如果我二十六歲我可以為你吹三瓶江小白，可惜我現在三歲，只能勉強喝兩瓶奶，喝急了可能還會打嗝。
If I was 26 years old, I could blow three bottles of jiangxiaobai for you, but now I am three years old, I can barely drink two bottles of milk. If I drink too much, I may also belch.
我發幾百條朋友圈你都不帶點讚評論， 我就說一句我是仙女 ，你問號摳得比誰都。
I sent hundreds of friends, and you didn't like it. I just said I'm a fairy. Your question mark is faster than anyone else.
「我不想再做舔狗了，好聚好散吧，以後你走你的獨木橋，我在下面撐著橋，嗚嗚嗚嗚，你過橋可一定要小心啊。」
"I don't want to be a dog licker any more. Get together and let's go. After that, you can walk on your single wooden bridge. I'll support the bridge below. Wuwuwu, you must be careful when you cross the bridge."
只有弱者才會在分手時痛哭流涕求他不要走，我們強者都是跪在地上抱著對方大腿讓他寸步難移。
Only the weak will break up in tears and beg him not to go, we strong are kneeling on the ground holding each other's thighs, let him move.
居然真的有男孩子願意大晚上跑過來給我送吃的，我真的很感動，就是配送費貴了些。
I'm really moved that some boys would like to come over to deliver food to me in the evening. It's just that the delivery fee is more expensive.
別人有甜甜的戀愛，但我有圓圓的臉蛋。
Others have sweet love, but I have a round face.
有女的在你面前難過輕輕抽泣的時候，輕輕拍她的背，拿張紙溫柔地遞給她說: 沒吃飯嗎 ?哭大點聲， 懂了嗎?
There is a woman in front of you sad, gently sobbing, gently pat her back, take a piece of paper gently handed to her said did not eat? Cry big voice understand?
我是一個高冷的人，我那從骨子裡散發出來的高冷氣息，讓我得了風溼性關節炎。
I am a high cold person, I that sends out the high cold breath from the bone, let me get rheumatoid arthritis.
到底要買什麼型號的手機才能收到男孩子發的消息啊。
What kind of mobile phone should I buy to receive messages from boys.
公交車上我頻頻看你，你也頻頻看我 ，我對你一見鍾情，你卻緊緊捂住錢包。
I see you frequently on the bus, and you see me frequentlyI fell in love with you at first sight, but you held your purse tightly.
圖片來源:網絡
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