards. You start with two hearts and a diamond, but after going through all the clubs, you're just trying to find a spade."
2. "A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers."
3. "Love is not something you find, it's something you create... until it becomes too much work, then you just tolerate each other."
4. "Marriage is a lot like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park."
5. "The key to a happy marriage is finding someone who loves you more than they love their Xbox."
6. "Couples who argue together, stay together. Couples who don't argue at all? One of them is hiding something."
7. "Marriage is like being in a hot air balloon. You're both floating through life together, but one of you might get dropped out the door without warning."
8. "The best way to keep your marriage strong is to never let your partner think they're wrong... or awake."
9. "A successful marriage requires falling in love with the same person multiple times."
10. "Marriage is like a game of Jenga. You start with a solid foundation, then take turns removing pieces and hoping it doesn't all come crashing down."
11. "In every marriage, there's one spouse who thinks they're the 'main event' and the other who knows they're just the 'opening act'."
12. "The most important thing in a marriage is finding someone who is good at pretending to listen when you're talking about your feelings."
13. "Marriage is like being stuck on a never-ending elevator with one person... but at least there's air conditioning and snacks."
14. "A happy marriage is like a good recipe: equal parts love, laughter, and arguing over whose turn it is to do the dishes."
15. "The secret to a successful marriage? Not trying to be the 'hero' of the story... just being the sidekick who lets their partner be the hero."
Remember, these are just for laughs and not meant to be taken seriously!
Here are some humorous marriage advice quotes:
1. "Marriage is like a deck of cards. You start with two hearts and a diamond, but after a few years, you're just trying to find the club that will get you out of the house."
2. "The secret to a happy marriage is finding someone who loves you more than they love being right."
3. "Marriage is like a game of Jenga. You start with a solid foundation and then take turns removing pieces until it all comes crashing down."
4. "The most important thing in a marriage is not 'til death do us part,' but rather 'til the Wi-Fi password is forgotten."
5. "A happy marriage is like a good joke – you have to be willing to laugh at yourself, even when your partner is driving you crazy."
6. "Marriage is like a puzzle. It's fun until you realize you've been putting the wrong piece in the wrong spot for years."
7. "The key to a successful marriage is not 'happily ever after,' but rather 'not killing each other yet.'"
8. "Marriage is like a game of chess – except instead of pieces, you're moving furniture and trying not to get checkmated by your partner's snoring."
9. "The most important thing in a marriage is communication – unless you're both tired, then just nodding off together works too."
10. "A happy marriage is like a good recipe – it takes a little bit of love, a pinch of patience, and a whole lot of compromise (and also a willingness to eat leftovers for the rest of your life)."
11. "Marriage is like a game of Clue – except instead of figuring out who killed Mr. Body, you're trying to figure out who left the dishes in the sink."
12. "The key to a successful marriage is not 'love,' but rather 'tolerance' and 'a willingness to pretend you're still in love.'"
13. "Marriage is like a box of chocolates – except instead of different flavors, you get different levels of annoyance and frustration."
14. "A happy marriage is like a good book – it takes time to develop the plot, but eventually you'll find yourself turning the pages (and rolling your eyes) together."
15. "The most important thing in a marriage is not 'I do,' but rather 'I don't care who left the toilet seat up'."
Remember, these quotes are meant to be humorous and light-hearted. Marriage advice should always come from someone who has actually been there, done that, and got the t-shirt (or in this case, the divorce papers).
Here are some humorous and terrible pieces of marriage advice:
1. **"Marriage is like a puzzle. Unless you're both wearing the same glasses, you'll never figure it out."**
2. **"Just pretend your partner is a cute animal that poops on your carpet sometimes. It's not so bad."**
3. **"If you love someone, let them win at Scrabble... all the time."**
4. **"Marriage is like cooking a big pot of soup. Sometimes it'll burn, but at least you got a good story out of it."**
5. **"The secret to a happy marriage? Just agree that everything your partner says is true, no matter how ridiculous it sounds."**
6. **"When in doubt, just remember: you're both stuck with each other now."**
7. **"If you want to keep the romance alive, surprise your spouse by doing their laundry without them asking... for a week straight."**
8. **"The key to a successful marriage is having a good therapist... and a willingness to use them as an excuse to get out of doing chores."**
9. **"In a married relationship, it's essential to have open communication. That means listening to your partner while secretly thinking about how you can one-up them in the argument."**
10. **"Marriage is like a game of Jenga. Just when you think you've got everything figured out, someone pulls out the wrong block and the whole thing comes crashing down."**
11. **"The secret to a happy marriage? Just pretend your partner's snoring isn't actually a form of communication."**
12. **"When in doubt, just remember: divorce is like buying a new pair of shoes... it'll hurt for a little while, but you'll be fine eventually."**
Remember, these are all terrible pieces of advice and not meant to be taken seriously!
Here are some old-fashioned marriage tips with a dash of humor:
1. **Communicate... or else**: When my grandma got married, she said to her husband-to-be, "We'll talk every day for the rest of our lives... or else!" She meant it too.
2. **Compromise... on who does the dishes**: In the old days, husbands and wives used to argue over whose turn it was to do the dishes. Compromise: flip a coin, winner gets out of dish duty!
3. **Keep your sense of humor (and a spare set of batteries)**: Marriage can be tough, but laughter is the best medicine. Just make sure you have extra batteries for your partner's "I'm mad at you" face.
4. **Don't sweat the small stuff... unless it's the TV remote**: In old-fashioned marriage advice books, they used to say "don't worry about little things." But let's be real, who doesn't get annoyed when their partner changes the channel without asking?
5. **Show appreciation (and a willingness to share snacks)**: My grandpa used to tell his wife, "You're like a box of chocolates – rich and full of surprises!" Show your love by sharing your favorite snacks... or at least not hiding them.
6. **Support each other's passions... even if they're weird**: In the old days, husbands might have encouraged their wives' sewing hobbies or knitting clubs, even if they didn't understand the point.
7. **Apologize (and mean it)**: When my grandma got upset with her husband, she'd say, "You're sorry, right?" If he said no, she'd make him apologize sincerely... or else!
8. **Keep your priorities straight**: In old-fashioned marriage advice, they used to say, "Husband, put your wife first!" Then came the inevitable, "But honey, I left the garage door open..."
9. **Love each other's quirks (and weird habits)**: My grandma used to snore like a chainsaw, and her husband loved it! Find the humor in your partner's eccentricities.
10. **Remember that marriage is a journey... not a competition**: In old-fashioned marriage advice, they'd say, "Marriage is like a game of cards – you gotta work together to win!" No more trying to outdo each other!
These are just some lighthearted, humorous takes on old-fashioned marriage advice. Remember, every relationship is unique, and what works for one couple might not work for another.
Here are some funny marriage advice for your partner:
1. **Remember, I'm the boss now**: Just kidding (kind of). But seriously, marriage is a partnership, so be prepared to listen, compromise, and have fun together!
2. **Don't worry if you forget my birthday... just pretend it's not that big of a deal**: Kidding aside, make sure to show your love and appreciation for each other on special days (and every day).
3. **Communicate effectively... or just agree to disagree**: Marriage is all about finding common ground. When you can't agree, pick your battles wisely (or just laugh it off and move on).
4. **Keep the romance alive by doing the dishes together**: Okay, maybe not that exactly, but find ways to maintain a sense of excitement and playfulness in your relationship.
5. **Don't try to fix everything... sometimes you just need to let her cry**: Be supportive and understanding, even when things get tough.
6. **Marriage is like a video game - sometimes you win, sometimes you die (but mostly you just level up)**: Approach challenges together, and don't be afraid to ask for help when needed.
7. **Remember, I love you more than pizza... but not by much**: Keep things in perspective, and prioritize your relationship above all else.
8. **Don't worry if we have different opinions on everything... that's what makes life interesting!**: Embrace the differences that make your relationship unique and exciting.
9. **Show me you care by doing stupid stuff together**: Like going on a spontaneous road trip or trying out a weird hobby. These memories will last a lifetime!
10. **Marriage is like a dance - sometimes we step on each other's toes, but we always find our way back to the beat**: Laugh, forgive, and keep dancing (or walking) together.
Remember, these are just lighthearted tips, and every marriage is unique. The most important thing is to love, communicate, and support each other through life's ups and downs!
Here are some funny marriage captions that you might enjoy:
1. "Marriage is like a deck of cards. You start with two hearts and a diamond, but after going through all the trials and tribulations, you're just trying to find the club."
2. "I married my best friend, and now we have 2.5 kids, and I'm pretty sure that's not what our therapist meant by 'growth'."
3. "Marriage is like a game of Jenga. You start with a solid foundation, but as time goes on, you're just trying to find the right pieces to hold it all together."
4. "I love my husband more than pizza, and that's a big deal because I really love pizza."
5. "We've been married for 10 years now, and I'm starting to think that our marriage is like a box of chocolates – you never know what kind of crazy you're going to get."
6. "Marriage is the only thing that can make me feel like I'm in a hostage situation when my husband leaves his dirty socks on the floor."
7. "I married my soulmate, and now we have 3 kids, and I'm pretty sure that's not what our therapist meant by 'soul-mate'."
8. "Marriage is like a rollercoaster – it's fun at first, but then you realize you're stuck in a never-ending loop of arguing about whose turn it is to do the dishes."
9. "I love my husband more than I love being right, and that's saying something because I really hate losing arguments."
10. "We've been married for 5 years now, and I'm starting to think that our marriage is like a puzzle – sometimes the pieces fit together perfectly, but other times it just looks like a hot mess."
11. "Marriage is like a game of Monopoly – you start with all your properties, but as time goes on, you're just trying to hold onto what's left."
12. "I married my best friend, and now we have 2 kids, and I'm pretty sure that's not what our therapist meant by 'best friend'."
13. "Marriage is like a game of chess – sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, but most times you just end up with a bunch of broken pieces."
14. "I love my husband more than I love being the boss, and that's saying something because I really hate being told what to do."
15. "We've been married for 10 years now, and I'm starting to think that our marriage is like a pair of worn-out sneakers – it may not look great on the outside, but it's still got some miles left in it."
I hope these captions bring a smile to your face!