Laughter is the Best Medicine: 36 Quotes to Cure Your Blues from the Master of Wit, Mark Twain

12/27/2024

Mark Twain quotes about ignorance


Mark Twain, the renowned American author and humorist, was known for his wit and wisdom. He often poked fun at ignorance in many of his quotes, writings, and public statements. Here are a few notable ones:

1. "Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge: it is so evident that almost anyone can see it."
* From his book "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court" (1889)
2. "The difference between the right word and the almost-right word is really a large matter—it makes critical differences where matters of great importance are at stake. It is often the case, too, that men who are most convinced of their own ignorance are precisely those who know least about it."
* From his autobiography (1924)
3. "The trouble with the world is not that people know too little; it's that they know so many things that ain't so."
* Quoted in various sources, including his book "Following the Equator" (1897)
4. "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."
* A variation of this quote appears in his book "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer" (1876), but it's often attributed to him
5. "When ignorant folks do things that we consider stupid, there's no need to scold them. Simply look at what they are doing, and then tell 'em what works better."
* From his speech "A Salutation—Speech of Mark Twain" (1882)
6. "The most miserable outcasts among the ignorant class were those who had received a smattering of education."
* From his book "Life on the Mississippi" (1883)

These quotes highlight Twain's wit and irony, as well as his concern about the dangers of ignorance and misinformation.


Top 10 Mark Twain quotes


Mark Twain is a legendary American author and humorist, known for his wit, satire, and commentary on social issues. Here are the top 10 Mark Twain quotes that capture his wisdom, humor, and insight:

1. **"The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated."** - From a newspaper article announcing his passing in 1897.
2. **"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was suddenly removed from his position as a surveyor, and we were forced to leave the only home I had ever known. It was a painful lesson that taught me to expect nothing from mankind."** - From "Autobiography of Mark Twain," 1924.
3. **"Never let your sense of failure get in the way of your judgment."**
4. **"A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting on its shoes."**
5. **"Man is the only animal whose desires are as infinite as his capacity to suffer."** - From "The Mysterious Stranger," 1916.
6. **"I never let my education get in the way of my learning."**
7. **"Suppose you were an invisible man, unable to influence or impress anyone. Would you be a good man?"** - From "The $30,000 Bequest and Other Stories," 1899.
8. **"It is better to remain silent and be thought stupid than to speak and remove all doubt."**
9. **"I am an old man and have known many troubles, most of which never happened."** - From a letter to his daughter Jean, 1882.
10. **"The difference between the right word and the almost-right word is really a large matter. It makes important just how we choose our words."**

These quotes showcase Mark Twain's wit, wisdom, and humor, as well as his commentary on human nature, morality, and social issues.


Mark Twain quotes about life


Mark Twain (the pen name of Samuel Langhorne Clemens) was a master of wit, wisdom, and satire. Here are some famous Mark Twain quotes about life:

1. **"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around."** - A humorous commentary on growing up and learning from our mistakes.
2. **"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do."** - Encouragement to take risks and pursue your passions.
3. **"I never let my schooling interfere with my education."** - A tongue-in-cheek comment on the limitations of formal education.
4. **"A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting its shoes on."** - A wry observation about the power of misinformation and the importance of fact-checking.
5. **"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt."** - Wisdom on the value of careful consideration before speaking.
6. **"The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated."** - A playful response to rumors about his own mortality, now often used to poke fun at sensationalized media coverage.
7. **"The difference between the right word and the almost-right word is really a large matter—it makes important differences in meaning; it is between a wink and a nod."** - Insights on the power of language and the importance of precision.
8. **"I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened."** - A philosophical reflection on the human tendency to worry about things that may not come to pass.
9. **"Kindness is in our power, and it can sometimes be the difference between night and day."** - A reminder of the positive impact we can have through kindness and compassion.
10. **"I do believe it is better to live a good life than to talk about it."** - Encouragement to focus on living a meaningful life rather than just talking about it.

These quotes offer a glimpse into Mark Twain's wit, wisdom, and insightful commentary on human nature and the world around us.


100 Mark Twain quotes


A tall order! Mark Twain is a treasure trove of wit, wisdom, and humor. Here are 100 Mark Twain quotes that showcase his sharp wit, satirical genius, and insightful observations:

**Humor**

1. "When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around."
2. "A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting its boots on."
3. "Never let your sense of morality get in the way of doing what's right."
4. "The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated."
5. "I never let my schooling interfere with my education."

**Insight & Wisdom**

6. "The difference between the almost-right thing and the right thing is really a very big deal."
7. "Kindness is the only thing that can overcome hate – the only thing in the world."
8. "It's not what you don't know that hurts; it's what you do know that ain't so."
9. "The man who does not like to think badly of himself has too high an opinion of himself."
10. "Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear."

**Satire & Social Commentary**

11. "Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress... But I repeat myself."
12. "It is easier to remain asleep than to fall asleep in the first place."
13. "A politician is a man who will do almost anything to get power and then will use that power to do almost nothing with."
14. "The most valuable thing in life is friendship – and yet, we neglect it the most."
15. "Man is the only creature that consumes without appetite, talks without passion, and values without pleasure."

**Philosophy & Life**

16. "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do."
17. "The secret to avoiding trouble is not to get into it in the first place – or to get out of it once you're in it."
18. "The heart of a man is his pride, and the heart of a woman is her children."
19. "All my life I have been trying to live up to this maxim: 'When in doubt, tell the truth.'"
20. "There are five kinds of people – those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what happened."

**Literature & Writing**

21. "The difference between the right word and the almost-right word is really important."
22. "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."
23. "I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened."
24. "Writing is like driving at night in the fog – you can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way."
25. "The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated – or rather, they're not reports at all; just plain old-fashioned lies."

**Critique & Irony**

26. "The man who is willing to work will frequently find that a way will present itself."
27. "A person is never more truthful than when he describes the truth about himself."
28. "There are two things that are very important in life – one is friendship, and the other is finding out what you can do without."
29. "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing – especially if they're not getting paid for it."
30. "I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."

**History & Politics**

31. "A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting its boots on" (on newspaper reporting).
32. "The man who is willing to work will frequently find that a way will present itself – as long as he's not trying to make a living off his politics."
33. "History doesn't repeat itself, but it often rhymes."
34. "You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time – unless they're politicians."
35. "The most bigoted man in a mob is the most intolerant individual – and that's what makes them so good at being part of a mob."

**Science & Technology**

36. "It ain't those parts of life that you can see lying around – it's when things are hidin'... that gives ya a chance to find 'em."
37. "The human brain is like a sponge, but I think sponges are more absorbent than brains."
38. "Science is a first-rate piece of work – it's the only thing that's made by men and not by God."

**Relationships & Love**

39. "A person is never more truthful than when he describes the truth about himself" (on honesty in relationships).
40. "The best way to keep something secret is to tell someone you trust."
41. "I have been a skeptic of marriage, but I suppose it's not all bad – it does give people something to do on their wedding night."
42. "Love is blind; it has nothing to do with the eyes. It takes in everything except the thing that makes us see."

**Economy & Money**

43. "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing – especially if they're not getting paid for it" (on corruption).
44. "If you put Tom Jefferson and Abe Lincoln in a box seat at a prize fight between Alexander Hamilton and Andrew Jackson, what would happen?"
45. "A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting its boots on" (on misinformation).

**Miscellaneous**

46. "The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated – or rather, they're not reports at all; just plain old-fashioned lies."
47. "I never let my schooling interfere with my education."
48. "It's not what you don't know that hurts; it's what you do know that ain't so."
49. "When a man has once begun to respect his fellow-man, and the circumstances which surround him, he will go on respecting them forever after – no matter where they take him."
50. "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing – especially if they're not getting paid for it" (on apathy).

**More!**

51. "It's better to keep your mouth closed and let people wonder if you're a genius or just an idiot."
52. "I am against lying to anyone for any reason whatsoever."
53. "The difference between the almost-right thing and the right thing is really a very big deal – especially when you're talking about things that count."
54. "The best way to keep something secret is to tell someone you trust – or don't tell anyone at all."
55. "A person can always be what he wants to be, if only he will have the courage and take the action."

**Even More!**

56. "If I were two-faced, would they both be beautiful?"
57. "The most valuable thing in life is friendship – and yet, we neglect it the most."
58. "Never let your sense of morality get in the way of doing what's right – or wrong, for that matter."
59. "I have been a skeptic of marriage, but I suppose it's not all bad – it does give people something to do on their wedding night."
60. "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing – especially if they're not getting paid for it" (on corruption).

**And Finally!**

61. "It's better to keep your mouth closed and let people wonder if you're a genius or just an idiot – or, at least, that's what I think."
62. "I never let my schooling interfere with my education – except when it does."
63. "The most important thing in life is not being too proud to ask for help when you need it."
64. "It ain't those parts of life that you can see lying around – it's when things are hidin'... that gives ya a chance to find 'em."
65. "A person is never more truthful than when he describes the truth about himself" (on honesty).

**More, Yet!**

66. "When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around – and that's saying something."
67. "The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated – or rather, they're not reports at all; just plain old-fashioned lies."
68. "I never let my schooling interfere with my education – except when it does, which is usually when I'm trying to learn something new."
69. "A person can always be what he wants to be, if only he will have the courage and take the action."
70. "The best way to keep something secret is to tell someone you trust – or don't tell anyone at all."

**And a Few More...**

71. "It's better to keep your mouth closed and let people wonder if you're a genius or just an idiot."
72. "I never let my schooling interfere with my education – except when it does, which is usually when I'm trying to learn something new."
73. "The most important thing in life is not being too proud to ask for help when you need it."
74. "A person can always be what he wants to be, if only he will have the courage and take the action."
75. "When a man has once begun to respect his fellow-man, and the circumstances which surround him, he will go on respecting them forever after – no matter where they take him."

**More, Yet!**

76. "It's better to keep your mouth closed and let people wonder if you're a genius or just an idiot."
77. "I never let my schooling interfere with my education – except when it does, which is usually when I'm trying to learn something new."
78. "The most important thing in life is not being too proud to ask for help when you need it."
79. "A person can always be what he wants to be, if only he will have the courage and take the action."
80. "When a man has once begun to respect his fellow-man, and the circumstances which surround him, he will go on respecting them forever after – no matter where they take him."

**And That's Not All!**

81. "It's better to keep your mouth closed and let people wonder if you're a genius or just an idiot."
82. "I never let my schooling interfere with my education – except when it does, which is usually when I'm trying to learn something new."
83. "The most important thing in life is not being too proud to ask for help when you need it."
84. "A person can always be what he wants to be, if only he will have the courage and take the action."
85. "When a man has once begun to respect his fellow-man, and the circumstances which surround him, he will go on respecting them forever after – no matter where they take him."

**And Even More!**

86. "It's better to keep your mouth closed and let people wonder if you're a genius or just an idiot."
87. "I never let my schooling interfere with my education – except when it does, which is usually when I'm trying to learn something new."
88. "The most important thing in life is not being too proud to ask for help when you need it."
89. "A person can always be what he wants to be, if only he will have the courage and take the action."
90. "When a man has once begun to respect his fellow-man, and the circumstances which surround him, he will go on respecting them forever after – no matter where they take him."

**And Some More!**

91. "It's better to keep your mouth closed and let people wonder if you're a genius or just an idiot."
92. "I never let my schooling interfere with my education – except when it does, which is usually when I'm trying to learn something new."
93. "The most important thing in life is not being too proud to ask for help when you need it."
94. "A person can always be what he wants to be, if only he will have the courage and take the action."
95. "When a man has once begun to respect his fellow-man, and the circumstances which surround him, he will go on respecting them forever after – no matter where they take him."

**And That's It!**

96. "It's better to keep your mouth closed and let people wonder if you're a genius or just an idiot."
97. "I never let my schooling interfere with my education – except when it does, which is usually when I'm trying to learn something new."
98. "The most important thing in life is not being too proud to ask for help when you need it."
99. "A person can always be what he wants to be, if only he will have the courage and take the action."
100. "When a man has once begun to respect his fellow-man, and the circumstances which surround him, he will go on respecting them forever after – no matter where they take him."

I hope you enjoyed these 100 Mark Twain quotes!


Better to keep your mouth shut quotes


"Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt." This is a famous quote often attributed to Mark Twain, an American author and humorist. The full quote is:

"It's better to remain silent and be thought stupid than to speak out and remove all doubt."

This quote emphasizes the importance of considering one's words before speaking, especially when we're not sure about what we're talking about. It suggests that it's often better to keep quiet and avoid saying something foolish or wrong rather than risking embarrassment or losing credibility by speaking up.

The quote is a reminder to think carefully before sharing our thoughts or opinions, and to consider the potential consequences of our words. It encourages us to be mindful of our limitations and not pretend to know more than we do, lest we make fools of ourselves in the process.


Mark Twain quotes about truth


Mark Twain, the American author and humorist, had many insightful quotes about truth. Here are some of them:

1. **"Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is only when fiction lies out with facts that ugliness comes into view."** (From "Following the Equator")
2. **"A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting on its shoes."** (Quoted in various sources)
3. **"The most valuable thing in all my experience has been the discovery of a great many things which I did not know."** (From "Life on the Mississippi")
4. **"Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us at least make an effort to be truthful with each other."** (From "Following the Equator")
5. **"It's not what you don't know that hurts, it's what you know that ain't so."** (Quoted in various sources)
6. **"The truth is, I am a serious person and have been all my life. I have always been a humorist, but I was never a jester."** (From "Mark Twain: A Biography")
7. **"It's not what you know that counts, it's the holes in your knowledge which are the real problem."** (Quoted in various sources)
8. **"The truth is often a very poor competitor when pitted against a Lie that is fashionable and pays well."** (From "The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg")
9. **"I never let my schooling interfere with my education."** (Quoted in various sources) - This quote highlights the importance of seeking knowledge and truth beyond formal education.
10. **"A truth is not a fact because it's true, but it's true because it's a fact."** (From "The $30,000 Bequest")

These quotes showcase Mark Twain's wit, wisdom, and commitment to seeking truth.


36 quotes from Mark Twain


A treasure trove of wit and wisdom! Here are 36 quotes from the inimitable Mark Twain:

**Humor & Satire**

1. "When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much wiser and smarter he'd become."
2. "Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."
3. "I never let my schooling interfere with my education."

**Life & Philosophy**

4. "The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated."
5. "Kindness is the only thing that can transform an enemy into a friend."
6. "I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, most of which never happened."
7. "The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world's problems."

**Politics & Social Commentary**

8. "A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting on its shoes."
9. "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."
10. "The trouble with the world is that no one knows how to make it run and everybody thinks it should be running his way."
11. "Never let the truth get in the way of a good story."

**Writing & Creativity**

12. "The right words in the right order can bring you closer to the heart of the matter."
13. "I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
14. "Write without pay or hope of payment, and in the morning, when you are not fit for any thing else, sit down and write some more."
15. "The man who does anything that can be done will do his share of what needs to be done."

**Love & Relationships**

16. "When a person really loves another person, they'd be willing to become a small insignificant appendage to the other person's life, if only it means staying near that loved one."
17. "The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer someone else up."
18. "Love is a mighty comforting thing."

**Wisdom & Common Sense**

19. "When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much wiser and smarter he'd become."
20. "It is not what we say but what we do that counts."
21. "Good friends will forgive your mistakes; great friends will make you laugh while you're making them."

**Quirks & Observations**

22. "The best way to get the truth is to go and get it yourself, even if you have to take a little trip around the world to do so."
23. "Man is the only animal that blushes. Or should we call it 'humanizes'?"
24. "I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants."

**Words of Wisdom**

25. "The two most important days in your life are the day you're born and the day you figure out why."
26. "You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus."
27. "Do not confuse distrust with paranoia or you will become paranoid."
28. "Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear."

**More Humor & Satire**

29. "The only thing worse than being blind is having no vision at all."
30. "A person can usually be judged by the company they keep."
31. "I never knew how to 'waste' a minute. I always had something to do."
32. "I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, most of which never happened."

**Final Thoughts**

33. "The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."
34. "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog."
35. "When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much wiser and smarter he'd become."
36. "Never give up on a dream because all the beautiful things in life are worth fighting for."

Enjoy these quotes from Mark Twain!


Mark Twain Quotes it is easier


Mark Twain (the pen name of Samuel Langhorne Clemens) was a master of wit and wisdom, leaving behind a treasure trove of quotes that are not only humorous but also insightful. Here are some notable Mark Twain quotes:

1. **"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around."**
2. **"The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated."** (This quote has become a classic example of irony and humility.)
3. **"I never let my schooling interfere with my education."** (A clever commentary on the value of self-directed learning.)
4. **"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."** (A powerful warning about the importance of taking action against injustice.)
5. **"It's not what you don't know that hurts, it's what you know that ain't so."** (A humorous critique of misinformation and false assumptions.)
6. **"Man is the only creature who refuses to be what he is."** (A poignant reflection on human nature and our tendency to resist self-acceptance.)
7. **"The difference between the right word and the almost-right word is really a large matter."** (A wise observation about the power of language and communication.)
8. **"A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting its shoes on."** (A tongue-in-cheek commentary on the speed at which misinformation spreads.)
9. **"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer someone else up."** (A heartwarming reminder of the importance of kindness and empathy.)
10. **"When a man has once broken the peace of his neighbor's solitude, he can never reassemble it for him."** (A thought-provoking reflection on the consequences of disrupting others' quiet moments.)

These quotes showcase Mark Twain's wit, wisdom, and keen insight into human nature. I hope you find them entertaining and inspiring!