Why is it that people do everything they can to learn to drive a car but don't do the same to drive their life? It really is the same process.
為什麼人們想盡一切辦法學開車，但不以相同的方式來推動他們的生活？其實過程是相似的。
I'm going to risk torturing a metaphor to make the point. Put yourself in life's driver's seat. Here's how.
我冒險用一個比喻來說明這個問題，你把自己放在人生的駕駛座上。以下是如何做。
01Want it 想學會
When you didn't know how to drive, you wanted to. You really wanted to. You knew that not knowing how to drive kept you dependent on others to get anywhere.
當你不知道怎麼開車的時候，你想學會，你確實想學。你明白如果不懂得如何駕駛，不管去哪裡，會很依賴別人。
It prevented you from getting to places and people you wanted to see. It might even have kept you poor because you couldn't get to a job reliably.
它妨礙你去你想去的地方和見想見的人。它甚至可能讓你一直很窮，因為你不能可靠地找到一份工作。
At some point, you were sick of not being able to drive. You were so motivated, you pushed aside or got over whatever fears you had about being in the driver's seat and took charge.
有時候，你生病了不能開車。但是你頭腦清醒，你把把車開到一邊，或者克服了你對駕駛的恐懼然後再掌控一切情況。
Becoming successful at driving your life follows a similar process. There are probably people who are quite willing to drive your life if you let them.
成功地駕駛你的生活遵循著一個相似的過程。如果你願意的話，也許有些人會很樂意駕馭你的生活。
Only you can decide that you don't want to be out of control any more. Push aside or overcome your fears to get in your driver's seat.
只有你才能決定你的人生不再失控。避開或克服恐懼坐到自己的駕駛座上。
02Take instruction 接受指導
To learn to drive, you either took a driver's ed class or got a parent or adult friend to take you on the road. You were willing to take instruction because you understood that there was more to learn than just how to turn the key. You accepted the expertise of someone who was older and experienced.
為了學開車，你要麼參加駕校培訓課程，要麼有父母或成年朋友帶你上路。你願意接受指導，因為你知道要學的不僅僅是如何轉動鑰匙那麼簡單。你願意接受年長有經驗的人的專業知識培訓。
People who are successful in life do just that. You don't have to pretend to know it all when you don't. Find yourself a mentor or two or more. Listen carefully and watch how things are done.
生活裡成功的人就是這樣做的。當你不懂得的時候，你不必假裝知道一切。給自己找一兩個或更多的良師益友。仔細聆聽，仔細觀察，學習看事情如何進展。
03Learn the Rules 學習規則
While learning to drive, you learned the rules of the road. Staying safe and out of trouble meant obeying the law. If you didn't like a law, you learned how change can happen. You learned, for example, that you couldn't change an intersection by demanding your 「right」 to make a right turn from a left lane. But you also learned that you might change how that intersection is configured by going through a process.
當學開車的時候，你要學習道路規則。保證安全不讓自己陷入險境，這意味著需要遵守法規。如果你不喜歡法規，你就得學會如何改變。如果你學習過開車，例如，你就不會要求行駛你的「權利」，通過從左車道右轉來改變十字路口的規則。但是您還明白，您可以通過這個過程改變交叉口的配置方式。
There are rules in life as well. Every teacher, every boss, even every friend has expectations (rules) for how things should be done. Getting along means accepting reasonable rules. Do the 「rules」 seem unreasonable? As much as you might want to, you won't be successful if you unilaterally start doing things differently. Instead, learn how to engage in a process of negotiation for making change.
生活中也有規矩。每一位老師，每一位老闆，甚至每一位朋友都會對事情該怎麼做有期望（規則）。和睦相處意味著接受合理的規則。這些「規則」看起來不合理嗎？儘管你可能想，如果你單方採取不同的行動，你就不會成功。相反，學習如何進行協商以做出改變。
04Learn the Social Rules 學習社會規則
There are also social rulesthat keep drivers in cooperation with each other.
有一些社會規則可以讓司機們互相合作。
Most people do understand that road rage doesn't help when another driver does something thoughtless or stupid. In fact, rage usually makes things far worse. You learned how to let some things go and what to do to report someone whose driving is dangerous. Yes. You know where I'm going …
很多人明白：當另一個司機做了一些粗心大意的事情或是愚蠢的行為時，路怒無濟於事。事實上，憤怒通常會讓事情變得更糟。你要學會如何放手一些事情，以及如果遇到有人駕駛出現危險，要懂得該怎麼報案。對。你應該知道我講的什麼……
There are social rulesin life, too. General politeness as well as small and large acts of kindness do keep things friendlier. Regardless of how angry coworkers, friends, or family make you at times, expressing rage will only make things worse. Learn how to let some things go and how to effectively confront the situation when you can't.
生活中也有一些社交規則。日常禮貌以及大小的善舉可以保持交際友好。無論同事、朋友或家人有時多麼讓你憤怒，然而表達憤怒只會讓事情變得更糟。當你無能為力的時候，要學習如何放手，如何有效地面對現實。
05Practice the hard parts 練習困難的部分
While learning to drive, you practiced — a lot. Skills like parallel parking and Y turns are challenging, but you tried and tried again until you mastered them. Practice matters in life, too.
在學開車的時候，你需要做很多練習。像側方位停車和Y型轉彎技巧都很有挑戰性，但是你可以不斷努力練習，直到掌握它們。實踐在生活中也很重要。
Let's say you are socially anxious and interacting with others is really, really hard for you. You can't be successful in life if you refuse to leave your house. Instead, you need to identify social skills that are challenging for you and be willing to practice — a lot.
假設你在社交上很焦慮，和別人交流對你來說真的很難。如果你拒絕離開你的家，你就不可能成功。相反，你需要辨別清楚哪些事對你來說是具有挑戰性的社交技能，然後願意勤加練習它。
06Call for help if you need it如果你需要，打電話求助
When there's something wrong with the car and you don't know how to fix it, you aren't ashamed to take it to a knowledgeable friend or to a shop. Your friend or mechanic will diagnose the problem and offer solutions.
當車出了問題而你又不知道怎麼修理時，你不要覺得不好意思帶它去見你有見識的朋友或去汽修商店，你的朋友或機修工會為你診斷問題並提供解決方案。
Sometimes you'll be able to implement their suggestions by yourself.
有時候你可以自己執行他們的建議。
Sometimes, you'll need to take the car off the road for a time for a lengthier fix by mechanics.
有時候，你得把車停在路邊好一段時間，直到機修工修理好。
Sometimes it will require learning how to drive the car a little differently in order to improve its performance.
有時候，為了提高車的性能，你需要學習以不同的方式駕駛汽車。
There will be times in life when you know there is something wrong with your body or mind that you can't fix with an over-the-counter drug or by talking to a friend.
生活中總會有這樣的時候，例如當你知道你的身心有問題，不能用非處方藥或和朋友交談來解決
There is no shame in seeing your doctor or a therapist for help. They will diagnose what's wrong and will offer you guidance about what you can do yourself and what might take more regular tune ups (appointments) after an initial fix.
那麼去看醫生或心理醫生尋求幫助是沒有羞恥的。他們會診斷出到底是什麼問題，為你提供指導，告訴你自己如何做，以及在最初的康復之後可能需要更多的定期調整（預約）。
You may need to learn how to live life differently to get well or just to grow.
你可能需要學會如何以不同的方式生活才能讓自己康復或成長。
07Don' t give up 不要放棄
While learning to drive, you had to learn what to do if you were stuck or spinning your wheels or unsure about what to do next. You learned a variety of ways to get out of a rut.
當你學習開車時，你要學習處理突發情況，比如：你的車被卡住了，或者你的車拋錨了，或者你不確定下一步該怎麼做。你要學會各種擺脫困境的方法。
It' s unlikely that getting where you want to go in life will always be a smooth ride. Learn to recognize when you are 「spinning your wheels.」 Slow down. Accept that you won't get different results if you use the same tactics over and over. Learn how to get out of the 「ruts」 you know only too well.
在生活中總是一帆風順是不太可能的。學會識別什麼時候你在「旋轉你的輪子」。放慢速度。如果你反覆使用同樣的策略，那麼就接受你不會得到不同的結果。學習如何走出你太熟悉的「怪圈」。
08Take care of the car:照顧好你的車
Take care of your car and it will take care of you. It needs gas. It needs maintenance. It needs to be regularly cleaned up. It may need some retooling to perform even better.
照顧好你的車，它會照顧好你的。它需要汽油。它需要維修。需要定期清潔。它可能需要重組才能表現得更好。
So, yes, here I go again: Take care of your body and it will take care of you. That means doing the basics of maintenance like getting enough sleep, eating right, and fitting exercise into your schedule.
所以，是的，我再說一遍：照顧好你的身體，它會照顧好你的。這意味著要做一些基本的保養工作，比如充足的睡眠，合理的飲食，適當的鍛鍊。
Looking your best by cleaning up and dressing up will help you do your best. If you want to up your horsepower, you need to do more than the minimum. You may need some retooling by getting more schooling or more experience.
把自己打扮得漂漂亮亮的樣子能幫你更有自信。如果你想提高你的馬力，你需要提高你對自己的要求。可以通過接受更多的教育或獲得更多的經驗來進行重組。