Here are some short and funny marriage quotes about husbands:
1. "I love my husband more than words can express, which is good because he doesn't speak very much anyway."
2. "Marriage is like a deck of cards. You start with two hearts and a diamond, but after a few years, you're just trying to find the club that will get you out of there."
3. "Why did I marry him? Because he's my partner in every sense of the word... including the fact that we're both partners in this crazy thing called marriage."
4. "My husband is always telling me what a great cook I am. This is fine, except when I'm trying to figure out how to use the slow cooker."
5. "Marriage is like a game of Jenga. You start with a solid foundation and then you take turns removing pieces until it all comes crashing down... but in a good way?"
6. "I love my husband's sense of humor, except when he thinks he's funny and I'm just rolling my eyes."
7. "Why did I marry him? Because he's the only one who doesn't mind that I leave the cap off the toothpaste (most of the time)."
8. "Marriage is like a puzzle. You find all these pieces that fit together, but then you realize you're missing the piece that makes it actually work."
9. "My husband is always trying to help me with my problems. This is great, except when I just want someone to listen and not try to fix everything."
10. "Marriage is like a box of chocolates... except instead of different flavors, it's different arguments we have about who ate the last chocolate."
I hope these quotes bring a smile to your face!
The humor in a wife's perspective on her husband's quirks and habits is priceless! Here are some funny marriage quotes about husbands that you can use for your Instagram post:
1. "Marriage is like a deck of cards. You start with two hearts and a diamond, but then life deals you a few clubs and spades."
2. "I married my high school sweetheart because he was my first love. Now I'm stuck with him because he's my last resort."
3. "My husband told me to stop talking so much. So I listened for 5 minutes and then responded with 'That took forever!'"
4. "Why do husbands always say they're 'just going outside' when really they're hiding from the in-laws? #MarriageTips"
5. "I asked my husband why he was still playing video games at 3 am. He said, 'I'm leveling up.' I said, 'You're not leveling up, you're leveling down... into your basement.'"
6. "When my husband says 'I love you,' I say 'I love the idea of loving you.' It's a work in progress."
7. "The best way to get out of doing chores is to pretend you're doing them and then take credit for it. #MarriageHacks"
8. "My husband thinks he's a great cook because he doesn't set off the fire alarm. Little does he know, that's just a warm-up."
9. "Why do husbands always 'forget' their anniversary? Because they're too busy remembering the exact moment they forgot it."
10. "I love how my husband can eat an entire pizza by himself and then tell me I'm eating too much cheese."
Remember to keep your Instagram post lighthearted and playful, as humor is subjective and what one person finds funny, another might not.
A great topic! Here are some short and funny marriage quotes:
1. "Marriage is like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park."
~ Unknown
2. "I love being married. The only thing I don't like is the husband."
~ Joan Rivers
3. "Why do we fall in love with people who make us crazy? Because they make us laugh, duh!"
~ Unknown
4. "Marriage: Love is blind. Then marriage comes along and knocks you out."
~ Unknown
5. "I'm not saying my wife isn't beautiful, but she's a little bit like a fine wine – she only improves with age... and a few sips of whiskey."
~ Unknown
6. "Happily ever after is a bunch of crap. It's happily most of the time, then you have to work on it."
~ Unknown
7. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference."
~ Unknown (but sounds like many husbands)
8. "Love is grand, but marriage is great – especially when you're asleep!"
~ Unknown
9. "What's the secret to a happy marriage? Resign yourself to perpetual surprise."
~ Unknown
10. "Marriage is an adventure – except when it's not. Then it's just a chore."
~ Unknown
Remember, these quotes are meant to be lighthearted and playful. Every marriage has its ups and downs, but with love, humor, and commitment, you can navigate even the most challenging times!
The joys of married life! Here are some humorous and relatable wife-funny marriage quotes about husbands:
1. "I love my husband, but he's not the brightest bulb in the box... which is why I still have a working light."
2. "Marriage is like a deck of cards. You start with two hearts and a diamond, but after 10 years, you're just trying to find the club that smacks you in the face."
3. "My husband says he's a morning person, but I think 'morning' is just his favorite excuse for being grumpy."
4. "I love how my husband can remember every single detail of our first date, but forgets where we put the car keys... every time."
5. "Marriage is like a pizza delivery. You start with a hot pie, and after 10 years, it's just a cold slice and a bunch of broken promises."
6. "My husband says he's not lazy, just conserving energy. I say that's code for 'I'm too tired to get out of bed'."
7. "Why do husbands always think they're the smart one? Maybe because they think 'Google' is a person."
8. "I love how my husband can eat an entire pizza by himself and then tell me I'm being dramatic when I ask why he ate the whole thing."
9. "Marriage is like a game of Jenga. You start with a solid foundation, but after 10 years, you're just hoping not to be the one who knocks it all down."
10. "My husband says he's an adult, but I think 'adult' means being able to fold a fitted sheet... which he still can't do."
11. "Why do husbands always get to choose what movie we watch? Because they're convinced 'The Hangover' is a documentary."
12. "Marriage is like a recipe: 2 cups of love, 1 cup of patience, and 3/4 cup of sanity... which I'm pretty sure my husband has never had in his life."
13. "I love how my husband can remember every single detail of the Super Bowl from 10 years ago but forgets what we had for breakfast this morning."
14. "Marriage is like a masterclass in disappointment: You start with high hopes and end up with 'oh well, I guess we'll just have pizza tonight'."
15. "My husband says he's not boring, just... enthusiastic about routine. Yeah, that's it. Routine."
Remember, these quotes are meant to be light-hearted and playful, so don't take them too seriously (or at least, try not to!).
Congratulations to the newlyweds! Here are some funny marriage quotes that will bring a smile to their faces:
1. "Marriage is like a deck of cards. You start with two hearts and a diamond, but after a few years, you're just trying not to get played." - Unknown
2. "I love being married. The name is mine, the income is higher, and I'm still getting used to it!" - Unknown
3. "Marriage is the union of two people who are determined to ruin each other's lives... in a good way." - Unknown
4. "Wife: because 'roommate' didn't sound as romantic." - Unknown
5. "The best thing about being married? Having someone to share my Netflix password with." - Unknown
6. "Marriage is like a game of Jenga. You start with a solid foundation, but after a few years, you're just trying not to make the whole thing fall apart." - Unknown
7. "I'm not saying I'm addicted to marriage, but I've gone through withdrawal symptoms when my wife was away on business... and that's not even a joke!" - Unknown
8. "The secret to a happy marriage is finding someone who loves you more than they love being right." - Unknown
9. "Marriage: because 'live-in boyfriend' didn't have the same ring to it." - Unknown
10. "Why did I get married? Because I got tired of being asked if I was getting married!" - Unknown
11. "I'm not sure what's more exhausting, planning a wedding or dealing with your in-laws... or maybe it's just the marriage itself?" - Unknown
12. "The best part about being married is having someone to make fun of my dad jokes." - Unknown
13. "Marriage is like riding a bike – except the bike is on fire and you're wearing a tutu." - Unknown
14. "I'm not saying I don't love my wife, but sometimes I think she's more in love with our cat than me... and that's okay, because our cat loves me too!" - Unknown
15. "The key to a successful marriage is finding someone who is willing to put up with your quirks... and then making sure they know what those quirks are." - Unknown
Remember, these quotes are meant to be lighthearted and playful! Marriage is a beautiful adventure, and it's okay to poke fun at the ups and downs along the way.
Here are some short, funny marriage quotes that you can use to tease your husband:
1. "Marriage is like a deck of cards. You start with two hearts and a diamond, but after going through all the clubs, you're just trying to find the club again."
2. "I love being married. It's so great to have someone to blame for things."
3. "You're my person, my partner in crime, and my favorite human to annoy."
4. "Marriage is like a game of Jenga. You start with a solid foundation, but then you take turns removing pieces until it all comes crashing down."
5. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference."
6. "You're the peanut butter to my jelly, the Merlot to my pizza night, and the Netflix password to my binge-watching habits."
7. "Marriage is like a puzzle. Sometimes you have to force the pieces together, but eventually, they fit perfectly."
8. "I love how we can go from zero to 'we're about to kill each other' in 2 seconds flat."
9. "You're my favorite human to make fun of and then pretend I was just joking when you get upset."
10. "Marriage is like a rollercoaster. It's scary, unpredictable, and sometimes you get stuck in the loop for hours on end."
11. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode. Like your phone, but without the notifications."
12. "You're my partner in shenanigans, my accomplice in crime, and my co-conspirator in all things ridiculous."
Remember to keep it light-hearted and playful, and don't forget to laugh at yourself too!
Marriage can be a hilarious ride, and a funny caption can capture the essence of those crazy, wonderful moments with your partner. Here are some ideas for funny marriage captions:
1. "I married my best friend because she's always there to laugh at my jokes...and also to roll her eyes at them."
2. "Marriage is like a game of Jenga. You start with a solid foundation, and then you take turns removing pieces until it all comes crashing down."
3. "My spouse is the only person I know who can make me feel both loved and annoyed at the same time."
4. "I love how my partner always knows how to make me laugh...even when they're being ridiculous."
5. "Marriage is like a masterclass in patience. Except, instead of a teacher, it's your spouse telling you to 'just chill' for the 100th time that day."
6. "My marriage is like a puzzle. Except, instead of pieces fitting together, we just figure out new ways to avoid doing dishes."
7. "I married my partner because they're the only person who can put up with me...and also because they're really good at making me laugh"
8. "Marriage is like a game of Twister. You start out all excited and optimistic, but then you realize it's just going to be a long, confusing, and slightly embarrassing experience."
9. "My spouse is the only person who can make me feel both loved and frustrated at the same time...and also the only person I want to spend my Saturday mornings with."
10. "Marriage is like a rollercoaster ride of emotions. Except, instead of thrills and chills, it's just a lot of 'why did we do this?'"
11. "I love how my partner always knows how to make me laugh...even when they're making fun of me for eating the last slice of pizza"
12. "Marriage is like a never-ending game of 'who left the dishes in the sink?' except, instead of getting angry, we just laugh and say 'oops, sorry not sorry'"
13. "My spouse is the only person who can make me feel both happy and annoyed at the same time...and also the only person I want to share my Netflix password with"
14. "Marriage is like a puzzle. Except, instead of pieces fitting together, we just figure out new ways to avoid doing laundry."
15. "I married my partner because they're the only person who can make me laugh...and also because they're really good at making me feel seen and heard"
Feel free to modify or combine these captions to fit your own unique marriage experiences!
Here are some short, funny marriage quotes that you can share with your wife:
1. "You're a-maize-ing!"
2. "I love being married to my best friend, even if she doesn't love me back."
3. "Marriage is like a deck of cards. You start with two hearts and a diamond, but after a few years you have a bunch of clubs."
4. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right... again."
5. "You're the peanut butter to my jelly, the Merlot to my pizza night, the Netflix to my binge-watching habits."
6. "Marriage is like a game of Jenga. You start with a solid foundation and then you take turns removing pieces until it all comes crashing down."
7. "You're so beautiful that even your wrinkles are charming."
8. "I love you more than pizza, but don't think that means I won't still eat the whole pie by myself."
9. "We may not be perfect, but together we're perfect for each other (most of the time)."
10. "You're my partner in crime, my accomplice in shenanigans, and my best friend in all things."
11. "Marriage is like a box of chocolates – it's messy, unpredictable, and sometimes you find a weird piece that you don't know what to do with."
12. "I love being married to someone who makes me laugh so hard I snort my coffee out my nose."
13. "You're the reason I wake up in the morning, not because of the coffee, but because I get to see your beautiful face again."
14. "We've been married for [X] years and it's been a wild ride – full of ups, downs, and in-betweens (like when we forgot to do the dishes for a week)."
15. "You're my forever partner in shenanigans, love, and all things ridiculous."
Remember, humor is subjective, so find what makes your wife laugh and use it as inspiration!