5月26日10點（美國東部時間），中國科大畢業生何江（中國科大0508郭沫若獎獲得者）成為第一位登上哈佛大學畢業典禮演講臺的中國大陸學子。那麼，身為哈佛學子，何江的這篇演講，到底有何過人之處，值得我們學習呢？
The Spider’s Bite
蜘蛛之咬
When I was in middle school, a poisonous spider bit my right hand. I ran to my mom for help—but instead of taking me to a doctor, my mom set my hand on fire.
一個好的演講開頭，必須有一個足夠新穎的引子：或是一個足夠神奇的故事，或是一段足夠驚世駭俗的話。何江採取了前者，他說，當我中毒時，我的親媽，沒有帶我去看醫生，而是把我的手點著了。此時，他停頓了一下，下面的人也get到了他的笑點。
After wrapping my hand with several layers of cotton, then soaking it in wine,she put a chopstick into my mouth, and ignited the cotton. Heat quickly penetrated the cotton and began to roast my hand. The searing pain made me want to scream, but the chopstick prevented it. All I could do was watch my hand burn - one minute, then two minutes –until mom put out the fire.
何江打算繼續把這個故事講的繪聲繪色。他用了一系列動詞：wrap, soak, put a stick into my mouth, ignite。英文中動詞的選擇，不但要求準確，而且要如臨其境，又貼合事實。何江這裡幾個動詞，都寫出了媽媽動作嫻熟，有如醫生看病一樣專業：包紮，酒精消毒。最後一步ignite似乎有點脫線，稱之為anti-climax劇情反轉，是常用的一種寫作演講修辭方式。所以可見，英文寫作並非要求大詞，而是恰當則好。這是中國英語寫作的第一個壞毛病，偏喜歡教授學生一些奇怪的同義詞語，結果往往詞不達意。
為何有此等毛病？漢語常常要求用詞典雅，仿佛大詞偏詞，就能高人一等。我們評價翻譯時，常常追求信達雅，追捧神品化境。似乎這些標準裡，雅和化境才是最高級別，這和我們長期以來的士大夫文化相關，常常稱頌他們的古典用詞就是高級詞彙。實際上，近代小說的崛起，要求更加貼近市井文化，要求寫文章如同戲子，演什麼像什麼，寫什麼神似什麼。這就要求作者要親身經歷，有第一手資料。這也就是為什麼海明威，奧威爾，狄更斯出身記者，卻逐步踏入文學殿堂，成為舞文弄墨的一等高手。也說明了為什麼諾貝爾獎，最近頒發給了專注於前蘇聯時期人性紀實描寫的女性作家阿列謝克耶維奇。他們都並沒有如文學家一般別出心裁，天女散花般的用詞，卻用真實之筆，寫出了現實的真實和荒誕。
中國人寫英語作文的第二個大毛病，在於喜歡不斷換句型。似乎英文要每句都獨具匠心，不追求整體的合一。這就好比習字，不去練框架結構，反去練習奇怪的橫撇捺鉤，結果東倒西歪。此處上句結尾是棉花被點燃，下句宜就坡下驢，選擇Heat穿透了棉花，此等連接可謂自然而然，勝過各種絢爛之詞。火roast我的胳膊，這個荒誕的搭配，繼續延續了上文的誇張風格。Searing意思是撕裂，寫出了灼燒皮膚的拉扯感，非常到位。
描述此處情形時，何江不無調侃，巧妙而又適當地迎合外國人對於中國人的固定習慣思維：對人冷漠而又喜歡強制。Want to scream，but chopstick prevents it，watch my hand burn，two minutes after，put it out. 這一個開場，可謂極大的滿足了各位見多識廣的哈佛聽眾的好奇心，讓各位穩穩噹噹坐在椅子上聽。因為美國乃是一個觀眾最挑剔的場所。就算是常常為美國帶來新詞，有如莎士比亞般的紐約客，也得按照美國人固定的模式來寫華人的文章。比如姚明這樣的NBA球星，就會拿來和人們對於普通的在美華人和普通的來NBA打球的外來球員的刻板觀點比較。你可以說這是傲慢與偏見，不過也確實得When in Rome Do，as the Romans Do。
You see, the part of China I grew up in was a rural village, and at that time pre-industrial. When I was born, my village had no cars, no telephones, no electricity, not even running water. And we certainly didn’t have access to modern medical resources. There was no doctor my mother could bring me to see about my spider bite.
此處，何江開始正式進入主題，提到了自己的家鄉rural和pre-industrial，窮鄉僻壤之地。他繪聲繪色的用了一連串的no xx，no xx，not even xx，來強調什麼都沒有。平行結構是最好的陳述之詞，易於理解，又能相得益彰。現在中國學生經常感嘆無例子可寫，文章缺乏內容，為何不把自己知道的事實，用這種方式造成很好的修辭效果呢？寫完基本物資缺乏之後，何江又用we certainly didn’t have xx，自然過渡到主題詞「缺乏醫療資源」上，從客觀角度，為媽媽解釋了，她看似無情的原因所在。
For those who study biology, you may have grasped the science behind my mom’s cure: heat deactivates proteins, and a spider’s venom is simply a form of protein. It’s cool how that folk remedy actually incorporates basic biochemistry, isn’t it? But I am a PhD student in biochemistry at Harvard, I now know that better, less painful and less risky treatments existed. So I can’t help but ask myself, why I didn’t receive one at the time? Fifteen years have passed since that incident. I am happy to report that my hand is fine. But this question lingers, and I continue to be troubled by the unequal distribution of scientific knowledge throughout the world.
何江繼續從科學角度，思考了媽媽這一荒謬舉動的背後原因。美式辯論思維，喜歡深挖社會各個方面的原因與事實，為各自找積極理由，從而不再用一報還一報思維，解決世間紛擾問題，這也就是美國社會為何如此多元，卻能不斷進步的原因所在。原來，媽媽如此黑醫術，科學道理還是有的：熱使得蛋白質活性降低，而蜘蛛的毒素正是一種蛋白質。
何江不無調侃的說，傳統偏方幸運扯上生物化學，深感鄉民之智慧無窮。這個incorporate可謂妙語連珠，比relevant好上一層樓。因為傳統醫術是無心插柳柳成蔭，用有心的incorporate，更好的寫出了諷刺感，這裡不得不感慨他請的人給改的高明。作者最終和自身聯繫，引入了為何身為哈佛生物化學博士，心知各種更好、更少痛苦、更小風險的治療方法，當初為何無法接受此等待遇呢？這一15年前的問題，困擾了何江多年，也引出了這次演講的真正話題：unequal distribution of scientific knowledge（科學資源的不公平分配）。
此處不得不說中國學生寫作文的另一個問題，是力求旁徵博引，甚至不惜掉書袋，來拉扯自己的文章，一是為了炫耀，一也是為了媚俗。然而此等文章，上下文邏輯甚至不能統一。這裡並沒有提到什麼豐功偉績，而是對一個小故事層層深入，最終探討出了核心話題。此等演講和寫作方式，值得我們深刻學習研究。
We have learned to edit the human genome and unlock many secrets of how cancer progresses. We can manipulate neuronal activity literally with the switch of alight. Each year brings more advances in biomedical research- exciting, transformative accomplishments. Yet, despite the knowledge we have amassed, we haven’t been so successful in deploying it to where it’s needed most.
何江接著說到，我們編輯人類基因組，破解癌症之謎，控制神經元活動，生物科技日新月異。然而，如此多的knowledge，卻並沒有帶來任何最適應場合的deploy。此處用this knowledge這一代詞，對於上文各種人類進步進行總結，連貫的非常清楚。中國學生寫作的第四大問題，在於連詞求新求異，而不是用代詞等穿針引線。這就好比放風箏一般，有放有收，自然過渡，不必特別做作，算計到分分秒秒何時收放。
According to the World Bank, twelve percent of the world’s population lives on less than$2 a day. Malnutrition kills more than 3 million children annually. Three hundred million people are afflicted by malaria globally. All over the world,we constantly see these problems of poverty, illness, and lack of resources impeding the flow of scientific information. Lifesaving knowledge we take for granted in the modern world is often unavailable in these underdeveloped regions. And in far too many places, people are still essentially trying to cure a spider bite with fire.
作者這裡收完以後，繼續用世界銀行，營養不良，瘧疾等數據，三個副詞a day，annually和globally，再次說明了一個問題：表達同樣觀點，句式不要變化，而是要一致。說完應用工作不夠帶來的問題之後，何江旋即用these problems再次一收，進行總結，回到科學的傳播受到不斷阻礙這個話題上來。從此可以看出，作者不斷用抽象名詞總結，又用具體名詞擴展，把文章的主題不斷變幻於概念詞之間，連接緊密。這樣，既不至於過大過空過抽象，又不至於毫無重點扯閒篇。這是好作文和好演講的代表，可以看出，這篇演講詞是找人仔細潤色過的。
While studying at Harvard, I saw how scientific knowledge can help others in simple yet profound ways. The bird flu pandemic in the 2000s looked to my village like a spell cast by demons. Our folk medicine didn’t even have half-measures to offer. What’s more, farmers didn’t know the difference between common cold and flu; they didn’t understand that the flu was much more lethal than the common cold. Most people were also unaware that the virus could transmit across different species.
Simple yet profound這裡對比修辭用的好，寫出了科學知識舉重若輕的大有可為之處。作者說，禽流感有如一場spell cast by demons，用這個比喻將整個可怕程度說的更為生動印象。didn’t even have half-measure，這個詞意思是權宜之計，把傳統治病方法對於大型傳染病的無力感，說的更加形象。就像說一個人，對某個事不是很認真，可以用not even halfhearted。
So when I realized that simple hygiene practices like separating different animal species could contain the spread of the disease, and that I could help make this knowledge available to my village, that was my first 「Aha」moment as a budding scientist. But it was more than that: it was also a vital inflection point in my own ethical development, my own self-understanding as a member of the global community.
「當我意識到，衛生措施，比如動物隔離，可以控制擴散。」何江用「Aha」moment點出了身為budding scientist靈光一現的時刻。這裡的budding用的也很好，講出了莘莘學子初出茅廬的那份感覺。下面的inflection point拐點，這個專業詞彙好過千萬個important和change同義詞，寫出了自己道德觀此處發生了重大變化，也推動了主題：個人在全球社會中的作用。這就引出了美國名牌私立學校常常提到的「培養領袖」。
Harvard dares us to dream big, to aspire to change the world. Here on this Commencement Day, we are probably thinking of grand destinations and big adventures that await us. As for me, I am also thinking of the farmers in my village. My experience here reminds me how important it is for researchers to communicate our knowledge to those who need it. Because by using the science we already have, we could probably bring my village and thousands like it into the world you and I take for granted every day. And that’s an impact every one of us can make!
But the question is, will we make the effort or not?
回到哈佛母校的傳統，這裡的dare us用的好，簡潔有力，比所謂的render us with great bravery有力千百倍。就像how dare you！比how can you affront me with such an insult！更加有力一樣。身為哈佛學子，grand destinations and big adventures自不待言，await us寫出了天下美事盡入彀中的感覺。但是哈佛等名校的教育，不是在培養佔盡社會資源的華爾街精英，而是培養能改變世界的領袖和變革者，這些才是社會的中流砥柱。
何江這裡不孚眾望的說到，身為農民之子，改變他們的命運，讓他們過上現代人習以為常的生活，乃是義不容辭的責任。記得美國所有電影裡，一直宣傳的一個觀點就是：「如果你有能力，卻對不公坐視不管，那麼你也在犯罪，因為你有這麼一個機會，別人沒有，你卻浪費了它。」這就是精英教育VS精緻綿羊教育，領袖教育VS利己教育的核心所在。筆者曾經去美國一所中學交流，他們牆上寫的一句話，震撼了我，大意就是：每個人的機會，都來自於別人的給予。給予讓世界更美好，機會更多。何江這裡振聾發聵的問道：But the question is, will we make the effort or not?
More than ever before, our society emphasizes science and innovation. But an equally important emphasis should be on distributing the knowledge we have to where it’s needed. Changing the world doesn’t mean that everyone has to find the next big thing. It can be as simple as becoming better communicators, and finding more creative ways to pass on the knowledge we have to people like my mom and the farmers in their local community. Our society also needs to recognize that the equal distribution of knowledge is a pivotal step of human development, and work to bring this into reality.
我們社會無比強調科技和變革，就像中國社會現在強調的網際網路時代和概念。此處的排比句式用的好，與前句形成了鮮明的對比。「an equally important emphasis should be on」distributing the knowledge we have to where it’s needed。此處終於點出了核心主題：改變世界並不一定是建立豐功偉業，也可以是成為更好的知識傳播者，或是發現更多的方法去傳播給自己的家鄉。Pivotal point這個詞也和上文的inflection point保持了文章風格的一致，並沒有刻意為了演講。用什麼絢麗的詞彙。
And if we do that, then perhaps a teenager in rural China who is bitten by a spider will not have to burn his hand, but will know to seek a doctor instead.
最後再次呼應前面蜘蛛的故事和當年的自我，對全場哈佛學子發動呼籲。不得不說，這真的是一篇專業精良的演講詞，雖然初出茅廬，卻勝過國內的任何演講，非常值得一看。
帶領你在英文的道路上，每一天都更優秀。
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