當你從小就有的夢想無法成真，該怎麼辦呢？
卜秋靜一面適應在美國的新生活，一面從書籍中尋找解藥、另闢事業路徑。她在這個可愛坦誠的演講裡分享她的獨特讀書方法和書籍的神奇力量。
So I was trained to become a gymnast for two years in Hunan, China in the 1970s. When I was in the first grade, the government wanted to transfer me to a school for athletes, all expenses paid. But my tiger mother said, "No." My parents wanted me to become an engineer like them. After surviving the Cultural Revolution, they firmly believed there's only one sure way to happiness: a safe and well-paid job. It is not important if I like the job or not.七十年代時我在中國湖南練過兩年體操。當我上小學一年級時，政府想讓我轉學去體校，一切免費。我那位虎媽說「不行」。我父母希望我長大象他們一樣當工程師。作為文革的倖存者，他們堅定認為獲得幸福的唯一可靠途徑是一個安定高薪的工作，至於我喜不喜歡那個工作並不重要。But my dream was to become a Chinese opera singer. That is me playing my imaginary piano. An opera singer must start training young to learn acrobatics, so I tried everything I could to go to opera school. I even wrote to the school principal and the host of a radio show. But no adults liked the idea. 但我的夢想是成為黃梅戲演員。那是我在彈假想的鋼琴。戲曲演員必須從小開始學身段功夫，我想盡了一切辦法想去黃梅戲學校，甚至寫信給戲校校長和一個電臺節目主持人。 但沒有一個大人喜歡那個主意。No adults believed I was serious. Only my friends supported me, but they were kids, just as powerless as I was. So at age 15, I knew I was too old to be trained. My dream would never come true. I was afraid that for the rest of my life some second-class happiness would be the best I could hope for.沒有一個大人相信我是認真的。只有我的小夥伴們支持我，但他們也是小孩，和我一樣無能為力。十五歲時，我知道自己要學戲已經年紀太大，我的夢想已不再可能實現。我擔心在餘下的一生裡，自己的命就是得到些二流幸福而已。But that's so unfair. So I was determined to find another calling. Nobody around to teach me? Fine. I turned to books.老天不公啊！暗下決心要為自己尋找另一個使命 。周圍無人賜教？沒什麼大不了， 我從書中學習。I satisfied my hunger for parental advice from this book by a family of writers and musicians. ["Correspondence in the Family of Fou Lei"]《傅雷家書》滿足了我對長輩教誨的期盼， 寫書的傅家是一個作家、音樂家薈萃的家庭。I found my role model of an independent woman when Confucian tradition requires obedience. ["Jane Eyre"]我從《簡愛》這本書中找到了獨立女性的榜樣， 儘管儒家傳統教人聽話順從。And I learned to be efficient from this book. ["Cheaper by the Dozen"]And I was inspired to study abroad after reading these. ["Complete Works of Sanmao" (aka Echo Chan)] ["Lessons From History" by Nan Huaijin]這幾本書燃起了我對出國深造的渴望。（《三毛全集》、南懷瑾的《歷史的經驗》）I came to the U.S. in 1995, so which books did I read here first? Books banned in China, of course. "The Good Earth" is about Chinese peasant life. That's just not convenient for propaganda. Got it. The Bible is interesting, but strange. 我1995年來美國，在美國我首先讀什麼書呢？當然是中國的禁書。《大地》講的是中國農民的故事，真實得不方便宣傳。懂了。《聖經》很有趣但也很奇怪。That's a topic for a different day. But the fifth commandment gave me an epiphany: "You shall honor your father and mother." "Honor," I said. "That's so different, and better, than obey." So it becomes my tool to climb out of this Confucian guilt trap and to restart my relationship with my parents.那個話題他日再聊。但十誡中的第五誡給了我靈感：「你應尊敬你的父母」。我心裡一動，「尊敬」不等於而且遠勝於「服從」！它成為我爬出儒家負罪感的工具，它成為我爬出儒家負罪感的工具，讓我重建與父母的關係。Encountering a new culture also started my habit of comparative reading. It offers many insights. For example, I found this map out of place at first because this is what Chinese students grew up with. It had never occurred to me, China doesn't have to be at the center of the world. 來到一個新文化環境也促成我比較閱讀的習慣，它讓人讀得更深刻。舉個例子，第一次看到這幅地圖時我覺得它有些怪，因為這才是中國大陸學生從小到大使用的世界地圖。我之前從未意識到原來中國不一定非要位於世界地圖中央。A map actually carries somebody's view. Comparative reading actually is nothing new. It's a standard practice in the academic world. There are even research fields such as comparative religion and comparative literature.原來地圖帶著某種視角。比較閱讀並不新鮮，它是學術界裡的標準做法，比較文學、比較宗教甚至成為專門研究領域。比較文學、比較宗教甚至成為專門研究領域。Compare and contrast gives scholars a more complete understanding of a topic. So I thought, well, if comparative reading works for research, why not do it in daily life too? So I started reading books in pairs. So they can be about people -- ["Benjamin Franklin" by Walter Isaacson]["John Adams" by David McCullough] -- who are involved in the same event, or friends with shared experiences. ["Personal History" by Katharine Graham]["The Snowball: Warren Buffett and the Business of Life," by Alice Schroeder] 對比對照讓學者們對一個課題有更全面的了解。我琢磨著，既然比較閱讀對研究有用，為什麼不把它用在日常生活中呢？因此我開始把書成對來讀。它們可以是關於同一事件的不同當事人，它們可以是關於同一事件的不同當事人，（《班傑明·富蘭克林》、《約翰·亞當斯》）或兩個有共同經歷的朋友。（凱薩琳·格雷厄姆的《個人歷史》、巴菲特傳記《雪球》）I also compare the same stories in different genres -- (Laughter) [Holy Bible: King James Version] ["Lamb" by Chrisopher Moore] -- or similar stories from different cultures, as Joseph Campbell did in his wonderful book. ["The Power of Myth" by Joseph Campbell] For example, both the Christ and the Buddha went through three temptations. For the Christ, the temptations are economic, political and spiritual. For the Buddha, they are all psychological: lust, fear and social duty -- interesting.我還把故事相同但文體不同的書做對比, （《聖經》、小說《羔羊》）或對比那些來自不同文化的相似故事，象約瑟夫·坎貝爾在其傑作《神話的力量》中所做的那樣。舉個例子，耶穌和佛祖都經歷了三大誘惑，耶穌經歷的是經濟、政治和精神誘惑， 佛祖經歷的則都是心理誘惑：欲望、恐懼和社會責任——有意思。So if you know a foreign language, it's also fun to read your favorite books in two languages. ["The Way of Chuang Tzu" Thomas Merton] ["Tao: The Watercourse Way" Alan Watts] Instead of lost in translation, I found there is much to gain. For example, it's through translation that I realized "happiness" in Chinese literally means "fast joy." Huh! "Bride" in Chinese literally means "new mother." Uh-oh.如果你懂外語，把你喜歡的書的兩個語言版本對比讀也很有意思。（託馬斯·默頓翻譯的《莊子》、阿倫·瓦特翻譯的《道德經》） 們常說翻譯總有缺失，我卻發現翻譯也可以帶來收穫。舉個例子，是翻譯使我意識到原來中文「快樂」一詞的字面意思可解為「快速歡樂」，呃... 中文「新娘」一詞的字面意思可解為「新媽媽」，天啊！Books have given me a magic portal to connect with people of the past and the present. I know I shall never feel lonely or powerless again. Having a dream shattered really is nothing compared to what many others have suffered. I have come to believe that coming true is not the only purpose of a dream. Its most important purpose is to get us in touch with where dreams come from, where passion comes from, where happiness comes from. Even a shattered dream can do that for you.書已成為我與古人今人溝通的一個神奇門戶， 讓我再不會覺得孤單無助。與其他人的苦難相比，夢想破滅算不了什麼。我漸漸意識到成真並非夢想的唯一目的， 它的最重要目的是讓我們觸摸到 夢想來源的地方、熱情來源的地方、快樂來源的地方，哪怕一個破滅的夢想也可以讓你經歷那種觸摸。So because of books, I'm here today, happy, living again with a purpose and a clarity, most of the time. So may books be always with you.因為書，我今天得以在此， 快樂地活著，生活的目標和意義重新變得明確， 在大部分時候。希望書也永遠與你相伴！
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