Hi. I'm here to talk to you about the importance ofpraise, admiration and thank you, and having it be specific and genuine.
嗨。我在這裡要和大家談談，向別人表達讚美，傾佩和謝意的重要性。並使它們聽來真誠，具體。
And the way I got interested in this was, I noticedin myself, when I was growing up, and until about a few years ago, that I wouldwant to say thank you to someone, I would want to praise them, I would want totake in their praise of me and I'd just stop it. And I asked myself, why?
之所以我對此感興趣，是因為我從我自己的成長中注意到，幾年前，當我想要對某個人說聲謝謝時，當我想要讚美他們時，當我想接受他們對我的讚揚，但我卻沒有說出口。我問我自己，這是為什麼？
I felt shy, I felt embarrassed. And then my questionbecame, am I the only one who does this? So, I decided to investigate.
我感到害羞，我感到尷尬。接著我產生了一個問題，難道我是唯一一個這麼做的人嗎？所以我決定做些探究。
I'm fortunate enough to work in the rehab facility,so I get to see people who are facing life and death with addiction. Andsometimes it comes down to something as simple as, their core wound is theirfather died without ever saying he's proud of them.
我非常幸運的在一家康復中心工作，所以我可以看到那些因為上癮而面臨生與死的人。有時候這一切可以非常簡單地歸結為，他們最核心的創傷來自於他們父親到死都未說過「他為他們而自豪」。
But then, they hear from all the family and friendsthat the father told everybody else that he was proud of him, but he never toldthe son. It's because he didn't know that his son needed to hear it.
但他們從所有其它家庭或朋友那裡得知，他的父親告訴其他人為他感到自豪，但這個父親從沒告訴過他兒子。因為他不知道他的兒子需要聽到這一切。
So my question is, why don't we ask for the thingsthat we need? I know a gentleman, married for 25 years, who's longing to hearhis wife say, "Thank you for being the breadwinner, so I can stay homewith the kids," but won't ask. I know a woman who's good at this.
因此我的問題是，為什麼我們不索求我們需要的東西呢？我認識一個結婚25年的男士，他渴望聽到他妻子說，「感謝你為這個家在外賺錢，這樣我才能在家陪伴著孩子，」但他從來不去問。我認識一個精於此道的女士。
She, once a week, meets with her husband and says,"I'd really like you to thank me for all these things I did in the houseand with the kids." And he goes, "Oh, this is great, this isgreat."
每周一次，她見到丈夫後會說，「我真的希望你為我對這個家和孩子們付出的努力而感謝我。」他會應和到「哦，真是太棒了，真是太棒了。」
And praise really does have to be genuine, but shetakes responsibility for that. And a friend of mine, April, who I've had sincekindergarten, she thanks her children for doing their chores. And she said,"Why wouldn't I thank it, even though they're supposed to do it?"
讚揚別人一定要真誠，但她對讚美承擔了責任。一個從我上幼兒園就一直是朋友的叫April的人，她會感謝她的孩子們做了家務。她說:「為什麼我不表示感謝呢，即使他們本來就要做那些事情？」
So, the question is, why was I blocking it? Why wereother people blocking it? Why can I say, "I'll take my steak medium rare,I need size six shoes," but I won't say, "Would you praise me thisway?"
因次我的問題是，為什麼我不說呢？為什麼其它人不說呢？為什麼我能說:「我要一塊中等厚度的牛排，我需要6號尺寸的鞋子，」但我卻不能說:「你可以讚揚我嗎？」
And it's because I'm giving you critical data aboutme. I'm telling you where I'm insecure. I'm telling you where I need your help.And I'm treating you, my inner circle, like you're the enemy. Because what canyou do with that data? You could neglect me.
因為這會使我把我的重要信息與你分享。會讓我告訴了你我內心的不安。會讓你認為我需要你的幫助。雖然你是我最貼心的人，我卻把你當作是敵人。你會用我託付給你的重要信息做些什麼呢？你可以忽視我。
You could abuse it. Or you could actually meet myneed. And I took my bike into the bike store-- I love this -- same bike, andthey'd do something called "truing" the wheels. The guy said,"You know, when you true the wheels, it's going to make the bike so muchbetter."
你可以濫用它。或者你可以滿足我的要求。我把我的自行車拿到車行——我喜歡這麼做——同樣的自行車，他們會對車輪做整形。那裡的人說：「當你對車輪做整形時，它會使自行車變成更好。」
I get the same bike back, and they've taken all thelittle warps out of those same wheels I've had for two and a half years, and mybike is like new. So, I'm going to challenge all of you.
我把這輛自行車拿回來，他們把有小小彎曲的鐵絲從輪子上拿走，這輛車我用了2年半，現在還像新的一樣。所以我要問在場的所有人.
I want you to true your wheels: be honest about thepraise that you need to hear. What do you need to hear? Go home to your wife --go ask her, what does she need? Go home to your husband -- what does he need?Go home and ask those questions, and then help the people around you.
我希望你們把你們的車輪整形一下：真誠面對你們想聽到的讚美。你們想聽到什麼呢？回家問問你們的妻子，她想聽到什麼？回家問問你們的丈夫，他想聽到什麼？回家問問這些問題，並幫助身邊的人實現它們。
And it's simple. And why should we care about this?We talk about world peace. How can we have world peace with different cultures,different languages? I think it starts household by household, under the sameroof.
非常簡單。為什麼要關心這個呢？我們談論世界和平。我們怎麼用不同的文化，不同的語言來保持世界和平？我想要從每個小家庭開始。
So, let's make it right in our own backyard. And Iwant to thank all of you in the audience for being great husbands, greatmothers, friends, daughters, sons. And maybe somebody's never said that to you,but you've done a really, really good job.
所以讓我們在家裡就把這件事情做好。我想要感謝所有在這裡的人們，因為你們是好丈夫，好母親，好夥伴，好女兒和好兒子。或許有些人從沒跟你們說過，但你們已經做得非常非常得出色了。
And thank you for being here, just showing up andchanging the world with your ideas. Thank you.
感謝你們來到這裡，向世界顯示著你們的智慧，並用它們改變著世界。謝謝。