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第二季 第一集
哈 哈 大 校
Morning, Sarah! First day back.
早上好 莎拉 開學第一天
Can I offer you a lift?
想搭個順風車嗎
No, thanks, Keith, it's quite near.
不 謝了 凱斯 馬上就到學校了
Still, be quicker in the car. Hop in.
開車總比走路快 上車吧
Pop your seat belt on.
請系好安全帶
And here we are.
到了
Thank you for the lift.
多謝你的順風車
Sarah, I just wanted to say,
莎拉 我想讓你知道
it's a shame our dinner over the holidays didn't work out.
暑假裡我們沒能共進晚餐實在很遺憾
It's not nice for a woman to be stood up.
放女士的鴿子真是太無禮了
I didn't stand you up. Who could've known the town
我可沒放你鴿子 誰能想到城裡居然有
had two Bella Italias? I did give you the address.
兩家美大利餐廳呢 我都把地址給你了
Yes, but I saw a Bella Italia in the town square
沒錯 可我在城市廣場看到一家美大利餐廳時
and presumed you'd got the address wrong. I didn't get it wrong.
以為你把地址搞錯了 我沒有搞錯
Well, you could've got it wrong. But I didn't get it wrong.
你也有可能弄錯嘛 但我就沒有弄錯
You got it wrong. So, did you enjoy your meal?
是你自己弄錯了 那你晚餐吃得好嗎
Of course I didn't!
怎麼可能會好
I wasn't going to sit there on my own all night!
我才不會一個人孤零零坐上整夜呢
Yes, I just had the bread and dips while I was waiting.
我也一樣 我就在等你的時候吃了麵包和蘸醬
Then I had the spaghetti carbonara followed by the tiramisu.
然後我吃了奶油培根意面 還有提拉米蘇
After the cheese selection, I assumed you weren't coming,
吃完奶酪拼盤後 我猜你不會來了
so I just had a coffee and some of those little almond biscuits.
於是我只點了一杯咖啡和幾塊小杏仁餅乾
Sounds like you had a very nice evening
聽起來你當晚過得很愉快嘛
Yes, and it was very reasonably priced. We should go again.
真心不錯 而且價格公道 我們再去一次吧
Same restaurant or separate ones?
是去同一家 還是各自去一家呢
Same one this time. We'll see.
這次去同一家 再說吧
Well done, all! See you in September!
大伙兒辛苦了 9月開學再見
Notice anything different about me today, babes?
注意到我今天有什麼不一樣了嗎 寶貝兒
Are you wearing deodorant? No, it's my natural musk.
你噴了除臭劑嗎 不是 那是我自然的體香
Here, look.
快看
Tie, shirt. Oh - what's this?!
領帶 襯衣 還有這是什麼
Oh, yes, you're reading a book. Yeah, and why's that?
你在讀一本書 沒錯 這是為什麼呢
Cos I'm going up in the world, babes.
因為我往上爬了一級 寶貝兒
I'm not just the PE teacher any more.
我不再只是體育老師了
No, no, from today I'm also teaching Joegraffy.
從今天開始 我也要教"底理"了
Geography. Here, look.
是地理 快看
Who knew clouds were full of rain? Oosh!
誰能想到雲朵裡面都是雨呢 哇噻
Excuse me, Jo.
讓一下 喬
So...what happened to Gareth?
那個...加瑞斯怎麼了
Haven't you heard? Barber's gone mental.
你還沒聽說嗎 巴伯發瘋了
You can't say that any more.
你可不能再用那個詞了
Yes. He had a nervous episode. Which made him go mental.
沒錯 他神經崩潰了 所以他就是發瘋了
I think the pressure of teaching finally got to him.
我覺得當人民教師的壓力終於壓垮了他
And I shouldn't say this, but they found him
我不該亂傳這種話的 不過他被人發現
crawling round the playing fields at night,
深更半夜光著屁股
naked from the waist down.
在操場爬來爬去
Thank you, Janine, that is not a pleasant image.
謝謝你 珍妮 那畫面太美我不敢想
He had a soil thermometer wedged into his...
他把一根土壤溫度計插在他的...
That's enough. Some of us are trying to enjoy a biscuit.
夠了 有人還想好好享用一塊餅乾呢
Poor, poor Gareth.
可憐的加瑞斯
I know we'll all miss seeing his smiley face in here.
我們都會想念他那張笑臉的
Morning.
早
Let me speak to him.
讓我和他談談
I'm sorry?
你說什麼
Let me speak to him.
讓我和他談談
I'm sorry? Let me speak to him.
什麼 讓我和他談談
Oh, right, yeah.
好吧 好吧
Hello, Gareth. All right.
早啊 加瑞斯 早
How are you?
你好嗎
Fine.
挺好
How's your lunacy?
你的精神病治得如何
Shut up, Keith! You're being very insensitive!
閉嘴 凱斯 你也太不近人情了
You're such a rude woman. I said shut up!
你這女人真粗魯 我讓你閉嘴
Now, Gareth...
那個 加瑞斯
there's no easy way to put this,
這話不太好說出口
but you're not a teacher here any more.
可你已經不再是這裡的老師了
I know. If anyone's making a cup of tea,
我知道 如果有人要泡茶
I'll have one. Eight sugars.
我也要一杯 加8塊糖
Right, let me have a crack.
算了 讓我試一下
Oi! Fruit loop!
餵 瘋子
YOU, you don't work HERE, any more!
你已經 不在 這裡 上班了
Eesh!
你被炒了
I do. I'm the new caretaker.
我沒被炒 我是新任保潔員
Good for you!
太好了
That's wonderful news, Gareth.
真是個好消息 加瑞斯
Cheers.
謝謝
Polite note - they are teacher biscuits.
友情提示 那些是給教師的餅乾
Not for maintenance staff.
不是給校工們吃的
So, a very big Greybridge welcome to all the new pupils
灰橋中學熱烈歡迎今年新加入的
who have joined us this year.
各位新同學們
As your headmistress, I offer you one word of friendly advice -
作為你們的校長 我要友善地提醒大家
cross me and I will destroy you.
敢惹我 我分分鐘都能滅了你
Miss, um... Postern. Been here a year.
那個誰... 波絲頓老師 來這都一年了
You asked for it, you got it! School disco, miss?
你們許願 我來實現 校園舞會嗎 老師
Paintballing?
彩彈大戰嗎
No more French lessons?
再也不用上法語課了嗎
No. This Friday,
都不對 本周五
I have organised a careers day!
我組織了一個職業日活動
So I'll be pulling together a careers posse
我會組織一個職業介紹團
and we will be running workshops in the morning,
上午我們會舉辦講習會
and in the afternoon, the big finale -
下午則是盛大的壓軸戲
a special celebrity guest is going to be coming in
一位特別的名人將來我校
and talking to us about their career.
跟我們談談他們的事業
Is it Will Smith? No.
是威爾·史密斯嗎 不是
Is it JayZ? No.
是JayZ嗎 不是
Katy Perry? It's someone quite wellknown
凱蒂·派瑞嗎 我請的是個名人
but not as wellknown as that. Rihanna?
但還沒那麼出名 那是蕾哈娜嗎
Can I just say, lower your expectations.
我只能說 請降低你們的期望
So, I hope to see you all at three o'clock on Friday.
總之 我希望大家周五下午3點都出席
Is it Kim Kardashian? Please stop.
是不是金·卡戴珊 求你們別問了
Is it one of the Kardashians? No!
卡戴珊姐妹中的某個嗎 不是
Better not be Justin Bieber. It's not Justin Bieber.
可別是賈斯汀·比伯 不是丁日
My brother's mate reckons
我哥哥的朋友說
they saw Nicki Minaj in Nando's on Saturday.
他們周六在炸雞店看見妮琪·米娜了
Is it Nicki Minaj, Miss? It's not Nicki Minaj, no.
所以是妮琪·米娜嗎 老師 也不是麻辣雞
I'm going to just tell you who it is.
我還是告訴你們到底是誰算了
It is - drum roll please - Fenella Forbes.
那就是 鼓聲歡迎 菲妮拉· 福布斯
Who? She's an author.
那是誰啊 她是位作家
Whitney the Witch? Whitney the Witch Casts a Spell?
她寫過《女巫惠特妮》《女巫惠特妮的魔法》
Whitney the Witch and the Cat of Aznabar?
《女巫惠特妮和阿茲納巴的貓》
We were at college together,
我們是大學同學
and she's very kindly agreed to come and speak to you guys.
她非常樂意來我校為你們作演講
Now, I'm going to hand you over to your music teacher,
現在 我把話筒轉交給你的音樂老師
Mr Martin,
馬丁老師
who has some very exciting news about his own career.
他有一些關於他個人事業的好消息要宣布
Cheers.
多謝
So...
那個
over the holidays I've recorded my debut single. And, er...
暑假中我錄製了我的首張個人單曲 而且
Cheers, yeah.
謝謝
And, er, it's out today
這首歌今天將在
on a little website you might have heard of, called iTune.
你們也許聽說過的小網站上發布 就是iTune
It's going to be big.
這歌鐵定立馬爆紅
So, let's face it - probably going to be my last week here...
所以 老實說 這也許是我任教的最後一周了
Keep it together, Luke.
忍住 盧克
Anyway, the song is called,
總之 這首歌的歌名
quite simply... Soar.
非常簡單 叫做《飛得更高》
That's S-O-A-R, not S-O-R-E. Or S-A-W.
是"飛" 不是"痛" 也不是"鋸子"
Bit weird to write a song about a saw.
寫一首關於鋸子的歌也太古怪了吧
Or any kind of tool, really. OK, let's do this.
為任何工具寫歌都怪 好 我們開始吧