When we're young, we're innocently brave, and we fearlessly dream about what our lives might be like. Maybe you wanted to be an astronaut or a rocket scientist. Maybe you dreamed of traveling to every continent. Since I was very young, I dreamed of working for the United Nations in some of the most difficult countries in the world. And thanks to a lot of courage that dream came true.
我們年輕時勇敢得很天真，會無懼地夢想可以過著怎樣的生活。也許你想要當航天員或火箭科學家。也許你夢想到各大洲旅行。我從小時候開始，就夢想為聯合國工作，到世界上一些最艱困的國家去。因為大量的勇氣，這個夢想成真了。
But here's the thing about courage: it doesn't just appear whenever we need it. It's the result of tough reflection and real work, involving the balance between fear and bravery. Without fear, we'll do foolish things. And without courage, we'll never step into the unknown. The balance of the two is where the magic lies, and it's a balance we all deal with every day.
但，關於勇氣，有一個重點：它並不是在我們需要它時就會出現。它是認真反思和付出努力的結果，和恐懼與勇敢之間的平衡有關。若沒有恐懼，我們會做出蠢事。若沒有勇氣，我們永遠不會踏入未知領域。兩者之間的平衡就是魔法的所在，那也是我們每天都必須要處理的平衡。
First, a word about my fancy wheels. I haven't always used a wheelchair. I grew up like many of you, running, jumping and dancing. I love to dance. However, in my mid-twenties, I began to experience a series of inexplicable falls. And a few years later, I was diagnosed with a recessive genetic condition called hereditary inclusion body myopathy, or HIBM.
首先，先談聊聊我這酷炫的輪子。我並不是一直都需要坐輪椅的。我的成長過程和多數人一樣，會跑、會跳、會跳舞。我愛跳舞。然而，大約二十五歲時，我開始會不斷地無故摔跤。幾年後，我被診斷出一種隱性的基因疾病，叫做遺傳性包涵體肌病，簡稱 HIBM。
It's a progressive muscle wasting disease that affects all of my muscles from head to toe. HIBM is very rare. In the United States there are less than 200 people diagnosed. To date, there is no proved treatment or cure, and within 10 to 15 years of its onset, HIBM typically leads to quadriplegia, which is why I now use a wheelchair.
它是一種漸進性肌肉萎縮疾病，會影響我從頭到腳所有的肌肉。HIBM 非常罕見。在美國，被診斷出這種疾病的人不到兩百人。至今，仍然沒有證明有效的治療方式，且，通常，在 HIBM 出現後的十到十五年內就會導致四肢癱瘓，這就是我現在需要輪椅的原因。
When I was first diagnosed, everything changed. It was frightening news because I had no experience with chronic illness or disabilities. And I had no idea how the disease might progress. But what was most disheartening was to listen to other people advise me to limit my ambitions and dreams, and to change my expectations of what to expect from life.
我剛被診斷出來時，一切都改變了。那是很駭人的消息，因為我沒有任何慢性疾病或殘障的經歷。我完全不知道這種疾病會怎麼發展。但，最讓人沮喪的，是聽到其他人建議我不要有那麼大的野心和夢想，並要我調整對於人生的期許。
"You should quit your international career." "No one will marry you this way." "You would be selfish to have children." The fact that someone who wasn't me was putting limitations on my dreams and ambitions was preposterous. And unacceptable. So I ignored them.
「你應該要辭掉你的國際職涯。」「你這樣是嫁不出去的。」「你如果生孩子就太自私了。」別人把限制加在我的夢想和野心上，這實在很荒謬。且我無法接受。所以我沒有理他們。
I did get married. And I decided for myself not to have children. And I continued my career with the United Nations after my diagnosis, going to work for two years in Angola, a country recovering from 27 years of brutal civil war. However, it would be another five years until I officially declared my diagnosis to my employer.
我確實結婚了。我自己決定不要生孩子。在我被診斷出來之後，我仍繼續在聯合國的職涯，有兩年在安哥拉工作，這個國家正在從二十七年的殘酷內戰中恢復。然而，又再過了五年之後，我才正式向我的僱主宣布我的診斷。
Because I was afraid that they would question my capacity to manage and I'd lose my job. I was working in countries where polio had been common, so when I overheard someone say that they thought I might have survived polio, I thought my secret was safe. No one asked why I was limping. So I didn't say anything.
因為我很害怕他們會質疑我繼續工作的能力，而我就會失去工作。在我工作所去的國家裡，小兒麻痺症很常見，所以，當我聽到有人說他們認為我可能是小兒麻痺症的倖存者，我以為我的秘密很安全。沒有人問我為什麼跛腳。所以我也什麼都沒說。
It took me over a decade to internalize the severity of HIBM, even as basic tasks and functions became increasingly difficult. Yet, I continued to pursue my dream of working all over the world, and was even appointed as a disability focal point for UNICEF in Haiti, where I served for two years after the devastating 2010 earthquake.
我花了十年的時間，才把 HIBM 的嚴重性給內化，即使在這過程中，基本的工作和功能都變得越來越困難。但，我堅持追逐在世界各地工作的夢想，我甚至被指派為海地聯合國兒童基金會的殘障大使，在 2010 年嚴重的地震之後，我在那裡服務了兩年。
And then my work brought me to the United States. And even as the disease progressed significantly and I needed leg braces and a walker to get around, I still longed for adventure. And this time, I started dreaming of a grand outdoor adventure. And what's more grand than the Grand Canyon?
接著，我的工作帶我來到美國。即使疾病的進展十分顯著，我需要用腿支架和助行器才能四處行走，我仍然渴望冒險。這次，我開始夢想要來一場宏大的戶外冒險。有什麼比大峽谷更宏大呢？
Did you know that for every five million people who visit the Rim only one percent go down to the canyon's base? I wanted to be a part of that one percent. The only thing is --
你們可知道嗎，每五百萬名造訪過大峽谷邊緣的人當中只有 1% 曾經下到峽谷的底部？我想要成為那 1% 的一員。只是——
The only thing is that the Grand Canyon isn't exactly accessible. I was going to need some assistance to get down the 5,000-foot descent of vertical loose terrain. Now, when I face obstacles, fear doesn't necessarily immediately set in because I assume that one way or another, I'll figure it out. And in this case, my thought was, well, if I can't walk down, I could learn to ride a horse. So that's what I did.
只是，大峽谷並不容易進入。我會需要一些協助，才能從垂直的不規則地形向下走五千英呎。當我面對阻礙時，恐懼不見得馬上會出現，因為我的假設是，不論如何，我總會想出辦法。在這個例子中，我的想法是，如果我不能走下去，我可以學騎馬。所以我就這麼做了。
And with that fateful decision began a four-year commitment, tossing back and forth between fear and courage to undertake a 12-day expedition. Four days on horseback to cross Grand Canyon rim to rim, and eight days rafting 150 miles of the Colorado River, all with a film crew in tow.
這個命運的決定讓我開始了四年的投入，在恐懼和勇氣之間來來回回，就為了進行十二天的遠徵。從大峽谷的一緣到另一緣，騎馬要花四天的時間，乘筏在科羅拉多河上划行一百五十英裡，要花八天的時間，一路有個拍攝小組跟著我。
Spoiler alert -- we made it. But not without showing me how my deepest fear can somehow manifest a mirror response of equal courage. On April 13, 2018, sitting eight feet above the ground, riding a mustang horse named Sheriff, my first impression of Grand Canyon was one of shock and terror. Who knew I had a fear of heights.
爆雷警告——我們成功了。但過程中我也了解到我最深的恐懼如何能以某種方式帶出同等強大的相應勇氣。2018 年四月十三日，坐在離地面八英呎的地方，騎著一匹叫做「警長」的野馬，我對大峽谷的第一印象是一種帶著震驚和恐怖的印象。誰會知道我竟然怕高。
But there was no giving up now. I mustered up every ounce of courage inside me to not let my fear get the best of me. Embarking on the South Rim, all I could do to keep myself composed was to breathe deeply, stare up into the clouds and focus on my team's voices. But then, in the first hour, disaster struck.
但這時已經不能放棄了。我把體內的每一分勇氣都擠出來，不要讓我的恐懼擊敗我。從南緣開始，要維持沉著，我唯一能做的就是深呼吸，把視線向上盯著雲，專注在團隊隊友的聲音。但，在第一個小時，災難發生了。
Unable to hold myself upright in the saddle, going down an oversized step, I flung forward and smacked my face on the back of the horse's head. There was panic, my head hurt fiercely, but the path was too narrow for us to dismount.
我無法在馬鞍上保持直立，從非常高的地方下去時，我向前撲倒，我的臉撞上馬頭的後側。我慌了，我的頭非常痛，但路徑太狹窄，我們無法下馬。
Only at the halfway point at 2,300 feet, at least another two hours down, could we stop and remove my helmet and see the egg-sized bump protruding from my forehead. For all of that planning and gear, how is it that we didn't even have an ice pack?
一直要到中途兩千三百英呎處，也就是至少再向下走兩小時，我們才能停下來，御下我的頭盔，看到我額頭上冒出一個和雞蛋一樣大的腫塊。我們有這麼多計劃，這麼多裝備，為什麼我們卻沒有帶冰塊？
Luckily for all of us, the swelling came outwards, and would drain into my face as two fantastic black eyes which is an amazing way to look in a documentary film.
我們都很幸運，腫脹是向外的，以兩個黑眼圈的方式呈現在我的臉上，放在紀錄片中，看起來還挺有特色的。
This was not an easy, peaceful journey, and yet, that was exactly the point. Even though I was afraid to get back into the saddle, I got back in. The descent alone to the canyon floor took a total of 10 hours and that was just day one of four riding.
這段旅程並不輕鬆、平靜，但，那正是重點所在。雖然我害怕再回到馬鞍上，我還是上去了。光是要下到峽谷的底部，總共就花了十小時，且那只是四天乘騎的第一天。
Next came the mighty rapids. The Colorado River in the Grand Canyon has some of the highest white water in the country. And just to be prepared in case we should capsize, we'd practice having me swim through a smaller rapid. And it's safe to say it wasn't glamorous.
下一關是強大的急流。大峽谷的科羅拉多河有著全國最急的湍流。為了萬一翻覆做好準備，我們做過練習，讓我遊過小型湍流。可以說，這場面不很迷人。
I took my breath in the wrong part of the wave, choked on river water and was unable to steer myself. Yes, it was scary, but it was also fantastic. Waterfalls, slick canyons and a couple billion years of bedrock that seemed to change color throughout the day. The Grand Canyon is true wilderness and worthy of all of its accolades.
我在波浪中換氣時選錯了時機，嗆到了河水，無法控制我自己的行進方向。是的，那很可怕，但也很棒。瀑布、光滑的峽谷，還有幾十億年的巖床，在一天當中似乎會改變顏色。大峽谷是真正的野外，對它的每一分盛讚都名符其實。
The expedition, all that planning and the trip itself, showed me a level of fear I had never experienced before. But more importantly, it showed me how boldly courageous I can be. My Grand Canyon journey was not easy. This was not a vision of an Amazonian woman effortlessly making her way through epic scenery. This was me crying, exhausted and beat up with two black eyes. It was scary, it was stressful, it was exhilarating.
這趟遠徵，所有的計劃和旅程本身，讓我見識到未曾經歷過的恐懼程度。但，更重要的是，它也讓我看到，我能夠多麼勇敢。我的大峽谷旅程並不輕鬆。當時的景象並不是亞馬遜族女戰士毫不費力地一路穿越史詩般的風景。而是我在哭泣、筋疲力盡，還帶著兩個黑眼圈。這段經歷很可怕，壓力很大，很讓人振奮。
Now that the trip is over, it's easy to be blasé about what we achieved. I know I want to raft the river again. This time, all 277 miles of it.
現在，在旅程結束後，很容易就能平靜地訴說我們的成就。我知道我想要再次乘筏渡河。這次，要完成全程 277 英裡。
But I also know that I would never do the horseback-riding part again.
但我也知道我永遠不會再做騎馬的那部分了。
It's just too dangerous. And that's my real point. I'm not just here to show you my film footage. I'm here to remind us all that life is really just a lesson in finding the balance between fear and courage. And understanding what is and what isn't a good idea.
那太危險了。那就是我的重點。我不只是來這裡給大家看我的影片。我來這裡是要提醒大家，人生其實只是關於在恐懼與勇氣間找到平衡的一課。還有了解什麼是或不是個好主意。
Life is already scary, so for our dreams to come true, we need to be brave. In facing my fears and finding the courage to push through them, I swear my life has been extraordinary. So live big and try to let your courage outweigh your fear. You never know where it might take you.
人生已經很嚇人了。所以，若要實現我們的夢想，我們必須要勇敢。在面對我的恐懼及找到勇氣將恐懼推開的過程中，我發誓，我的人生變得十分不凡。所以，大膽去活，試著讓你的勇氣超越你的恐懼。你永遠不會知道它會帶你到哪裡。
Thank you.謝謝。