The 50-Percent Theory of Life
I believe in the 50-percent theory. Half the time things are better than normal; the other half, they re worse. I believe life is a pendulum swing. It takes time and experience to understand what normal is, and that gives me the perspective to deal with the surprises of the future.
Let’s benchmark the parameters: yes, I will die. I』ve dealt with the deaths of both parents, a best friend, a beloved boss and cherished pets. Some of these deaths have been violent, before my eyes, or slow and agonizing. Bad stuff, and it belongs at the bottom of the scale.
Then there are those high points: romance and marriage to the right person; having a child and doing those Dad things like coaching my son’s baseball team, paddling around the creek in the boat while he’s swimming with the dogs, discovering his compassion so deep it manifests even in his kindness to snails, his imagination so vivid he builds a spaceship from a scattered pile of Legos.
But there is a vast meadow of life in the middle, where the bad and the good flip-flop acrobatically. This is what convinces me to believe in the 50-percent theory.
One spring I planted corn too early in a bottomland so flood-prone that neighbors laughed. I felt chagrined at the wasted effort. Summer turned brutal---the worst heat wave and drought in my lifetime. The air-conditioned died; the well went dry; the marriage ended; the job lost; the money gone. I was living lyrics from a country tune---music I loathed. Only a surging
Looking back on that horrible summer, I soon understood that all succeeding good things merely offset the bad. Worse than normal wouldn’t last long. I am owed and savor the halcyon times. The reinvigorate me for the next nasty surprise and offer assurance that can thrive. The 50-percent theory even helps me see hope beyond my Royals』 recent slump, a field of struggling rookies sown so that some year soon we can reap an October harvest.
For that on blistering summer, the ground moisture was just right, planting early allowed pollination before heat withered the tops, and the lack of rain spared the standing corn from floods. That winter my crib overflowed with corn---fat, healthy three-to-a-stalk ears filled with kernels from heel to tip---while my neighbors』 fields yielded only brown, empty husks.
Although plantings past may have fallen below the 50-percent expectation, and they probably will again in the future, I am still sustained by the crop that flourishes during the drought.
譯文：
生活理論半對半
我信奉對半理論。生活時而無比順暢，時而倒黴透頂。我覺得生活就像來回擺的鐘擺。讀懂生活的常態需要時間和閱歷，而讀懂它也練就了我面對未來的生活態度。
讓我們確定一下好壞的標準：是的，我註定會死去。我已經經歷了雙親，一位好友，一位敬愛的老闆和心愛寵物的死亡。有些突如其來，近在眼前，有些卻緩慢痛苦。這些都是糟糕的事情，它們屬於最壞的部分。
生活中也不乏高潮：墜入愛河締結良緣；身為人父養育幼子，諸如訓練指導兒子的棒球隊，當他和狗在小河中嬉戲時搖槳划船，感受他如此強烈的同情心-即使對蝸牛也善待有加，發現他如此豐富的想像力-即使用零散的樂高玩具積木也能堆出太空飛船。
但在生活最好與最壞部分之間有一片巨大的中間地帶，其間各種好事壞事像耍雜技一樣上下翻滾，輪番出現。這就是讓我信服對半理論的原因。
有一年奏，我在一塊窪地上過早地種上了玉米。那塊地極易遭到水淹，所以鄰居們都嘲笑我。我為浪費了精力而感到懊惱。沒想到夏天更為殘酷-我經歷了最糟糕的熱浪和乾旱。空調壞了，進幹了，婚姻破裂了，工作丟了，錢也沒有。我正經歷著某首鄉村歌曲中描繪的情節，我討厭這種音樂，只有剛出道不久的堪薩斯皇家棒球隊能鼓舞我的精神。
回首那個糟糕的夏天，我很快就明白了，所有後來出現的好事只不過與壞事相互抵消。比一般情況糟糕的境遇不會延宕過久；而太平時光是我應得的，我要盡情享受，它們為我注入活力以應對下一個險情，並確保我可以興旺發達。對半理論甚至幫助我在堪薩斯皇家棒球隊最近的低潮中看到希望-這是一快艱難行進的新手們耕耘的土地，只要播種了，假以時日我們就可以收穫十月的金秋。
那個夏天天氣酷熱，地而溼度適宜，提早播種就可以在熱浪打蔫植尖之前完成授粉，同於乾旱更沒有爆發洪水，產在田裡的玉米得以保存。因此那個冬天我的糧倉堆滿了玉米-豐滿，健康，一顆三穗且從頭到腳都是飽滿的玉米粒的玉米穗-而我的鄰居們收穫的只是曬黑的空殼。
儘管過去的播種可能沒有達到50%的收穫期望，而且將來也可能是這樣，但我仍然能靠著在旱季繁茂生長的莊稼而生存下去。
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