一，你人很好可你手機不是安卓 我們在一起後你連個段位都不能幫我上，這戀愛怎麼談
You are very nice, but your mobile phone is not Android. After we are together, you can't even help me with a segment. How do you talk about this love
二，大家把手上的活都停停 來做道數學題 老太婆－太＝？
Everybody stop what they're doing and do the math, old lady.-wife =?
三，感謝王者榮耀給我平淡無奇的生活增添了幾分怒火
Thanks to Arena of Valor for adding a bit of anger to my mundane life
四，這麼熱的天沒有你的冷暴力我都不知道怎麼活
I don't know how to live without your cold violence on such a hot day
五，談戀愛很累的 要約會 要分享喜悅 要吵架 要規劃未來 我呢暫時應付不過來 那就先放放 不將就 不後悔 也別耽誤誰
It 』 s very tired to fall in love, to date, to share joy, to quarrel, to plan for the future, I can 』 t cope with it for the time being, then let it go first, don 』 t regret it, don 』 t delay anyone
六，我是可愛又浪漫的麻煩 成為你的甜蜜負擔.
I'm cute and romantic and trouble becomes your sweet burden.
七，我非常餓 請你用溫柔餵飽我.
I'm very hungry please feed me gently.
八，明明是個富二代我卻自己上班掙錢 明明可以開豪車我卻每天擠公交 這就是我和明明的區別
Obviously it is a rich second generation, but I go to work to earn money. Obviously I can drive a luxury car, but I squeeze the bus every day. This is the other area between me and Mingming
九，有個男孩差點為我自殺他說死也不跟我談戀愛
A boy almost killed himself for me. He said he wouldn't fall in love with me
十，雖然你很帥但我不知道刷到下一個帥哥時還能不能記住你
Handsome as you are, I don't know if I can remember you when I brush to the next handsome guy
十一，靠近我之前你要想清楚我除了美一無所有
Before you come near me, you have to think about it. I have nothing but beauty
十二，失眠真的太浪費時間了早知道會失眠我剛才這一小時就拿手機玩了
Insomnia is such a waste of time. I knew I'd lose sleep. I just played with my phone in the last hour
十三，無論我們最後生疏到什麼樣答應我一定不要改愛奇藝密碼好嗎
No matter how rusty we end up, promise me you won't change the Iqiyi password, okay
十四，古老的童謠說：「女孩子是由糖 香料以及一切美好做成的僅比天使差一點」
The old nursery rhyme says, "girls are made of sugar, spices and all that is good, only a little worse than angels."
十五，想當小蘑菇 什麼都不用不幹 只想撐傘發呆
I want to be a little mushroom. I don't have to do anything. I just want to hold an umbrella and be in a daze
十六，親愛的上帝啊，我去年許的願望是脫單，您似乎聽錯了，不是脫髮啊.
Dear God, the wish I made last year was to take off the bill. You seem to have misheard it, not hair loss.
十七，很多事要自己消化 於是越長越胖
A lot of things have to be digested by yourself, so the more you grow, the fatter you get
十八，現在超級想把房子賣了去旅遊 可房東死活不同意
Now I really want to sell the house to travel, but the landlord does not agree
十九，其實我覺得上海的垃圾分類挺好的它好就好在我不在上海.
In fact, I think the garbage classification in Shanghai is quite good, it is good that I am not in Shanghai.
二十，我從來不為任何一個女人哭 除了我媽 因為她打我
I never cry for any woman except my mom because she hit me
二十一，早早的起來 真的可以做很多事 比如再睡一覺.
You can really do a lot of things when you get up early, like sleep again.