How would you answer this question: I am out of my abuse and have moved on with my life. There is something that I have been wondering about. How and when does the abuse stop playing a significant part of my life? I have seen others who have moved on and I would like to know how they did it.
對下面的問題你會作何回答:我擺脫了虐待,翻開新的生活。有些事我一直在考慮,從何時開始,如何虐待會停止在我的生活中扮演重要的角色?我見過那些繼續生活的人,我想知道他們是如何做到的。
The woman who asked this, asked a valid question. There are many men, women and children who no longer are victims, but feel like they cannot leave it behind. It stays as much a part of themselves as it did while they were being abused. The only difference may be there is no physical or emotional abuse happening in their worlds.
問這個問題的女士所問的問題是有效的。有許多不再是受害者的男人、女人和孩子,可是這些人感到無法將其拋在身後。它就如同過去被虐待時一樣還是自己的一部分。唯一的區別是如今在他們的世界沒有情感或身體虐待發生。
What is victim mentality?
什麼是受害人思維?
A victim mentality is one where you blame everyone else for what happens in your world. (Another definition not as commonly used is one that says a person thinks the future only holds bad things for them.) If you do not get the promotion it is because Mr. Johnson was out to get you. Not because he found you playing on the Internet every day. Your best friend called and said she could not have dinner with you. She is always doing that to you; not showing. You'll show her. You won't invite her when you go out again! Instead of remembering she has just started school and you did call her at the last minute. Victim mentality.
受害人思維是你對自己生活中的一切都指責於別人。(另一個不常用的定義是一個人認為未來只會給他們帶來不好的東西)如果你沒有獲得晉升,那是因為Johnson和你做多。不是因為他發現你成天上網。你最好的朋友打電話說不能和你進餐。她總是那麼對你,不來。你將看她顏色看看。當你再出去時就不會請她了。而沒有考慮她才剛開學,而你卻是在最後一分鐘打給她電話。受害人思維。
Recently I spoke with someone who no longer lives with a victim mentality. She has gone on with her life and is free from some of the extra baggage that come with being a victim. We discussed forgiving our abusers and how in that process you also need to forgive yourself. With that came loosing the victim mentality.
最近,我和某位不再帶著「受害人」思維的人談話。她繼續新的生活,不再有作為受害人要背的額外包袱。我們討論了如何原諒虐待人,在此過程中你也要如何原諒自己。隨之而來的就是釋放了受害人思維。
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