我始終認為一個人可以很天真簡單的活下去,必是身邊無數人用更大的代價守護而來的。小王子都找到了自己的那朵玫瑰花,那你,愛我嗎?
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被人無條件地愛著是什麼感覺?
是小小的我鬧彆扭時,外婆卻捨不得說我這個任性的小丫頭;是剛上小學的我面對那似乎永遠也做不完的作業,鬧著脾氣邊嗒嗒流淚邊動筆寫時,外婆默默地坐在一旁陪著那個倔強的小女孩直到深夜;是中學的我住校以後,外婆做了好吃的卻不讓別人動,是想等我周末回家時第一個吃到美食;是我出國工作臨行前,在ICU的外婆握著我的手溫柔而堅定地說「踏踏實實去吧,別惦記我。」
是兒子出生時,被醫生檢查出一身毛病,婆婆卻從不懷疑她的孫子長大後不是一個漂亮帥氣的小夥子。即便是被醫生告知孩子將來可能無法走路,婆婆也無畏地說「大不了咱養他一輩子」;是兒子得肺炎住院,病得奄奄一息,不吃不動,四天裡瘦了四斤時,婆婆勸慰我「有苗不愁長」;是兒子將自己登梯子採摘的櫻桃洗好送給爺爺奶奶吃時,婆婆得意地說「早就告訴你們了,咱的孩子錯不了。」
是兒子對著不善廚藝的我,從不給差評還總是盲目誇獎「媽媽,你做得怎麼那麼好吃啊」;是我不小心給他剪壞了指甲,他疼得哭了,還抱著我說「媽媽,我原諒你了」;是我以為他在玩水還亂動電器時,他告訴我說,「媽媽,你加班不是餓了嗎,我就是想給你煮一碗麵吃」。
被人無條件愛著、全身心接納是多麼幸福。然而在疲憊不堪甚至心力交瘁的時刻,我們難免忘記愛的語言。此時,不妨打開法國作家安託萬·德·聖·埃克蘇佩裡(Antoine de Saint-Exupéry)所寫的《小王子The Little Prince》,跟隨狐狸大師重新學習愛的秘密。
1.愛是那朵獨一無二的玫瑰花
"To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world..."
「對我來說,你還只是一個小男孩,就像其他千萬個小男孩一樣。我不需要你。你也同樣用不著我。對你來說,我也不過是一隻狐狸,和其他千萬隻狐狸一樣。但是,如果你馴服了我,我們就互相不可缺少了。對我來說,你就是世界上唯一的了;我對你來說,也是世界上唯一的了。」
於是,小王子意識到,即使世界上有成千上萬多玫瑰,但是他愛的那一朵是獨一無二的,因為馴養是建立關係。因我們而來的孩子,每一個都是獨一無二的。
2.愛帶來喜悅和傷害,讓世界從此與眾不同
「If you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow. And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? I do not eat bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad. But you have hair that is the colour of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat..."
「如果你要是馴服了我,我的生活就一定會是歡快的。我會辨認出一種與眾不同的腳步聲。其他的腳步聲會使我躲到地下去,而你的腳步聲就會象音樂一樣讓我從洞裡走出來。再說,你看!你看到那邊的麥田沒有?我不吃麵包,麥子對我來說,一點用也沒有。我對麥田無動於衷。而這,真使人掃興。但是,你有著金黃色的頭髮。那麼,一旦你馴服了我,這就會十分美妙。麥子,是金黃色的,它就會使我想起你。而且,我甚至會喜歡那風吹麥浪的聲音……」
即使因為小王子要離開,狐狸要哭時,小王子說「這是你的過錯,我本來並不想給你任何痛苦,可你卻要我馴服你…」。狐狸卻告訴他,「由於麥子顏色的緣故,我還是得到了好處。」世上唯一以離別為目的的愛是父母的愛,誰會因為怕孩子成長獨立而不敢放手讓他離開呢?
3.愛需要耐心和穩定地付出,並給對方以安全感
"If, for example, you come at four o'clock in the afternoon, then at three o'clock I shall begin to be happy. I shall feel happier and happier as the hour advances. At four o'clock, I shall already be worrying and jumping about. I shall show you how happy I am! But if you come at just any time, I shall never know at what hour my heart is to be ready to greet you... One must observe the proper rites
「比如說,你下午四點鐘來,那麼從三點鐘起,我就開始感到幸福。時間越臨近,我就越感到幸福。到了四點鐘的時候,我就會坐立不安;我就會發現幸福的代價。但是,如果你隨便什麼時候來,我就不知道在什麼時候該準備好我的心情…應當有一定的儀式。」
4.愛是責任,是不離不棄,用心面對
"And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye. 」
「It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important."
"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose..."
「喏,這就是我的秘密。很簡單:只有用心才能看得清。實質性的東西,用眼睛是看不見的。」
「正因為你為你的玫瑰花費了時間,這才使你的玫瑰變得如此重要。」
「人們已經忘記了這個道理,」狐狸說,「可是,你不應該忘記它。你現在要對你馴服過的一切負責到底。你要對你的玫瑰負責…」
Love like you've never been hurt.
去愛吧,就像不曾受過傷一樣
Dance like nobody's watching.
跳舞吧,像沒有人會欣賞一樣
Sing like nobody's listening.
唱歌吧,像沒有人會聆聽一樣
Work like you don't need the money.
工作吧,像是不需要金錢一樣
Live like it's heaven on earth.
生活吧,就像今天是末日一樣
― Alfred D』Souza
—艾佛列德·德索薩