I've got some short, sassy, and savage quotes that are sure to bring a smile (and maybe a little bit of eye-rolling) to your face! Here are some funny ones:
1. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
2. "If you can't take the heat, stay out of my kitchen."
3. "I don't always drink, but when I do, I prefer wine... and complaining about it."
4. "You're so busy trying to be perfect, you forgot how to have fun."
5. "Don't @ me, I'm not here for your opinions."
6. "If you can't handle the sass, then take a seat."
7. "I don't need a map, I just need my sense of direction... and Google Maps."
8. "You're not lazy, you're just on pause."
9. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
10. "Don't get it twisted, I'm not mean, I'm just passionately expressing my dislike for your opinions."
11. "I don't have a bad memory, I just choose to forget all the things you did wrong."
12. "If you can't handle the truth, then you shouldn't have asked me what time it is."
13. "You're not fat, you're just... fluffy."
14. "Don't @ me with your 'what's wrong with being kind' nonsense, I'm a savage and proud of it."
15. "If you can't handle the sass, then don't look at my Instagram stories."
Remember, these quotes are meant to be humorous and not taken seriously!
I've got some short, funny, and savage quotes for you! Here are a few:
1. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
2. "Procrastination is my superpower."
3. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
4. "If I wanted to be popular, I'd have run for prom queen."
5. "My therapist says I have anger issues. My therapist also says I have a lot of feelings."
6. "Don't @ me. I'm too busy being correct."
7. "I'm not late, I'm just fashionably delayed."
8. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you kale, make a salad and pretend it's okay."
9. "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
10. "My apologies for being a little extra today. I had to compensate for my lack of talent."
11. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."
12. "Don't get too close, I'm still trying to figure out who I am and where I put my keys."
13. "If you can't take the heat, stay out of my kitchen... or at least don't try to steal my snacks."
14. "Life is short, but my temper is longer."
15. "I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving energy... for more important things... like Netflix."
16. "When in doubt, add glitter and hope it makes everything okay."
17. "Don't get too comfortable, you're probably going to get kicked out of here anyway."
18. "If you can't handle the truth, then don't ask me how my day was."
19. "My favorite word is 'no'. It's so versatile."
20. "I'm not arguing, I'm just stating my facts... and ignoring your opinion."
Remember, these quotes are meant to be humorous and relatable. Please don't take them too seriously or use them as actual advice!
I've got some sassy and savage quote ideas that are perfect for Instagram:
1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. #Savage"
2. "Don't @ me, I'm not sorry."
3. "When you're trying to adult but really you're just a hot mess"
4. "My therapist says I need to work on my anger issues. Meanwhile, everyone else needs to work on their patience issues"
5. "I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving energy... for eating cookies"
6. "Don't ask me what I did today, because you won't believe it and honestly, I don't want to admit it either"
7. "When people say 'good job' but really they're saying 'wow, that was surprisingly good considering your track record'"
8. "My life is a mess, but my hair looks great, so that's something"
9. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours"
10. "When you finally realize that adulting is just making excuses for being late to work and calling it 'fashionably delayed'"
11. "My anxiety is telling me to panic, but my sass is telling me to calm down and reapply lip gloss"
12. "Don't get it twisted, I'm not a morning person, I'm a coffee person"
13. "When you're trying to be mature but your inner child is still playing with Play-Doh"
14. "My therapist says I need to work on my trust issues. Meanwhile, everyone else needs to work on their honesty issues "
15. "I'm not lazy, I'm just allergic to mornings and responsibility"
16. "When people say 'be positive' but really they mean 'stop complaining all the time'"
17. "Don't ask me what I did last night, because you won't believe it and honestly, I don't want to admit it either"
18. "My life is a hot mess, but my hair looks great, so that's something"
19. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right... again"
20. "When you realize that being an adult means pretending to know what you're doing even when you have no idea"
Feel free to copy-paste or modify these quotes to fit your Instagram style!
I've got some Sassy Savage quotes that are sure to bring a smile (or a laugh) to her face!
1. "Don't @ me, I'm done with the drama."
2. "If you can't handle the heat, get out of my kitchen...and don't come back until you're prepared for some sassy sauce"
3. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference"
4. "You want a piece of me? Bring it on, savage style!"
5. "Life is too short to waste on haters and bad Wi-Fi "
6. "Don't make me come over there and give you a piece of my mind...because trust me, you don't want that"
7. "I'm not sassy, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while simultaneously kicking your butt"
8. "If you can't love yourself, how in the heck are you gonna love me? Get it together, savage!"
9. "Don't @ me with your negativity, I'm trying to manifest some good vibes over here"
10. "You want to play games? Let's play 'Who Can Be the Saggiest'...I've got this one on lock"
Hope these quotes make her day a little brighter and more savage!
Here are some funny and savage quotes that you can use on Instagram:
**Sassy and Savage**
1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
2. "My love life is like a horror movie: it's always a monster"
3. "When bae says they're tired but really mean 'I don't wanna hang out with you'"
4. "If you can't handle the heat, stay out of my kitchen... and don't even think about touching my snacks"
5. "When people say 'good morning' but it's already 3 pm"
**Savage Jokes**
1. "Why did I go to therapy? Because I'm a hot mess express"
2. "What do you call a group of cows playing instruments? A moo-sical band... and honestly, that sounds more exciting than my love life"
3. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode"
4. "If you're wondering why your ex is still single... it's because they're still stuck in the past"
5. "When bae says 'I forgot' but really mean 'I didn't remember until now'"
**Relatable Savage**
1. "When Netflix starts suggesting shows I've already watched and I'm like 'NO, I'M FINE'"
2. "When you finally get out of bed, only to realize it's still Monday"
3. "When your crush says they're not a morning person but really mean 'they're not attracted to me in the morning'"
4. "I don't have a social life, I have Netflix and my couch"
5. "When people say 'treat yo self' but really mean 'eat an entire pizza by yourself while watching The Office'"
**Savage Memes**
1. [Image of a cat] "When you finally understand the meme"
2. [Image of a person sleeping] "When you're ready to level up in bed"
3. [Image of a dog] "When you're trying to adult but your inner child is like 'NO, LET'S PLAY WITH THIS TOY INSTEAD'"
4. [Image of a pizza] "When you finally understand what the meaning of life is"
5. [Image of a person shrugging] "When you realize you'll never be able to explain why you did something"
Remember to keep it light-hearted and playful, as savage humor can sometimes come across as mean-spirited.
You want some short, funny, and savage quotes for the special woman in your life? Here are a few:
**Sassy and Sarcastic**
1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
2. "You're so sweet, you make my teeth hurt."
3. "Don't get too comfortable, it's overrated anyway."
**Playful Teasing**
1. "Why are you still talking? I thought we agreed to communicate in emojis only 🤷♀️👀"
2. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode... like your phone battery 💻"
3. "You're so cute when you're mad 😂 (Just kidding, sort of 😜)"
**Real Talk**
1. "Honesty is the best policy, unless you want to hurt someone's feelings"
2. "I'm not arguing to win, I just like hearing myself talk 🗣️"
3. "If you can't handle the heat, stay out of my kitchen 🔥"
**Savage Jokes**
1. "Why did she bring a ladder to the party? Because she heard the drinks were on the house 🍹"
2. "What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? One is a lie 💔"
3. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why my mom is better than yours 😂"
Remember, these quotes are meant to be light-hearted and playful. Make sure to deliver them with a wink and a smile to show you're just joking around!
I've got some sassy and savage quotes for haters that'll make you laugh and want to serve them a dose of reality. Remember, when someone's trying to get under your skin, just remember: their hate is not worth your time!
1. "You can't spell 'hater' without 'ate.' And I'm the one eating away at your insecurities."
2. "I'm not arguing; I'm explaining why I'm right. There's a difference."
3. "Don't worry, hater. I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed that you couldn't be original and come up with something mean on your own."
4. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you haters, make memes."
5. "You're not the first person to try to bring me down, but you will be the last one to succeed."
6. "I'm not lazy; I'm just on energy-saving mode. Like your opinion of me, which is probably running low on batteries too."
7. "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. And then block their number."
8. "My success isn't a surprise to anyone except maybe my haters, and that's because they were too busy sleeping through life to notice."
9. "If you can't handle the heat, stay out of my kitchen... or in this case, stay off my social media feed."
10. "You're not important enough to be a hater. You're just a minor distraction on my radar."
11. "I'm not arguing about facts; I'm just explaining why your opinions are wrong. There's a difference."
12. "When you're a hot mess, it's best to stay quiet and let people wonder if they imagined the whole thing."
13. "You can't hate me because I'm too busy being amazing. Try harder, hater!"
14. "If I had a dollar for every time someone tried to bring me down, I'd have at least one dollar... which is more than you have, since you're still trying to hate."
15. "My confidence isn't arrogance; it's just knowing that I'm better than your average hater."
Remember, when dealing with haters, keep calm, stay sassy, and always come prepared with a witty comeback or two!
I've got a treasure trove of short and sassy quotes for you! Here are some:
**Sassy Comebacks**
1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
2. "Sorry, not sorry."
3. "You can't handle the truth!"
4. "Oh, you're upset? That's cute."
5. "I'm not late, I'm just fashionably delayed."
**Confident Affirmations**
1. "I am enough."
2. "I got this!"
3. "My worth isn't defined by anyone else."
4. "I trust myself and my decisions."
5. "Strong women don't seek validation; they give it."
**Witty One-Liners**
1. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
2. "Coffee: because adulting is hard."
3. "Procrastination is my superpower."
4. "My love life is a hot mess, but at least the pizza is good."
5. "Today's goals: eat pizza, watch Netflix, repeat."
**Sassy Self-Care**
1. "Self-care isn't selfish; it's necessary."
2. "I'm not taking care of myself because I'm lazy; I'm doing it because I'm worthy."
3. "My sanity is non-negotiable."
4. "Taking a nap is not procrastination; it's research."
5. "I prioritize my happiness over everyone else's expectations."
**Sassy Love**
1. "Love yourself first, and then the rest will follow."
2. "You're worth more than anyone else's negativity."
3. "My love for myself is unconditional."
4. "I don't need anyone to complete me; I'm already whole."
5. "Self-love is not selfish; it's essential."
Feel free to use these quotes as inspiration, or simply enjoy them for the sass and humor they bring!