A great topic! Here are some short and funny wedding reading ideas to bring laughter and joy to your special day:
1. **The Vows of a Good Marriage**:
"Happily ever after has nothing to do with the marriage vows. It's all about the Netflix subscription, the dog's training, and who does the dishes." - Unknown
2. **Love in the Time of Pizza**:
"Marriage is like a pizza delivery guy. You never know what you're gonna get, but it's always worth it in the end." - Unknown
3. **The Art of Marriage**:
"A good marriage requires space, laughter, and an understanding that even when we're not having sex, we're still having each other." - Unknown
4. **Wedding Wisdom**:
"Marriage is a journey, not a destination. And if it's a journey, can I get a refund? Just kidding, I'm all in." - Unknown
5. **The Secret to a Happy Marriage**:
"The secret to our happiness is that we don't take ourselves too seriously. Unless one of us tries to eat the last slice of pizza. Then we're on our own." - Unknown
6. **Marriage: The Ultimate Adventure**:
"Marriage is like a treasure hunt. You never know what you'll find, but it's always exciting and sometimes you'll get stuck in a cave with no cell phone signal." - Unknown
7. **The Power of Love**:
"Love is the glue that holds our relationship together. And by glue, I mean duct tape, because let's be real, we're not perfect." - Unknown
8. **The Joy of Marriage**:
"Marriage is like a game of Jenga. You start with a solid foundation, add some crazy pieces, and hope it doesn't all come crashing down." - Unknown
9. **Wedding Wisdom from a Pro**:
"My marriage advice? Don't take anything personally. Unless someone takes your Netflix password. Then get angry." - Unknown
10. **The Art of Compromise**:
"Marriage is about finding common ground. Like who gets to control the remote, or which pizza topping reigns supreme." - Unknown
Remember, these readings are meant to be lighthearted and humorous. Choose one that reflects your personalities and relationship style, and have fun with it!
Here are some funny and witty wedding reading ideas suitable for friends:
1. **"The Friend's Guide to Marriage"**: A lighthearted take on the traditional wedding vows, poking fun at the ups and downs of marriage.
2. **"Love in the Time of Netflix Bingeing"**: A humorous look at how modern love can be fueled by a shared love of TV shows and movies.
3. **"The Art of Not Killing Each Other (Yet)"**: A playful take on the challenges of married life, promising that they won't kill each other... yet.
4. **"A Love Letter to Your Friends (and Also Your Spouse)"**: A funny, relatable letter to friends and loved ones, celebrating the importance of relationships in marriage.
5. **"The Ultimate Guide to Marriage: Tips from a Friend Who's Still Single"**: A humorous, tongue-in-cheek guide to marriage from someone who hasn't quite figured it out themselves yet!
6. **"When You Least Expect It (or Not at All)"**: A whimsical take on the surprises and unexpected moments that come with married life.
7. **"The Friend's Oath: To Love, Support, and Occasionally Judge Your Decisions"**: A lighthearted promise to be there for each other through thick and thin... even when you disagree!
8. **"Why We're Still Friends (and Not Each Other)"**: A hilarious exploration of why the couple has decided to get married instead of just being friends.
9. **"Love in the Time of Adulting"**: A humorous look at how marriage can be a wild ride, but with friends by your side, you'll survive anything!
10. **"The Friend's Refresher Course on Marriage: Because It's All About Communication (and Also Yelling)"**: A funny reminder that communication is key in any relationship... even when it gets messy!
Remember to keep the tone light-hearted and playful, as the goal is to bring humor and joy to the couple's special day.
Here are some short and funny wedding poems:
1. "Today we stand as two,
United in love, and also in beer.
Our bond will grow with each passing year,
And our laughter will be the best cheer."
2. "We're not perfect, but we're a match,
Like peanut butter and jelly, or nacho and patch.
We'll laugh together, cry together too,
And make memories that are true blue."
3. "Love is in the air, and so are we,
Up in the clouds, where happily ever after be.
We'll dance, we'll sing, we'll laugh and play,
On this day of love, we're here to stay."
4. "Our love story begins with a 'yes',
A promise made, and a love that's true.
Through life's ups and downs, we'll face the test,
Together forever, in love's nest."
5. "I'm stuck on you like glue,
And I wouldn't have it any other way, boo!
We're a team, a pair, a perfect pair,
Together forever, without a single care."
6. "You're my partner in crime, my best friend true,
Together we'll make memories that are new.
We'll laugh, we'll love, and live life to the fullest,
With you by my side, my heart is most grateful."
7. "We've got our quirks, our flaws, our fears,
But with each other, we dispel all tears.
Our love is strong, our bond is tight,
Together forever, shining bright."
8. "Love is a many-splendored thing,
And ours is the biggest, most fantastical ring!
It's crazy, wild, and full of surprise,
But with you, my heart beats with joy and sighs."
9. "You're my sunshine on a cloudy day,
My partner in shenanigans, my best way.
We'll dance under the stars, hand in hand,
Together forever, in this love band."
10. "In your eyes, I see our future bright,
A life of laughter, love, and endless delight.
With you, my heart beats fast, it skips a beat,
Together forever, our love will repeat."
These poems are short, funny, and sweet, making them perfect for a wedding ceremony or reception.
Here are some short and funny wedding reading ideas that are perfect for friends:
1. "Love is like pizza: even when it's bad, it's still pretty good." - Unknown
2. "I love you more than I love my Xbox, and that's a lot." - Unknown
3. "You had me at hello... or at least after 5 minutes of arguing about who left the dishes in the sink." - Unknown
4. "Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness." - Oliver Wendell Holmes (with a wink)
5. "We may not be perfect, but together we're pretty darn great. And if all else fails, we have Netflix and wine." - Unknown
6. "You're my person. You're my partner in crime. You're my best friend. And you're the one I love to hate." - Unknown
7. "Marriage is a lot like a deck of cards. You start with two hearts and a diamond, but after a few rounds of Go Fish, it's more like a bunch of clubs and spades trying not to get trumped." - Unknown
8. "Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend." (Okay, okay, this one isn't so funny... just kidding! It's actually really profound!)
9. "We're two peas in a pod, or as we like to call it, 'two weirdos who somehow managed to make it work.'" - Unknown
10. "You know what they say: 'Love is blind.' And I believe that, because if it weren't for love, I would have seen the mess you left in the bathroom and run away screaming." - Unknown
Remember, these are just suggestions! You can always come up with your own funny reading or use a combination of quotes to create something unique. Just make sure it's respectful and not too cringeworthy (you know, for the grandparents).
A great topic! Here are some short and funny wedding readings that might be perfect for an older couple's special day:
1. **"Older, Wiser, Together"**
"Courtney and Michael, you've both lived a life full of adventure, laughter, and love. Now, you're here to seal the deal on your second (or third, or fourth) go-round at love. Congratulations! May this marriage be the best chapter yet."
[Read by a friend or family member]
2. **"The Wisdom of Age"**
"As you stand before God, your friends, and your loved ones today, remember that age is just a number... unless you're trying to get out of doing the cha cha slide at 3 am. Just kidding! You two are wise enough to know when to call it a night. Congratulations on your new chapter together!"
[Read by a friend or family member]
3. **"Experience, Wisdom, and Love"**
"Courtney and Michael, you've both lived through the best of times and the worst of times (hello, 80s hairdos!). Today, you're celebrating the love that's brought you to this moment. May your marriage be a masterclass in compromise, patience, and humor. Congratulations!"
[Read by a friend or family member]
4. **"The Golden Years... Together"**
"As you begin this new chapter together, remember that golden years are just that – golden! You two have earned the right to enjoy each other's company, share your wisdom, and make memories that'll last a lifetime. Congratulations on taking the next step in your love story!"
[Read by a friend or family member]
5. **"Love at First... Repeat"**
"Courtney and Michael, you're proof that love can happen at any age! After all, it's not like you're trying to relive your youth through your grandkids (although, let's be real, that's awesome too). You two are here to celebrate the love that's only grown stronger with time. Congratulations on your second chance at happiness!"
[Read by a friend or family member]
6. **"A Love That's Grown with Age"**
"As you stand before us today, remember that love is like a fine wine – it gets better with age! You two have spent decades perfecting the art of loving each other, and now it's time to seal the deal (or reseal the deal... or just enjoy the ride together). Congratulations on your special day!"
[Read by a friend or family member]
Remember to keep things light-hearted and playful, as these readings are meant to add humor and joy to the ceremony. Choose one that fits your couple's personality and style, and don't hesitate to modify it to fit your needs!
Here are some short and funny wedding readings suitable for a children's audience:
1. "The Best Thing About Marriage" by Robert Fulghum:
"This is the best thing about marriage: You never want to go to bed late, because you always want to get up early and start your day with the person you love. And that's a beautiful thing!"
(Suitable for kids aged 5-10)
2. "Marriage is a Adventure" by unknown author:
"Marriage is a adventure, with two people, on a journey together. With ups and downs, twists and turns, but most of all, it's an adventure to be shared with the one you love!"
(Suitable for kids aged 5-10)
3. "Love is Like a Puppy" by unknown author:
"Love is like a puppy. It wags its tail when you're happy, licks your face when you're sad, and snuggles up beside you when you're feeling lonely. And just like a puppy, it always comes back to you!"
(Suitable for kids aged 4-8)
4. "The Little Couple" by unknown author:
"The little couple went on an adventure one day. They held hands, they laughed, and they loved each other. And that's what marriage is all about: holding hands, laughing together, and loving each other every step of the way!"
(Suitable for kids aged 5-10)
Remember to keep it simple, short, and sweet, as children may not fully understand complex vocabulary or long sentences. You can also adapt these readings to fit your wedding's theme and tone!
Funny wedding readings are a great way to add some humor and personality to your special day. Here are some ideas for funny wedding readings that you can use on cards or even during the ceremony:
1. **The Oath of Mirth**: "I promise to love, honor, and make fun of you... just kidding (or am I?)"
2. **Wedding Wisdom**: "Marriage is like a pizza, even when things get messy, it's still delicious."
3. **Love in the Time of Laughter**: "You are the cream cheese to my bagel, the Merlot to my pizza night..."
4. **The Art of Marriage**: "I vow to love you more than I love Netflix... but let's be real, that might not be possible."
5. **A Funny Vow**: "I promise to always laugh at your jokes, even when they're not funny."
6. **Marriage Tips from a Pro**: "The key to a happy marriage is having someone who loves you more than pizza... and also having a good delivery guy."
7. **Love in the Digital Age**: "You are my partner in crime, my plus one, my Wi-Fi password..."
8. **A Joke a Minute**: "I promise not to laugh at your dad jokes, but let's be real, that might be hard."
9. **The Union of Awesome**: "We're joining our weirdness together to create an even more confusing and wonderful life."
10. **The Best is Yet to Come**: "Our love story is still being written... but I'm pretty sure it involves a lot of Netflix binges and pizza parties."
Remember, these are just suggestions! You can always come up with your own funny wedding readings that are personalized to your relationship and sense of humor.
You're referring to the famous poem "Marriage" by H.L. Mencken, also known as "A Marriage".
The poem begins:
"A has-been and a flop,
A pair of misfits, two out-of-work hops,
An old maid and an elderly bore,
A couple who'd never been in love before."
And goes on to describe the absurdity and chaos that can ensue when two people decide to spend the rest of their lives together. The poem is known for its humorous and sarcastic portrayal of marriage, poking fun at the expectations and conventions surrounding it.
Mencken's "Marriage" was first published in 1923 and has since become a classic of American satire. It's often cited as one of the greatest poems about marriage ever written.
Here's the full poem:
A has-been and a flop,
A pair of misfits, two out-of-work hops,
An old maid and an elderly bore,
A couple who'd never been in love before.
A match made in a madhouse or a zoo,
A union that was bound to break through,
The noise, the nonsense, the endless din,
The tears, the tantrums, the fits of the kin.
For married life is a perpetual jest,
A series of misadventures, and a test,
Of patience, of wit, of endurance, of might,
A daily round of battle, of fight, of flight.
But still they'll cling to each other tight,
Through joy and sorrow, through day and night,
For marriage is a form of mental disease,
And once you're hooked, there's no release."
I hope that helps! Do you have any specific questions about the poem or would you like me to analyze it further?