I've got some short and funny quotes to make you LOL!
1. I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
2. Cereal killer: I'm not a morning person.
3. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
4. Don't care much for the weather, but it's always something.
5. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
6. My life is like a puzzle, except the pieces are all missing and the box is broken.
7. Can you believe this? Me neither!
8. I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode.
9. The best way to get the perfect selfie is to photobomb it with your cat.
10. I've been wondering why someone didn't invent a machine that turns thoughts into reality. Then I realized it's called Facebook!
I'd love to help you with that! Here are some very short and funny quotes:
1. "Cats are like potato chips, can't eat just one."
2. "My life is a mess, but at least my room is clean."
3. "Why do I need an alarm clock when I have a cat?"
4. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
5. "What's the point of having a beach body if you're going to be covered up with clothes?"
6. "My cat's idea of exercise is walking from the couch to the food bowl."
7. "Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?"
8. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
9. "What's a 4-letter word for 'yes'?" (Answer: "Aye")
10. "I'm not late, I'm fashionably delayed."
11. "Why do we have to proofread? We're not trying to win a Pulitzer Prize!"
12. "Why do cats always land on their feet?"
13. "My cat's favorite game is 'Find the Laser Pointer and Try to Eat It'."
14. "What's the point of having a superpower if you can't use it for personal gain?"
15. "Why do we need to brush our teeth twice a day? Can't we just do it once... in the shower?"
Hope these short and funny quotes brought a smile to your face!
I've got a collection of funny and crazy quotes that'll make you laugh, cringe, or both!
1. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode." - Unknown
2. "I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised." - Steve Martin
3. "Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!" - Unknown
4. "I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't matter." - Mitch Hedberg
5. "I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!" - Unknown
6. "Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up!" - Unknown
7. "I went to a restaurant and the sign said, 'Breakfast Anytime.' So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance." - Steven Wright
8. "What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, and the other is a little lighter." - Unknown
9. "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!" - Unknown
10. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference." - Unknown
11. "What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!" - Unknown
12. "I'm not saying my wife is a bad cook, but she made me eat a shoe once." - Unknown
13. "Why don't lobsters share? Because they're shellfish!" - Unknown
14. "What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end, and the other is just a pause." - Unknown
15. "I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving energy... for my next nap." - Unknown
These quotes are sure to bring a smile (or a groan) to your face!
Here are some very short, funny quotes about life:
1. "Life is like a puzzle. Most of the time you have no idea what the picture is supposed to be."
2. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference."
3. "Adulting is hard, but at least we can eat ice cream for dinner."
4. "Life hack: Just pretend you're a cat. It's way easier that way."
5. "The only thing more exhausting than working is not working."
6. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
7. "Why do we fall in love with people who are bad for us? Because they're just so good at being bad."
8. "Life is like a game of Jenga. One wrong move and it all comes crashing down."
9. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."
10. "What's the difference between a hippie and a hipster? One loves peace and love, the other loves being ironic about loving peace and love."
11. "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it... or how much ice cream you eat."
12. "If at first you don't succeed, hide all evidence that you tried."
13. "Don't worry about the future, or worry about it - either way you'll be wrong."
14. "Life is a series of moments. Most are boring, some are exciting, and others are 'what did I just do?'"
15. "If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen... but honestly, I'd rather eat leftovers for dinner."
I hope these short funny quotes about life bring a smile to your face!
Laughter is the best medicine, after all! Here are some laugh-out-loud funny quotes for adults:
1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right." - Unknown
2. "Why do people always ask 'How was your day?' when they don't really want to know?" - Dave Barry
3. "I'm at an age where my back goes out more often than I do." - Phyllis Diller
4. "The only thing we have to fear is running out of wine." - Unknown
5. "Adulting: because you can't just blame it on your cat anymore." - Unknown
6. "I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving energy... for my couch." - Unknown
7. "Why do married people look at each other like they're trying to solve a math problem?" - Unknown
8. "The only thing I regret is wasting time on things that don't matter now that I'm older." - Warren Buffett
9. "My therapist told me to stop saying 'I'm fine' when I'm not fine. So, I'm not fine." - Unknown
10. "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone... and then you realize it's just a myth perpetuated by fitness influencers." - Unknown
11. "The only thing more exhausting than being an adult is pretending to be one." - Unknown
12. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours." - Unknown
13. "What's the difference between a 'midlife crisis' and a 'quarter-life crisis'? One's got fewer years left to make poor life choices?" - Unknown
14. "If at first you don't succeed, hide all evidence that you tried." - Unknown
15. "My marriage is like a game of Jenga – except instead of blocks, we're using our sanity and sense of humor." - Unknown
16. "The only thing I'm better at than my parents are: 1) Using the internet, 2) Making poor life choices, and 3) Being embarrassed by their generation's music taste." - Unknown
17. "If you can't find what you're looking for, try asking Siri... or your cat. They'll both give you weird answers." - Unknown
18. "Adulting is hard – but at least we have Netflix to help us forget our problems... and also forget that we're adults." - Unknown
19. "The only thing more painful than getting older is realizing how much I've wasted my youth watching cat videos." - Unknown
20. "If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space – or at least that's what my therapist told me... after she charged me $200 an hour for it." - Unknown
I hope these quotes give you a good laugh and remind you that even as adults, we can still be silly and have fun!
I've got some hilarious ones for you! Here are some laugh-out-loud funny quotes about life:
1. "Life is like a piano. What you get depends on how you play it." - Unknown
2. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference." - Unknown
3. "Adulting is hard, but eating pizza for breakfast is easy." - Unknown
4. "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone." - Neale Donald Walsch
5. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then, throw it in someone's face because why not?" - Unknown
6. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode." - Unknown
7. "Life is short, but snail mail is forever." - Unknown
8. "Procrastination is like a credit card: it's a lot of fun until you get the bill." - Unknown
9. "What's the point of being an adult if you can't eat cereal for dinner?" - Unknown
10. "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. Unless you're allergic to bees, in which case it's 100% how you react." - Unknown
11. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours." - Unknown
12. "Life is like a box of chocolates: you never know what kind of weirdo you're going to get stuck with." - Forrest Gump
13. "When life gives you rainbows and butterflies, make a mess because that's just more fun." - Unknown
14. "Problems are like pizzas – even when they're bad, they can still be kinda good." - Unknown
15. "Life is like a choose-your-own-adventure book: except the choices are mostly 'do I take out the trash or just leave it'." - Unknown
I hope these quotes made you LOL!
I've got some good ones for you!
1. "Life is like a piano. What you get depends on how you play it."
2. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference."
3. "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!"
4. "Life is short, but snails leave their shells behind."
5. "What's the point of having superpowers if you're not going to use them for good?"
6. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
7. "Life is like a box of chocolates - you never know what kind of crazy you'll get."
8. "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
9. "Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fun-gi!"
10. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."
11. "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it... or in my case, 100% how you react to it because life has nothing to do with me."
12. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. But when life gives you limes, make margaritas."
13. "I'm not a morning person. I'm not a night person. I'm an 'whenever the coffee kicks in' person."
14. "Life is like playing the guitar - it takes practice to be good, but anyone can play."
15. "What's the difference between a pizza and a pancake? A pizza has toppings, and a pancake has toppings too... if you're a crazy person like me!"
16. "I'm not saying I'm addicted to Netflix, but my therapist is getting concerned about my 'binge-watching' habits."
17. "Life is short, so make it a good story."
18. "Why did the computer go to therapy? It had a little glitch!"
19. "What's the point of having a pet rock if you're just going to keep it in a jar?"
20. "I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving energy for more important things... like my next nap."
These quotes are sure to bring a smile (or a laugh) to your face!
Humor is subjective, but here are some extremely funny quotes that might tickle your funny bone:
1. "I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised." - Steve Wright
2. "Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!" - Unknown
3. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference." - Sam Harris
4. "What's the difference between a hippie and a hillbilly? One is from San Francisco, and the other is from Kentucky." - Bill Engvall
5. "I love being married. Married people are so much happier than single people. Even when we're unhappy, we're happy because we're married." - Rita Rudain
6. "Why do chicken coops have two doors? Because if they didn't, we'd be fowl!" - Unknown
7. "My therapist told me I was too hard on myself. So I started writing self-compassionate letters and burning them. Now I'm just a little smoky." - Michael Ian Black
8. "I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't make a difference." - Mitch Hedberg
9. "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!" - Unknown
10. "What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta." - Unknown
11. "I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!" - Steve Martin
12. "Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!" - Unknown
13. "My wife is a great painter. She can paint anything: houses, flowers, trees... even the occasional cat." - Dennis Miller
14. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode." - Unknown
15. "What do you call a bear with no socks on? Barefoot!" - Unknown
Remember, humor is personal, so what one person finds hilarious, another might not find amusing. But hey, that's the beauty of humor – it's subjective and can bring people together!