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派拉蒙影業感謝死者家屬及卡爾斯巴德市警察局
卡爾斯巴德 加州
歡迎回家 漢特 這就是你的家
Welcome home, Hunter. This is your house.
看看那個窗戶 這是前門
Gonna look out of that window. There's your front door.
老爸
Hi, Dad.
你好嗎
How are you?
-很高興 -小乖乖
-Happy. -Hi, little man.
我們把他帶到陰涼去 好嗎
We got to keep him out of the sun, too, ok?
好 感覺怎樣
Yeah. How are you feeling?
猜猜是誰換了頭15個尿布
Guess who changed the first, like, 15 diapers?
-是這位 在這呢 -等等
-This guy, right here. -Wait, wait.
猜猜又是誰勞動了一天
Guess who was in labor for a day?
-那就是這位了 -我勞動了
-This girl. -I've been in labor for.
那是你老媽
That's your mama.
漢特 這是馬婷 你的新保姆
Hunter, this is Martine, your new nanny.
她將搞定你的髒髒尿布
She will probably fix your dirty diapers,
-因為我不會 -能看到我嗎
-because I won't. -Can I see?
那是
Yes.
老天 看看他
Oh, my goodness. Look at this.
-他很帥 是嗎 -難道他可愛嗎
-He's cute, right? -Isn't he adorable?
他看起來是個善於討好女人的孩子 我可沒撒謊
He's kind of smooshy looking. I'm not gonna lie.
他剛出生 剛出生
He's just newborn, he's a newborn.
說實話 他可是最帥的寶貝 僅僅次於我
Seriously, the cutest baby ever, next to me. Second to me.
摸摸他 我要整天抱著他
Just touch him and cuddle him all day long.
你看他有多袖珍
You see how tiny he is?
介意讓我抱抱嗎
Do you mind if I take him? Not if he's sleeping,
在他醒著的時候 我想帶著他看看房子
but I want to take him on a tour of the house.
好的 他還沒睡呢
Ok. He's not sleeping.
那是阿比 將成為你最好的朋友
That's Abby. Gonna be your best friend.
拜拜 甜心
Bye, sweetie.
這是火爐 你老媽是在這裡勾引爸爸的
This is a fireplace. This is how Mommy seduced Daddy.
這樣你就誕生了
And that's how we got you.
這就是為什麼你在25歲的時候才看到這個視頻
And that's why you're watching this video at 25.
這是你的房間
This is your room.
這有你的小兒床 現在東西有點稀疏
There's your crib. It's a little sparse right now.
剛訂了些卡特彼勒模型玩具在路上
Just got some caterpillar action going on.
"漢特" 看到了嗎 挺酷吧
"Hunter." See? Pretty cool.
這是你老姐的亂房間
This is your sister's trashed room.
-不 我會跟他核對 -她在這
-No, I'll check with him. -Oh, there she is.
幹什麼 另一個媽媽生的小孩
Wassup, brother from another mother?
-什麼 -不 漢特來了
-What? -No, Hunter's in.
從此我不允許你來我房間 除非姐姐我邀請你
You're never allowed to come in here, ever. Unless I invite you.
那時候將是你人生當中最美好的一天
In which case, it's gonna be the best day of your life.
順便說下 那是我的洗浴室 不要進去
By the way, that's my bathroom. Don't ever go in there.
那是你半個洗浴室 實際上它是我的 因為是我買的
That's half your bathroom. It's actually my bathroom, 'cause I bought it.
全部東西都是我的 不要在我的座位上亂尿
All that is mine. Don't pee on my seat!
這是客廳 沒人會呆這兒
This is the living room that no one ever uses.
有人沒關門
Hey, somebody left the front door open!
好的 不要不關門 好嗎
Nice. Don't do that, ok?
這是我的第一間男人私人空間 我的天才想法來源於此
This is my first man cave. That's where all my genius ideas come.
這是我的第二間男人私人空間
This is the second man cave,
我們會一起在這看電光隊的比賽
where we're gonna watch Chargers games together.
這是我的50英寸的大傢伙
This is my 50-inch monster.
看看 美極了
Look at that. It's beautiful.
我不知道我抱的姿勢對不
I don't even know if I swaddled him right.
就像
It's just.
小乖乖
Hi, baby boy.
-他很香 -是的
-He smells good. -Yes.
你就像爸爸
You're just like Daddy.
你總是在便便
You make poops all the time.
-那樣好嗎 -當然
-Is that good? -Si.
好的
Ok.
他是個特殊的娃娃 可不是嗎
Is a special baby. Si?
-謝謝 -太可愛啦
-Thank you. -That is so cute.
我去開門
I'll get it!
我看看這寶貝
Let me see this baby.
-姨媽凱蒂 -他在哪呢
-Aunt Katie! -Where is he?
在樓上呢
He's upstairs.
你好珍貴哦
You are so precious.
我現在就很喜歡你了
I already love you so much.
-我妹生得好呀 -是的
-My sister did good. -Yeah.
你可能有點小功勞
You probably had a little part in it, I don't know.
非常小
Very little.
是她男朋友 是的 他是個大男孩 就像
It's her boyfriend. Yeah, he's a big boy, just like his.
吃點小甜餅
Kinda just eating cookies.
你好 寶貝
Hello, baby.
-爸 我的漢堡 -或隨便吧
-Dad, my burger? -Or whatever.
-對了 不好意思 -再給我一盤
-Right, sorry. -Gimme another plate.
-很好 -你看到了嗎
-Nice. -Did you get that?
-我想讓你見見我姨凱蒂 -等等
-I want you to meet my Aunt Katie. -Wait.
能保持那樣嗎
Does it stay on?
能保持那樣 但我不想把它弄溼
It does stay on, but I didn't want to get it wet.
不 當然不行 那樣就太荒唐了
Oh, no, of course not. That would be ridiculous.
-這樣就不行了 -這樣太
-That would ruin it. -That is so.
-我發誓 我會殺了你的 -看啊 太棒了
-Swear to God, I will kill you. -Look at that, perfect.
完美的傳球姿勢
Perfect handoff right there.
他是我唯一的侄女 並不是親的 但是我把她當做我侄女
She's my only niece. Not really, but I think of her as my niece.
她是我繼承來的侄女
She's my step-niece.
-我是那個萬惡的繼姨媽 -繼承來的
-I'm the evil step-aunt. -Step?
萬惡的繼姨媽 我不知道該怎麼理解 我不知道
The evil step-aunt? I'm not sure how to take that. I'm not sure.
我並不邪惡 但我的意思是我能很可惡
Well, I'm not really evil, but I can be evil is my point.
老爸 要丟臉啦
Dad, the face came off!
-這裡只能有一個勝者 -我不會讓你去遊泳的
-There can be only one! -I will not let you go.
我不敢相信他過一周歲了
I can't believe he's over a year old.
米卡去哪了
Where's Micah?
他
Oh, he,
他今天沒有起來參加聚會
he wasn't up for hanging out today.
我找不到錄像帶
I can't find the tape.
我找不到錄像帶
I can't find the tape.
好了 我就是把舊的用完
That's fine, I'm just gonna tape over an old one.
請你能把阿比弄出來嗎 她會踩著玻璃劃傷的
Can you get Abby out of here, please? She's gonna get cut on the glass!
我們剛到家 家裡就一片狼藉 全毀了
We just got back and the whole place has been just destroyed.
好像沒丟什麼東西 好像所有東西都
Nothing seems to be missing. It's just, everything's really.
但那就是她對我說的
But that's what she's telling me.
確保我們都記錄所有東西 什麼也別碰
Make sure we document everything. Don't touch anything.
這是我們的門廳 家具也被弄壞了
This is our foyer. The furniture's damaged.
女兒艾麗的房間
My daughter Ali's room.
一想到有人曾在這兒就覺得噁心
It just feels gross that somebody was in here.
主臥室
Master bedroom.
太棒了
Yeah, so that's great.
-你的手錶都在嗎 -在
-Your watches are still there? -Yeah.
鑽戒在這
Diamonds are here.
唯一丟失的是妹妹給我做的項鍊
The only thing missing is the necklace my sister made me.
甜心
Oh, sweetie.
這真可怕 真他媽的可怕
This is horrible. It's fucking horrible.
育嬰房
It's the nursery.
就我所指 這個房間沒動過
As far as I know, this room was not touched.
這是我們的地下室
This is our basement.
我沒看到有弄壞的東西 不知道是否有東西
I don't see anything really broken. I don't know if there's anything.
我認為他們在這做了什麼 那是什麼
I don't think they did anything down here. What is that?
那是阿比嗎 真臭
Is that Abby? It really stinks, though.
那麼 衣服還在這
Well, clothes are still here.
你的單車都在這 你都不用了的
Your bikes are still here. Not that you're using those.
你的車在那邊 那麼
And your bike is over here, so.
偉大的整理清潔工作繼續著
And the epic clean continues.
看起來我們辦了晚會
This looks like we had a party.
是不是
Right?
史上最糟的晚會
Worst party ever.
我不知道 小孩兒 亂七八糟的
I don't know, kiddo. This is messed up.
你們說在什麼 他們沒拿東西 我們好著呢
What are you talking about? They didn't take anything. We're fine.
很好