The 50-Percent Theory of Life
I believe in the 50-percent theory. Half the time things are better than normal; the other half, they are worse. I believe life is a pendulum swing. It takes time and experience to understand what normal is, and that gives me the perspective to deal with the surprises of the future.
Let's benchmark the parameters: Yes, I will die. I've dealt with the deaths of both parents, a best friend, a beloved boss and cherished pets. Some of these deaths have been violent, before my eyes, or slow and agonizing. Bad stuff, and it belongs at the bottom of the scale.
Then there are those high points: romance and marriage to the right person; having a child and doing those Dad things like coaching my son's baseball team, paddling around the creek in the boat while he's swimming with the dogs, discovering his compassion so deep it manifests even in his kindness to snails, his imagination so vivid he builds a spaceship from a scattered pile of Legos.
But there is a vast meadow of life in the middle, where the bad and the good flip-flop acrobatically. This is what convinces me to believe in the 50-percent theory.
One spring I planted corn too early in a bottomland so flood-prone that neighbors laughed. I felt chagrined at the wasted effort. Summer turned brutal -- the worst heat wave and drought in my lifetime. The air-conditioner died, the well went dry, the marriage ended, the job lost, the money gone. I was living lyrics from a country tune -- music I loathed. Only a surging Kansas City Royals team, bound for their first World Series, buoyed my spirits.
Looking back on that horrible summer, I soon understood that all succeeding good things merely offset the bad. Worse than normal wouldn't last long. I am owed and savor the halcyon times. They reinvigorate me for the next nasty surprise and offer assurance that I can thrive. The 50 percent theory even helps me see hope beyond my Royals' recent slump, a field of struggling rookies sown so that some year soon we can reap an October harvest.
Oh, yeah, the corn crop? For that one blistering summer, the ground moisture was just right, planting early allowed pollination before heat withered the tops, and the lack of rain spared the standing corn from floods. That winter my crib overflowed with corn -- fat, healthy three-to-a-stalk ears filled with kernels from heel to tip -- while my neighbors' fields yielded only brown, empty husks.
Although plantings past may have fallen below the 50-percent expectation, and they probably will again in the future, I am still sustained by the crop that flourishes during the drought.
中文：
我信奉對半理論。生活時而無比順暢，時而倒黴透頂，好壞參半。我覺得生活就像來回晃動的鐘擺。讀懂生活的常態需要時間和閱歷，也正是這樣才練就了我面對未來榮辱不驚的生活態度。
讓我們掂量這些點點滴滴：是的，我註定會死去。我已經經歷了雙親的仙逝，一位友人的亡故，一位敬愛的老闆的離逝，還有心愛寵物的死亡。當中一些變故突如其來，直擊眼前;有些卻長期折磨，痛苦不堪。糟糕的事兒，它們駐留谷底。
當然生活也不乏熠熠光彩：墜入愛河締結良緣;養育幼子身為人父，訓練兒子的棒球隊，當他和狗在水中嬉戲時，搖槳划船前瞻後顧，感受他如此強烈的同情心——即使對蝸牛也善待有加，發現他如此活躍的想像力——即使零散的積木也能堆出太空飛船。
但在它們發生期間有一片寬廣的草坪，在那兒上演的各種好事壞事像耍雜技一樣地翻新。這就是讓我信服對半理論的原因。
有一年春天，我在一片容易被淹的低洼地過早地種下了玉米，鄰居們都為此嘲笑我。一番心血付之東流讓我懊惱不已。接著我生命中最難熬的酷暑來臨了——熱浪襲人，釀至旱災。空調失靈，水井枯竭，婚姻破裂，慘遭失業，積蓄揮空。我正經歷某個鄉村調頻描繪的情節，我討厭這種音樂。只有一支人氣攀升的堪薩斯皇家棒球隊的小組因他們的第一次出徵世界大賽團結起來使我精神振奮。
回想那個可怕的夏天，我不久就明白了所有的好事壞事不過是正負抵消。不順心的境遇不會延宕過久。太平時光是我應得的，我要盡情享受。它們給我新的活力以應對突如其來的險境，並確保我再度輝煌。對半理論甚至幫我在我喜愛的皇家棒球隊最近的低潮中看到希望——這是一塊艱難行進的新手們耕耘的土地，播種了，假以時日我們就可以收穫十月的金秋。
哦，對了，玉米收成?就那年炎熱的夏天，莊稼地的溼度恰到好處，過早的種植使授粉避開酷熱在頂梢乾枯前完成，雨水稀少使地裡長著的玉米免遭水災。那年冬天，我的糧倉裡堆滿了玉米——飽滿結實的玉米每株稈上結三個，每個玉米從底到頂端長滿了玉米粒——而我的鄰居們地裡長出來的只是暗沉乾癟的殼。
儘管過去播種的收穫沒有達到50%的期望，而且將來也可能是這樣，我仍然要為經歷旱季依然豐收的玉米而堅守陣地。