信物 | 楊佳嫻

YANG Chia-Hsien

 

楊佳嫻（中國臺灣），臺灣高雄人。臺灣大學中文所博士，臺灣清華大學中文系助理教授，臺北詩歌節協同策展人。著有詩集《屏息的文明》《你的聲音充滿時間》《少女維特》《金烏》，散文集《海風野火花》《雲和》《瑪德蓮》《小火山群》，以及文學選集、學術著作若干種。

信物

 

我給過你的

你不要再給我

歲月停下來又開走

重複的夏季裡變換過

硝煙與螢火

你沒有給我的那些

原來我當初已經

加倍給過你

 

你喜歡的老歌手

磨得更老，我們一直沒有

一起去過的港灣

被填得更小

重複的八號風球

變幻的地震

深埋過幾顆子彈

浮世裡難免

浮出胸膛

 

住過的房間

仍能清晰望見天亮

海堤漸次熄滅的

那一排燈嗎

你為我在信裡

重繪過，你把不變的

風景當作信物

你搬離了那房間

信物有信，而寫信那人

已然查無此人

 

你怕老的

但是你老了

我給過你的

你又轉贈給時間嗎

而時間給了你的

你卻也如此慷慨

提早給了我

 

 

Keepsake

 

Don’t give back to me

what I』ve given you

The years stop and start

summers alternate between

gun smoke and fireflies

What you haven’t given me

I』ve already

given you twofold

 

Your favorite old singer

has grown older, the harbor

we never visited together

smaller from landfill

Recurring typhoon no. 8 signals

unpredictable earthquakes

In the floating world

bullets buried deep

inevitably float from my chest

 

In the room where you once lived

by the early light of dawn can you still clearly see

that row of lights

snuffed out one by one along the seawall?

In a letter you repainted it

for me, taking the unchanging

landscape as a keepsake

You』ve moved out of that room

the keepsake has been kept, but the letter writer

is nowhere to be found

 

You dread growing old

but now you’re old

Have you given time

what I gave you?

And what time has given you

you』ve also generously

left me, ahead of schedule

鎮魂詩

 

不要靠近牆

它在抄寫我們的臉

不要走過樹下

它會糾纏我們的鞋履

不要相信雨季，那些透明

單調的小石在額頭上

擊出許多凹痕

 

水面下一切都平等

且平靜

也許我們交換手足，眼睛，

將頭髮編纏在一起如同連體嬰

或者你將生出背鱗

我將發現耳邊有腮

在漂忽，逐流的時刻裡

醒著也等於睡著

 

睡著了以後夢見醒來

死去以後仍瞻望雲的步伐

把房子蓋在最遠的岸

燈光瞬逝，椅腳折斷陷落

書倒立而園圃

開始種植自己

瓦盆尚未退霜，鐵鏟有痂，

蟲豸如時間貼面而飛

瑣碎，且搔癢

 

有時候也聽見諸神翻身微響

當我們終於試著遺忘，啊攤開

如一張虛無的紙

擦過如炭的宇宙

大星升高如軍樂手小喇叭上的輝光

當那久遠一觸，真久遠如

一則肯定的箴言

從寫出來到被遺忘——

那洋流總是徒勞

一張朽爛的羊皮地圖

魚骨的信物也將銷磨為末

 

而誰能夾躡出對方的靈魂？

當我們駕駛著單桅帆船

在不同的玻璃瓶內

你有你的手勢

我有我的火光

 

 

Requiem

 

Don’t go too close to the wall

it’s copying our faces

Don’t walk under the tree

it』ll tangle with our shoes

Don’t trust the rainy season, those transparent

monotonous pebbles pelting the forehead

with so many dents

 

Everything below the water is equal

and calm

Perhaps we』ll exchange limbs and eyes

hair braided together like conjoined twins

or you』ll grow scales on your back

I』ll find gills in my ears

In moments of drifting and flowing

waking is the same as sleeping

 

After falling asleep, I dream that I’m awake

After dying, I still gaze up at the gait of the clouds

building a house on the farthest shore

Lights flicker out, chair legs snap and fall

books stand upside-down, while the garden

starts planting itself

earthen pots not yet free of frost, the shovel scabbed over,

insects band together and fly

as trivial and itching as time

 

Sometimes I hear the faint sound of gods turning over

when we finally try to forget, oh it unfurls

like a virtual sheet of paper

grazing past the charcoal-like universe

that big star rising like the glow of a military musician’s trumpet

when that far-off touch, as age-old as

a definitive proverb

that’s gone from being written to forgotten—

that ocean current always laboring in vain

a decaying sheepskin map

the fishbone keepsake also ground to dust

 

Who can be tweezed out of the other party’s soul?

When we sail a single-masted boat

in different glass bottles

you have your hand signals

I have my fire

 

Translated by Jennifer Feeley

傳媒查詢

天水  13911046481  [e-mail]

鄧卓華  18620863868  [e-mail]

麥慰宗（中國香港） 852-9381 6304   [e-mail]

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