Here are some short, funny, and inspiring success quotes to motivate you:
1. **"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it's the coffee that really matters."** - Unknown
2. "Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going." - Sam Levenson
3. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode." - Unknown
4. "Believe you can and you're halfway there. Believe you can't and you'll be right." - Unknown
5. "The only way to do great work is to love what you do. And if you don't love what you do, go get a new job." - Unknown
6. "Success is not about how many times you fall down, it's about how quickly you get up." - Unknown
7. "The best way to predict your future is to invent it. (And then take a nap)." - Unknown
8. "Don't let yesterday take up too much of today." - Will Rogers
9. "You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream." - C.S. Lewis
10. "Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out." - Robert Collier
11. "The only limit to your success is the one you believe in." - Unknown
12. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then try to sell the lemonade for a profit." - Unknown
13. "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. (Unless you're playing basketball with a ball that's too heavy.)" - Wayne Gretzky
14. "The only thing holding you back is your own imagination." - Unknown
15. "Don't let fear hold you back. Unless it's a fear of heights. Then, maybe just stick to the ground." - Unknown
I hope these short, funny, and inspiring success quotes bring a smile to your face and motivate you to reach for your goals!
Here are some very short, funny quotes:
1. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
2. "Coffee: because adulting is hard."
3. "Procrastination is my superpower."
4. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
5. "Donuts are like hugs for your stomach."
6. "Life hack: just add more coffee."
7. "My brain is 80% 'what's for lunch?'"
8. "Today's goals: eat pizza, watch Netflix, pretend to be a functioning adult."
9. "I'm not a morning person... or an evening person... or any time of day person."
10. "Warning: I may be sarcastic today. Proceed with caution (and eye-rolling)."
11. "Cats are like tiny little dictators. 'Feed me now, human.'"
12. "Why do coffee cups always seem to have the wrong amount of coffee?"
13. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."
14. "Life is short. Eat the ice cream."
15. "My favorite hobby: staring blankly at screens and pretending to be productive."
These quotes are all very short (typically 1-3 words) and are meant to be humorous, relatable, or both!
I've got some great ones for you! Here are some very short, funny quotes about life:
1. "Life is like a pizza, even when it's bad, it's still pretty good."
2. "Adulting is overrated. Can I just play with Legos instead?"
3. "My life is like a game of Jenga. One wrong move and everything comes crashing down."
4. "Procrastination is my superpower. I can put off anything!"
5. "Life hack: Just eat the pizza. You can exercise tomorrow."
6. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
7. "My life motto is 'Carpe diem...or at least carpe Netflix'."
8. "Warning: my life may be a mess, but my hair is always on point."
9. "Life is like a box of chocolates - you never know what kind of stress you'll find inside."
10. "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
11. "My to-do list is just a series of reminders to eat more snacks."
12. "Life hack: Pretend you're a functioning adult until someone asks you to do something."
13. "My life is like a puzzle - sometimes the pieces fit, and sometimes I just throw it all away and play with Legos."
14. "Adulting is hard, but at least I have my cat to tell me what to do."
15. "Life motto: 'I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right'."
Hope these short funny quotes about life made your day a little brighter!
Here are some funny success quotes that can motivate and inspire you at work:
1. "Success is the best revenge, but don't forget to file an expense report for your revenge lunch."
2. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. And by the way, I'm crushing it today."
3. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then use that lemonade to negotiate a raise."
4. "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
5. "Success is not about being the best, it's about being better than your Monday self."
6. "Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going." (Sam Levenson)
7. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode. Like my computer, but without the occasional reboot."
8. "The best way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing." (Walt Disney)
9. "If you're not first, you're last." (Ricky Bobby, Talladega Nights)
10. "The only way to do great work is to love what you do." (Steve Jobs)
11. "The key to success is to start before you are ready." (Marie Forleo)
12. "Don't worry about being successful. Worry about being worthy of success."
13. "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." (Winston Churchill)
14. "The most valuable thing in life is a good reputation; nothing is more valuable than that." (Nelson Mandela)
15. "Do something today that your future self will thank you for."
16. "Success has made them, not they it." (Benjamin Franklin)
17. "The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today." (Franklin D. Roosevelt)
18. "Don't let yesterday take up too much of today."
19. "You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great." (Zig Ziglar)
20. "Believe you can and you're halfway there." (Theodore Roosevelt)
Remember, success is a journey, not a destination. And laughter can be a powerful tool to keep us motivated and inspired along the way!
I've got some humorous ones for you!
1. "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it's the coffee that gets us through the day."
2. "I'm not a morning person, but I'll get up and conquer the world... after my second cup of coffee."
3. "Life hack: just pretend to know what you're doing, and people will assume you do."
4. "The best way to predict your future is to make it up as you go along."
5. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode... all the time."
6. "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
7. "Life tip: just do what feels good and pretend it's a good idea later."
8. "The only way to make sense out of chaos is to stand in the midst of it and laugh."
9. "Adulting is hard, but at least I can adult with a Netflix subscription."
10. "The secret to success? Don't watch cat videos during work hours (or at all)."
11. "If you can't figure it out, just wing it and hope for the best (works most of the time)."
12. "Life is like pizza: even when it's bad, it's still pretty good."
13. "The key to success? Faking confidence until you become it (or at least until someone believes you do)."
14. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right... and also arguing a little bit."
15. "Life hack: put on pants before leaving the house (optional, but highly recommended)."
Hope these funny success quotes about life bring a smile to your face!
Here are some funny success quotes that students might enjoy:
1. "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it's the coffee that gets you through the day." - Unknown
2. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode... until finals week."
3. "Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going." - Sam Levenson (but let's be real, students will probably still check their phones)
4. "The best way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing." - Walt Disney (or just start procrastinating and see where that takes you)
5. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you a 3 AM essay due tomorrow, make a decent attempt."
6. "Believe you can and you're halfway there. Believe you can't and you'll still probably pass with a C minus." - Unknown
7. "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. Or in my case, 10,000 ways to procrastinate."
8. "You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great. And then maybe try again after a nap."
9. "Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out. Or, you know, just show up to class most days."
10. "The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall... or just getting back up after hitting the snooze button for the 12th time"
11. "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Unless those shots are due at midnight and you're still trying to figure out how to do that one problem set."
12. "The only way to do great work is to love what you do. Or, at least, pretend to love it until graduation."
13. "The key to success is to start before you're ready. And then just hope for the best when your project is due in 2 hours."
14. "You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. Unless that dream involves being done with finals week already."
15. "Chase your dreams, even if they don't make sense. Like, 'I want to be a professional hammock tester' – go for it! (Just not on campus)"
Remember, these quotes are meant to be humorous and might not reflect the actual experiences or opinions of all students.
I'd love to help you with that! Here are some funny and crazy quotes for you:
1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference."
2. "Crazy is a term used by people who can't handle genius."
3. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
4. "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
5. "My therapist says I have a lot of 'anger issues.' I say I have a lot of 'frustration with the futility of life' issues."
6. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."
7. "If you can't take the heat, then get out of my kitchen... or at least turn on some air conditioning."
8. "Crazy people are always smiling. They're so happy to be crazy!"
9. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you limes, make margaritas."
10. "My mind is like a browser with too many tabs open. I'm just trying not to crash the whole thing."
11. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on a permanent vacation... in my pajamas."
12. "If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space."
13. "Life is short, but snacks are forever."
14. "When life gives you rainbows and sunshine, make a mediocre song about it."
15. "My brain is like a pinball machine. Sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's frustrating, and sometimes it just gets stuck on 'tilt'."
Feel free to use them, laugh at them, or even get inspired by them!
The perfect blend of sarcasm and motivation! Here are some funny "bad" inspirational quotes to help you laugh and maybe, just maybe, get motivated:
1. "Believe in yourself. Just don't believe too much, or you'll end up disappointed."
2. "You are stronger than you think... until you're not, which is usually around 3 PM on a Monday."
3. "Don't give up! Unless it's something truly awful, like a bad haircut or a root canal without anesthesia."
4. "Dream big! Just don't forget to set realistic goals, so you can still be disappointed when you fail."
5. "You are the master of your fate... unless you're running late for a meeting and stuck in traffic."
6. "Never stop trying! Unless it's something stupid, like trying to make a soufflé from scratch or talking to that one person at the party."
7. "Chase your dreams! Just don't chase them too aggressively, or you might trip and face-plant on the sidewalk."
8. "You are capable of achieving anything... except maybe that thing you've been putting off for years, because procrastination is a real skill."
9. "Keep going! Even when it feels like everything is against you... which is usually around 10 PM on a Tuesday."
10. "Never lose faith in yourself! Unless you're trying to start a startup or invest in cryptocurrency – then please, for the love of all things good, lose faith."
11. "You are a unique snowflake! Just don't try to make too many more like you, or you might end up with a bunch of useless flakes and no actual snow."
12. "Don't be afraid to fail! Unless it's something important, like getting fired from your job or having your cat die – then maybe just stick with what you're doing."
13. "You are the hero of your own story... unless you're stuck in a never-ending loop of Monday morning traffic, then you might want to rewrite that script."
14. "Believe in yourself! Just don't believe too much, or you'll end up thinking you can fly and jumping off the roof."
15. "Chase your passions! Unless they're something boring, like watching paint dry or listening to elevator music – then maybe just stick with what you know."
Remember, these quotes are meant to be humorous and not taken literally. Now go forth and motivational-ize (not a real word) yourself with a healthy dose of sarcasm and humor!