上期：搞笑諾貝爾獎
原標題：How to avoid being 'that person' in a group chat
最近有個熱帖，叫做「開學第三天，我退出了家長群」，引起了不少家長的共鳴。
作者每天的家長群消息都是這樣的：
早上一輪問候和期待：「老師早上好！孩子又要麻煩老師啦。」
中午一輪感謝和支持：「看到老師發的照片了，老師把孩子照顧得這麼好非常感謝！」
晚上一輪表演和祝安：「看到孩子的變化就知道離不開老師的辛苦付出，我們家長會更好地配合老師的教學需求，老師早點休息哦。」
話題引爆微博後，上至高中、下到幼兒園的家長和老師都紛紛吐槽，微信群裡的「人情世故」成為一種負擔。還有些家長吐槽說，自從進了家長群，每天都是家長會……
其實不止是家長群，社交媒體的群組功能讓一些人恨不得關機遁世，還世界一片清靜。如何在群組中發言才不惹人煩？這真是社交媒體時代人人的一門必修課。
在社交群組中發言，要注意哪些事項，才能防止自己變成群裡那個讓人討厭的人？
The group admin
群組管理員
The person with all the power. This is the adult equivalent of being the lead in the school Christmas play.
群組管理員是聊天群中權力最大的人。這相當於在學校的聖誕劇排練小組中當組長。
So it's important to lay down some ground rules but remember if your dad is still paying your phone bill - he doesn't have to follow them.
所以列出一些群聊基本規則很重要，但你要知道，如果你的話費帳單是你爸給付的，他可不一定會遵守你的規則（就別邀請他入群了）。
DON'T: Have a one-to-one conversation
不做：一對一聊天
This is a big NO NO.
千萬別這樣做。
Firstly, the clue is in the name "group chat" so having a conversation that only affects you and another member is a massive faux pas.
首先是因為，這是「群聊」，所以和某一個人在群裡聊你倆之間的事很無禮。
Only post things everyone is interested in or will enjoy.
在群裡只發布所有人都感興趣，或願意看的內容。
Secondly, the solution is simple. Just message that person privately. Not everyone wants to know what time you're meeting Jackie to go the cinema.
辦法很簡單。只要私下和對方發消息就可以了。不是所有人都想知道你什麼時間要和傑基去看電影。
DO: Check you're messaging the right group
做：確保你的消息發對了群
最近，有位家長打算找老師溝通給孩子換座位的事情，認為同桌上課講話影響到了自家孩子。可是一個不小心，消息發到了班級群，群裡立馬炸開鍋。
Check once, check twice and check again before hitting send.
按下發送鍵前，要再三檢查。
At best you might be embarrassed but at worst you might have to leave that group and spend the rest of your days avoiding the people in it.
如果你發錯了群，好的情況是你會感到尷尬，但在最糟糕的情況下，你不得不退群，還要在之後躲著群裡的朋友走。
DON'T: Spam
不做：發垃圾消息
Spam, at a stretch belongs in your kitchen cupboard - but there's no place for it in a group message.
垃圾最應該出現在你的廚房碗櫃裡，而不是在聊天群組裡。
The world isn't ending.
世界末日並沒有到來。
If you don't forward a text onto 10 of your contacts you won't get bad luck for a year.
就算你沒把一個消息轉發給10個聯繫人，你接下來的一年內也不會遭遇厄運。
DO: Keep it brief
做：發言簡明扼要
If you can sum up your point in one line, why use 10?
如果能在一行之內把話說清楚，為什麼要寫10行？
DON'T: Be a lurker or ghost member
不做：成為超級潛水黨
There's no space in a group chat for people who don't want to...chat. What's more, everyone can see that you've received and read the message.
不想說話的人在群組裡是沒有位置的。而且，所有人都知道你收到並看到了消息。
So if the other members are waiting on you to make a decision this can be really frustrating.
所以如果其他人在等你做決定，而你又不說話，那就太讓大家抓狂了。
DO: Ask permission before adding someone to a group
做：拉別人入群前先得到允許
Would you unknowingly invite 30 strangers to your house and lock them in a room? Exactly. Then it's probably courteous to ask someone if they want to be added to a group chat before doing so.
你會不知就裡地邀請30個陌生人去你家，把他們鎖在一間屋子裡嗎？當然不會。所以在把某個人拉進群組聊天前，先要問問他自己是否想要加入，這樣才夠禮貌。
It's also just as important to say why you're leaving - especially if you were willingly part of the group for a while.
退群前說清楚原因也很重要，尤其你還想繼續和群裡的成員做朋友時。
This is just as rude as walking away from your mates without saying bye.
退群不打招呼，就好比不說再見就從夥伴身邊人間蒸發一樣無禮。
英文來源：BBC 人民日報