你是否曾有過一些詭異 令人煩惱的想法
Have you ever had one of those weird, distressing thoughts
然後你覺得 操
where you're just like, fuck!
怎麼會有這樣的想法
Where did that come from?
這種想法非常不合時宜 令人震驚
Like something totally inappropriate or shocking,
比如想像你老闆的裸體
like imagining your boss naked.
或是在街上揍一個老人
Or punching an old person in the street.
或是從列車站臺上跳下去
Or, er, jumping off a train platform.
大多數人可以輕易地趕走這些想法
Most people can easily dismiss them,
因為內心深處你知道
because you know deep down
你並不是真的想這樣做
that you don't really want to do those things.
可是如果你的大腦中
But what happens when the part of your brain
負責清理這些想法的功能區發生了異常呢
that allows you to dismiss those thoughts isn't working properly?
如果這些想法出現得太過頻繁
What happens if you get those thoughts so regularly
以致於讓你開始懷疑你的自我意識
that they start to become a real challenge to your sense of self
讓你已經不再知道自己是誰呢
that you just don't know who you are any more?
在路邊停車處
It's a bad day
被凍得渾身發抖 就說明這一天非常不順
if it ends with you freezing your tits off in a lay-by.
兩個小時前 我的人生完了 徹底完了
As of two hours ago, my life is fucked - literally.
糟糕到徹底無法挽回的那種地步
The kind of fucked you cannot come back from.
蘇格蘭邊區 唐維克
人口824人
我看起來似乎在微笑 但這都是錯覺
That might look like a smile, but it's total delusion.
我已經付過錢了 媽媽
Oh, I've already paid him, Mum.
給你 拿著
Take that, come on,
-打車錢 -不 媽媽 我不想要你的錢
- for the cab. - No, Mum, I don't want your money.
-不行 瑪妮 別傻了 快拿著 -別這樣 媽...
- No, Marnie, don't be silly, come on. - Please, Mum...
好吧 好像我給你跳了段大腿舞一樣
Oh, great, like I gave you a lap dance!
那邊是在搞什麼慶典嗎
Is there a function going on?
驚喜
Surprise!
-是你安排的嗎 -怎麼可能
- Did you do this?! - Come on!
是我們的貼心小棉襖
And our wee besom!
你怎麼拿到大家的號碼的
How did you get everyone's numbers?!
大家好
Hello.
抱歉 我想致個辭
Sorry, it's the speech now.
致辭
Speech!
真希望我爸媽的人緣沒這麼好
I wish my parents weren't so popular,
這樣就不會有這麼多人了
then there wouldn't be so many of you!
今天是我爸媽的特殊紀念日
Um, I thought I'd say a few words
所以我想上來說幾句話
for Mum and Dad's special anniversary.
他們沒有其他孩子 所以只能是我來說
And they didn't have any other kids, so it had to be me.
不過當獨生女也有好處
On the plus side, being the only child,
畢竟遺產都是我一個人的
I do get all the inheritance.
謝謝你去做結紮手術 爸爸
Thanks for having that vasectomy, Dad!
我想感謝我朋友海倫幫我安排這一切
Shout out to my pal Helen for helping me pull this off,
也謝謝奶奶承擔了一切費用
and to Gran for paying for it.
我還拿著她的信用卡 她忘了
Still got her credit card, she forgot.
我開玩笑的 我只是據為己有了
No, I'm only joking. I just kept it.
不好笑
No.
關於我爸我媽我有什麼想說的呢
What can I say about Mum and Dad?
他們非常般配
They just go together.
永遠成對出現 他們就像...
They come as a pair. They're like...
褲子 或者剪刀
Trousers or scissors
或者睪丸
or spectacles.
如果他們不在一起 那麼一切都不對了
The world wouldn't make sense if they weren't together.
你們激勵著我
You inspire me.
還有 在每個月的第三個周五
And, on the third Friday of the month,
你不會想要住在他們隔壁的臥室裡
let's just say you do not want to be in the bedroom next to theirs!
會變成超級電燈泡
Massive third wheel!
靠...
Shit...
抱歉
Sorry!
他們很不爽 因為我還住在家裡
It's a bit shit for them, cos I still live at home.
我就是那種大學畢業之後
I'm one of those people who moves home,
搬回家跟父母住的人
er, in with their parents after uni, um,
打一份暑期臨時工
and works their summer job
等著遇到更好的機會
till something better comes along,
但是一年多了還是一事無成
and 13 months later still hasn't done anything
白白拿了一份英語學士學位
with her English degree.
除了寫了這些...
Except for write this...
詞語的組合
collection of words.
停下
Stop...
我操 我去...
Fuck, er... Sh...
抱歉 我手心全是汗
Sorry. And my hands are sweating.
這裡是不是很熱 好熱啊
Is it hot in here? It's, it's hot.
特別"火辣"
It's hot!
停下
Stop it!
純 潔 強 迫 症 第一季 第一集
歡迎來到我迷之混亂的人生
Welcome to the fucked-up mystery that is my life.
如果剛才的故事讓你有點噁心 那抱歉了
Sorry if that made you a bit sick in your mouth.
我幻想過很多可怕的事情
I've thought about a lot of awful things,
但那場鬧劇絕對排名第一
but that shitshow was the mother of them all.
愛
母上大人:
你去哪兒了 發生什麼事了
我14歲的時候
When I was 14,
腦海中開始出現無休止的性愛畫面
I started having relentless graphic thoughts about sex.
不只是普通性愛 是變態性愛
Not just sex-sex, fucked-up-sex.
會讓你去坐牢的那種性愛
Sex-that-gets-you-arrested-sex.
現在3723天過去了...
And 3,723 days later -
一直都沒停過
it hasn't stopped.
就像《第六感》裡一樣 但我看到的不是死人
It's like The Sixth Sense, but I don't see dead people.
而是他們裸體的樣子
I see naked ones.
我已想像過所有人和事極盡荒淫的場景
I've turned everyone and everything you can imagine into filth,
除了我的家人
except my family.
直到今天
Until today.
多數人去倫敦是為了賺大錢 獲得成功
Most people move to London to seek their fortune.
我只要能尋找到答案 就滿足了
I'll settle for some fucking answers.
英格蘭 倫敦
人口數量 8787892
母上大人
視頻聊天請求
我這麼做是為他們好
I'm doing them a favour.
沒人想要一個變態女兒
Nobody wants a pervert for a daughter -
這不是什麼能寫到聖誕節賀卡上的內容
they can't stick THAT in their Christmas newsletter.
旅館
那不是個普通的乳頭
That's not just a random nipple.
那是佔據我781分鐘 去幻想該如何玩弄的乳頭
That's 781 minutes of thinking what I could do to it.
舔
Lick it,
吸
suck it,
彈
flick it...
擠
Milk it?
該死的
Fuck's sake.
好久不見
我來倫敦了
能去看看你嗎
老天爺 小瑪
For fuck's sake, Marn.
你媽說你去倫敦了
Your mum said you're in fucking London!
搞什麼
What the fuck?!
你不能拍拍屁股去了倫敦 還指望我沒反應
You can't just fuck off to London and expect me to do nothing.
我擔心壞了
I was SO worried.
我...
I...
我只是不停地...
I just keep...
-幻想一些東西 -什麼東西
- ..Thinking about all this stuff. - What stuff?
你總是這麼說 卻不告訴我究竟是什麼
You always say that, but you never say what.
海倫
-我不能... -輕點
- I can't... - Shh!
你想讓我去倫敦嗎
Do you want me to come down?
因為我可以去 我還有假期
Cos I will, I've got holidays to take.
不 我只想一個人待著
No, I don't want anyone with me.
好吧 那我該怎麼辦
Well, what am I supposed to do
我在老家而你卻在倫敦
if I'm up here and you're down there?
我不知道自己是怎麼了
I don't know what's wrong with me!
你就是有點焦慮 不是嗎
You're just a bit...anxious, aren't you?
就是這樣 焦慮
That's what it is, it's anxiety.
大家都焦慮
Everyone's got it.
老天 你可真時髦
God, you're so mainstream!
一定要找人談談 好嗎
Speak to someone. Please?
我真的很擔心你 小瑪
I'm really worried about you, Marn.
我也是
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