Here are some short, funny quotes about life:
1. "Life is like a pizza, even when it's bad, it's still pretty good."
2. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
3. "Life is short, but snacks are forever."
4. "Adulting is hard, but at least we have avocado toast."
5. "My life is a mess, but my hair looks great."
6. "Procrastination: the art of doing nothing efficiently."
7. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right... again."
8. "Life hack: use your phone as a flashlight to find your keys in the morning"
9. "I'm not late, I'm just fashionably delayed."
10. "The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else's blanket."
11. "My life is like a Netflix show – it's all about binge-watching and eating Cheetos."
12. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you limes, make margaritas."
13. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on pause... for the next 10 hours."
14. "Life is a journey, but the GPS keeps saying 'recalculating'."
15. "The only thing I'm good at is making excuses for why I'm late again."
These quotes are meant to be light-hearted and humorous, so take them with a grain of salt (or a pinch of sarcasm)!
I've got a treasure trove of those! Here are some very short and funny quotes:
1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
2. "Crazy people have more fun... or so they tell me."
3. "Procrastination is my superpower."
4. "My life is a mess, but at least the dishes are clean."
5. "Wine: because adulting is hard."
6. "I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving energy."
7. "Coffee: because mornings are awful."
8. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."
9. "My brain is 90% sarcastic and 10% actually thinking about things."
10. "Today's goals: eat pizza, watch Netflix, pretend to be a functioning member of society."
11. "I'm not a morning person... or an afternoon person... or an evening person..."
12. "Procrastination is the art of doing nothing efficiently."
13. "My favorite exercise is getting up off the couch."
14. "My life motto: 'I'll do it tomorrow... and the day after that... and maybe next week.'"
15. "Warning: I may be a little cranky today (or every day)."
Feel free to pick your favorite, or use them as inspiration to create your own very short funny quotes!
Here are some very short, funny quotes about life:
1. "Life is like a pizza, even when it's bad, it's still pretty good."
2. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
3. "Procrastination is my superpower."
4. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
5. "Life is short, but snacks are forever."
6. "I don't have a problem with commitment; I have a problem with people committing to me for too long."
7. "My life has been a series of poor decisions and good haircuts."
8. "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
9. "Life hack: just pretend you know what you're doing until you figure it out."
10. "I'm not a morning person; I'm not a night person; I'm a 'whenever the coffee kicks in' person."
11. "Adulting is overrated; can we just have a nap instead?"
12. "Life is like a box of chocolates – except sometimes the chocolates are awful and you're stuck with them."
13. "I don't have a bucket list; I have a list of things I'm too lazy to do."
14. "Life is short, but my attention span is even shorter."
15. "If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. If life gives you onions, just cry and eat the onion rings instead."
These quotes are meant to be humorous and lighthearted, so don't take them too seriously!
I've got a treasure trove of funny and crazy quotes for you! Here are some to get you started:
1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right." - Unknown
2. "Crazy people don't know they're crazy. That's what makes them so interesting." - Ellen DeGeneres
3. "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!" - Unknown
4. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode." - Unknown
5. "What if everything is fake and we're all just living in a simulation designed by aliens to study human behavior? Yeah, that's probably it..." - Steven Yeun (from The Walking Dead)
6. "Why do chicken coops have two doors? Because if they didn't, we'd be laughing at the wrong end!" - Unknown
7. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours." - Unknown
8. "The only thing more exhausting than a crazy person is a normal person trying to explain them to someone else." - Unknown
9. "I'm not arguing with you, I'm just explaining why I'm right and you're wrong. There's a difference." - Unknown
10. "What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!" - Unknown
And here are some crazy quotes that might blow your mind:
1. "The universe is a pretty big place. If it's just us, seems like an awful waste of space." - Carl Sagan
2. "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy." - William Shakespeare (Hamlet)
3. "The probability of you being here right now is 100%. The probability of the universe being conscious of this moment? Well, that's just crazy talk!" - Unknown
4. "What if I told you there was a way to make the impossible possible, but it would require you to be completely insane?" - Unknown
5. "The only thing more unlikely than winning the lottery is a chicken crossing the road... and then winning the lottery." - Unknown
Feel free to add your own favorite funny and crazy quotes!
I'd be happy to provide you with some funny and crazy quotes about life. Here are a few:
1. "Life is like a game of Jenga - you start with a solid foundation, but then you take turns removing pieces until it all comes crashing down."
2. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference."
3. "Life is short, but the wait for pizza delivery can be an eternity."
4. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode. Like your phone, but without the notifications."
5. "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried and claim victory."
And here are a few more:
1. "Life is like riding a bike - except the bike is on fire and you're going uphill."
2. "I'm not saying I'm paranoid, but I've taken to locking my car doors when I'm in it."
3. "If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. If life gives you limes, make margaritas."
4. "The only thing more exhausting than being tired is pretending to be awake."
5. "Life is like a box of chocolates - except the chocolates are actually just small pieces of disappointment and regret."
And finally:
1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."
2. "The best way to get started with a new project is to quit everything else first."
3. "If life is a puzzle, mine is missing the instructions and most of the pieces are actually broken."
4. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on a long-term energy-saving plan... that's going to last for the next 5-10 years."
5. "Life is like being stuck in an elevator - except there's no help button and you're out of snacks."
I hope these quotes made you laugh!
I've got some great ones for you! Here are some laugh-out-loud funny quotes that also convey valuable life lessons:
1. "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what kind of mess you'll find inside." - Forrest Gump (Lesson: Life is unpredictable, but it's how we handle the messes that matters!)
2. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right." - Unknown (Lesson: Communication is key, and sometimes we need to listen more than we need to be heard.)
3. "Adulting is like playing a video game, except instead of leveling up, you level down in terms of life satisfaction." - Unknown (Lesson: Growing up doesn't always mean getting better; it's okay to struggle!)
4. "I don't know what the future holds, but I do know that the past was awesome... and also terrible... and also kind of boring sometimes." - Unknown (Lesson: Embrace the uncertainty of life and focus on learning from your experiences.)
5. "My therapist says I have a fear of intimacy. What's the point of having a fear if you can't even make fun of it?" - Unknown (Lesson: Self-awareness is crucial, but don't be afraid to poke fun at yourself too!)
6. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode. Like your phone." - Unknown (Lesson: It's okay to take a break and recharge; prioritizing self-care is important!)
7. "If you're not getting any younger, but you're still having fun, does that mean you're getting older or wiser?" - Unknown (Lesson: Age is just a number; wisdom comes from experience and perspective.)
8. "I'm not arguing with you, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours." - Unknown (Lesson: Communication is a two-way street; listen to others' perspectives too!)
9. "My life is like a puzzle, except instead of pieces fitting together, they're all stuck in the box and won't come out." - Unknown (Lesson: Sometimes things don't go as planned, but that's okay – we can still find joy in the journey.)
10. "I'm not saying I'm a morning person, but if I was, I'd be on time for once." - Unknown (Lesson: We all have our strengths and weaknesses; embracing your quirks is part of being human!)
These quotes are meant to poke fun at life's ups and downs while also offering valuable lessons. Remember to laugh at yourself and not take things too seriously – it's a wild ride, but we can navigate it with humor and humility!
I've got some great ones for you! Here are some laugh-out-loud funny quotes about life and struggles:
1. "Life is like a puzzle, except when you finally find the missing piece, it turns out to be a picture of your ex."
2. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode... like my phone."
3. "Adulting is hard, but pretending to be an adult is even harder."
4. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you a participation trophy, just cry yourself to sleep."
5. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right... repeatedly."
6. "Procrastination is my superpower. With great power comes great procrastination."
7. "Life hack: when in doubt, order pizza and pretend it's a productive meal."
8. "My struggles are so real, even Netflix knows about them."
9. "When you're feeling down, just remember that someone out there is having a worse day... or at least that's what I tell myself."
10. "I'm not saying I'm lazy, but I once saw a snail get to its destination before me."
11. "Life is like a rollercoaster – except the rollercoaster doesn't have a seatbelt, and you're stuck in traffic, and there's no coffee available... yet it's still thrilling!"
12. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."
13. "Adulting is like trying to solve a math problem – except the numbers are lies, and the answer is always ' pizza'."
14. "Procrastination is when you're waiting for the perfect moment to start doing something, but in reality, it's just because you're scared of failure."
15. "Life hack: when in doubt, put on a funny hat and pretend you meant to do that."
16. "When life gives you rainbows and butterflies, make a rainbow-colored smoothie with butterfly-shaped ice cubes."
17. "I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving energy... for binge-watching TV shows."
18. "Life is like a game of Jenga – except the blocks are made of anxiety, and you're trying to hold them together without losing your grip on reality."
19. "Procrastination is when you know you should be doing something important, but Netflix has a new show... and it's so good!"
20. "Life hack: when in doubt, just shout 'I'm not arguing!' and walk away."
Hope these quotes made you laugh and brightened your day!
I'd love to share some extremely funny quotes with you! Here are a few:
1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right." - Unknown
2. "Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!" - Unknown
3. "I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised." - Steve Martin
4. "Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up!" - Unknown
5. "What's the difference between a hippie and a hillbilly? One is green and goes to Woodstock, and the other is red and goes to Walmart!" - Unknown
6. "I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't make a difference." - Mitch Hedberg
7. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode." - Unknown
8. "Why don't lobsters share? Because they're shellfish!" - Unknown
9. "What's the definition of a terrorist? Someone who can't get a good job." - Robin Williams
10. "I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!" - Steven Wright
And here are some quotes that might make you laugh because they're so ridiculous:
1. "I'm not saying I'm a vegetarian, but if I were a steak, I'd be a filet mignon with a side of mashed potatoes." - Unknown
2. "I just learned the secret to flying: you have to throw yourself at the ground and miss!" - Charlie Brown
3. "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!" - Unknown
4. "What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!" - Unknown
5. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours." - Unknown
I hope these quotes bring a smile to your face!