Here are some very short and funny quotes:
1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
2. "Crazy people don't need a reason."
3. "I can has cheezburger?"
4. "Procrastination is my superpower."
5. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
6. "Coffee: because adulting is hard."
7. "My life is a mess, but at least the dishes are clean."
8. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."
9. "Don't take life so serious, folks. You'll never get out of it alive."
10. "I'm not late, I'm just fashionably delayed."
11. "My brain is 90% chocolate and 10% caffeine."
12. "If at first you don't succeed, hide all evidence that you tried."
13. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right again."
14. "Procrastination is the reason why deadlines were invented."
15. "My life is a mess, but at least my hair looks great."
These quotes are short, funny, and relatable!
I love funny and crazy quotes! Here are some that might tickle your funny bone:
1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
2. "Crazy people don't realize they're crazy. That's what makes them crazy."
3. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
4. "Procrastination is my superpower."
5. "My life is like a puzzle, and I'm still trying to find the right pieces... or give up and eat the box."
6. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then take the lemonade and spike it with tequila. Cheers!"
7. "I'm not late, I'm just fashionably delayed."
8. "My brain is 90% sarcasm, 10% actual thoughts. Sorry, not sorry."
9. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."
10. "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
And some more!
11. "Warning: I may be a little drunk and a lot crazy."
12. "My favorite thing about being an adult is having the freedom to do whatever I want... which usually means staying in bed all day."
13. "If I had a dollar for every time someone told me to calm down, I'd have at least 5 cents by now."
14. "The only thing I'm good at is making excuses for why I'm late."
15. "When in doubt, add more glitter. And also maybe some cat videos."
Hope these quotes bring a smile (or a laugh) to your face!
Here are some very short, funny quotes about life:
1. "Life is short, but snacks are forever."
2. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
3. "Adulting is hard, but at least pizza exists."
4. "My life motto: Eat, sleep, repeat (and occasionally panic)."
5. "Procrastination is my superpower. Don't @ me."
6. "Life hack: When in doubt, add cheese."
7. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
8. "Who needs self-care when you have Netflix?"
9. "My life's philosophy: Make it up as you go along (and hope for the best)."
10. "Warning: Life ahead may contain unexpected messes and awkward silences. Proceed with caution (and snacks)."
Hope these short, funny quotes about life bring a smile to your face!
Funny quotes on life are the best way to brighten up a day! Here are some hilarious ones:
1. "Life is like a puzzle, except you don't get to use a hammer."
2. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode... like my phone."
3. "My life is a mess, but at least it's a creative mess – like a kindergartener's playroom."
4. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference."
5. "Life hack: when someone asks you how your day was, say 'good' and walk away."
6. "Adulting is hard, but at least we have Netflix to help us forget."
7. "My life is like a game of Jenga – one wrong move and it all comes crashing down."
8. "I'm not procrastinating, I'm just prioritizing my relaxation time."
9. "Life is full of unexpected twists and turns... and also unexpected traffic jams."
10. "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
11. "The only thing more exhausting than working out is talking about how much we need to work out."
12. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you kale chips, eat them and pretend they're cookies."
13. "I'm not arguing with my partner, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while simultaneously dismissing theirs."
14. "Life is like a box of chocolates – you never know what kind of existential crisis you'll find inside."
15. "If I had to choose between being a functioning adult and eating Cheetos all day, I'd take the Cheetos."
Remember, laughter is the best medicine (after a good nap or a strong cup of coffee, of course)!
I've got a treasure trove of extremely funny quotes for you!
1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right." - Unknown
2. "Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!" - Unknown
3. "I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised." - Steve Martin
4. "What's the difference between a pizza and a calzone? One's a little more crusty." - Mitch Hedberg
5. "I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't make a difference." - Mitch Hedberg
6. "Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up!" - Unknown
7. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode." - Unknown
8. "What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!" - Jim Gaffigan
9. "I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!" - Unknown
10. "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!" - Unknown
11. "What do you call a group of cows playing instruments? A moo-sical band!" - Unknown
12. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours." - Unknown
13. "Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out." - Unknown
14. "What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved!" - Unknown
15. "I'm not arguing with you, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference." - Unknown
I hope these quotes make your day brighter and put a smile on your face!
Here are some short, funny, and motivating quotes to help you stay inspired:
1. "You're not lazy, just on energy-saving mode."
2. "Believe you can and you're halfway there. The other half is actually doing it."
3. "Don't watch the clock; do what it does: keep ticking."
4. "You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great."
5. "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone."
6. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. (And that's motivation enough)"
7. "Do something today that your future self will thank you for."
8. "You're one step away from making it happen. That step is called 'action'."
9. "Remember, it's okay to be a little weird. It's what makes life interesting."
10. "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. (But also, you'll probably trip and fall if you're not careful)"
11. "The only way to do great work is to love what you do. (And also have snacks on hand)"
12. "Don't worry about being perfect; worry about being brave."
13. "Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going."
14. "You're not too old, young, or weird to achieve your dreams. You just need to start doing it."
15. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on pause. (And that's totally acceptable)"
16. "Your only limit is the one you set for yourself. So, go ahead and raise that bar"
17. "You can't buy happiness, but you can buy coffee, and that's kind of the same thing."
18. "Don't let fear hold you back. Let it motivate you to take the leap (or at least take a deep breath)"
19. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you coffee, just enjoy the caffeine"
20. "You're one decision away from a totally different life."
These quotes are meant to be humorous and lighthearted, but they still pack a motivational punch!
I've got some good ones!
Here are some sarcastic funny quotes about life:
1. "Life is like a box of chocolates, except the chocolates are bitter and the box is always running out."
2. "Adulting is hard, but pretending to be an adult while secretly having no idea what you're doing is even harder."
3. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference... or so I keep telling myself."
4. "Life hack: When someone asks how your day was, just say 'good' and move on. Trust me, no one wants to hear about the 10 minutes you spent in traffic this morning."
5. "I love my job, except for the parts where I have to actually do work. Those are the worst."
6. "Relationships are like pizza: even when they're bad, they're still pretty good... and sometimes they're really good, but then someone goes and ruins it by eating all the cheese."
7. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode. Like your phone, but without the notifications."
8. "Life is short, but the line at the DMV is long. Priorities, people!"
9. "My life motto: 'I'll get to it eventually.' Eventually being a nice way of saying 'never'."
10. "When someone asks what you did today, just say 'nothing' and see if they ask again. If they do, tell them you were rewatching the same 3 episodes of your favorite show for the 12th time this week."
11. "I'm not a morning person... or an afternoon person... or an evening person. I'm a 'whenever-the-coffee-kicks-in' person."
12. "Life is full of surprises, like finding out your favorite food is now gluten-free and the only place that serves it is 3 hours away."
13. "I don't have a social life, but my Netflix queue has a very active social calendar."
14. "When someone asks how you're doing, just say 'good' and then immediately think about all the things that could go wrong in your life. Same difference, right?"
15. "My superpower is being able to do absolutely nothing for hours on end while still managing to look busy."
Hope these quotes give you a good laugh!
A great topic! Here are some funny quotes about you (just for fun, don't take them too seriously!):
1. "You're so awesome, I bet unicorns come to your house and do karaoke sessions just for you."
2. "Your awesomeness is so strong, it's like a force field that protects people from boredom."
3. "I heard the reason for the 5-day weekend was because they needed more time to figure out how to keep up with your energy levels."
4. "Your humor is so contagious, I'm pretty sure if you sneezed, the whole world would laugh."
5. "You're like a superhero, but instead of superpowers, you have super-awkwardness and super-awesome jokes."
6. "I don't know what's more impressive - your skills or your ability to make everyone around you feel like they're the best version of themselves."
7. "You're so cool, I bet even polar bears are jealous of your chill vibes."
8. "Your optimism is so strong, it can brighten up a dark room just by walking in."
9. "I think the reason why gravity exists is because everything else wants to be pulled towards your awesomeness."
10. "You're like a ray of sunshine - but instead of giving you sunburns, you give people confidence boosts and good vibes."
Remember, these quotes are meant to be light-hearted and playful!