「I am sad. I want to go out in the sun.」
That’s how my three-year-old expressed his feelings on month three of quarantine last spring. We had a small porch that faced the quiet parking lot where our company had housed us until our return to Beijing. Really just a rectangular concrete block, this patio usually turned into my conference call area and the one place where the boys could dig into dirt with no consequence, so long as the dirt stayed off the shared sidewalk.
But that day he needed more. We were lucky in that our apartment was across the street from a little lake and woodsy area. So even though I hadn’t showered and my husband had a virtual meeting, I threw on some flip flops, sunglasses, gave him a hat, and said, 「Let’s go kid. I need some sun too.」
This is not easy for me, to slow down and just enjoy being outdoors. It’s even harder now, back in the city of Beijing, when all of our moments are about going somewhere and doing something. Add to that how many families might feel if there’s an empty time slot in a day, it should be filled by enrichment activities or tutoring or lessons. It’s hard not to hear how well your neighbor’s kid speaks Mandarin and wonder if you, too, should hire a tutor for them 3 days a week.
But playing outdoors is important too, and so I sought out the advice of some of the best Forest School educators in Asia.
Kelly Goddard, based in Singapore and Founder of Forest Adventure Club, explains how the outdoors relieves stress. 」Children aren’t limited by small, contained, pressured environments. The outdoors offers space, more freedom, fresh air, sounds of nature, the ever-changing colors of the seasons, exposure to natural light and it has no expectations of us.」
I still find it difficult to remove myself from the hustle and bustle emanating from my mobile phone, even when outside. But Allison McGilligan, Founder at KindiZoo Nature Play and Creative Director at BalletZoo in Malaysia, reminds me that it is possible if we really try. 「When we all go into nature, we take a breath. Nature has this magical recipe for calming all of us, no matter whether you like it or you don’t like it, it’s just a scientific fact.」
We used to live in more temperate climates, and outdoor playtime was always important to our family. I distinctly recall when a barely crawling baby (the sun worshipper from the first story) saw a mud pile that his older brother had formed and carefully put one hand into it. Then he raised his other hand and fell into it as if in slow motion – face first. As I rolled him over onto his back, that huge smile couldn’t be denied. He loved it. For the next 30 minutes, his hands and feet just explored that mud.
Well, that’s what spare clothes are for. That’s also when I learned that my youngest will take his sweet time learning and exploring everything when outdoors, and I needed to adjust my mentality and schedule to accommodate him. As I said before, this is really really hard for me. I don’t like it. I like going from point A to point B and then experiencing the world at my destination. But his idea of a great walk is turning every crack in the sidewalk or brick design into a game that he must discover then conquer.
I just need to remind myself that this is how he learns, and in a much more detailed way than in his classroom, no matter how wonderful the school he attends.
Goddard in Singapore explains how outdoor play allows children to 「have the confidence to run with their innate curiosity, creativity and take risks through their hands-on experiences…that empower them.」 Parityada Punthapong (Kiki), co-founder and director of Outdoor School Bangkok, agrees that 「the outdoor environment offers space which allows children to experience play-based learning and hands-on engagement. It enhances children’s understanding of the world – [fostering] relations with all living and non-living things around them.
For some reason I’m sure therapists would have a field day discussing, I was way more protective of my younger child than my oldest. So imagine my parental delight when he wandered off from a playgroup one day, took off his shoes, and started climbing up and down uneven, sharp rocks that lined a stream. He was only 20 months old at the time.
His balance and focus were so intense, I was able to stand back and only support when asked. We hear a lot about risk-taking for kids, especially as we try to overcome the label of 「helicopter parents.」 But Punthapong sees a particular avoidance of risk in Asia, and Thailand specifically: 「Parents or caregivers can deny children the opportunity for learning and development in outdoor play, replacing it with the fear of what might go wrong..」
Risk goes beyond whether or not they can stop themselves from breaking their necks, however, and McGilligan breaks down how just the simple childhood act of climbing a tree will aid children in their development of activities we might see as more 「educational」.
「Climbing a tree develops the hand to eye coordination in a young child…. Those fine motor skills you need to manipulate a pencil, to draw something that is recognizable – starts in the head, starts with balance, starts with walking, then climbing, then rolling, then hanging upside down, then swimming. So all of those dangerous things that we used to do as kids on a playground, we』ve become too health and safety conscious mainly from a liability point of view.
But a child that falls over and bangs her knee, she is actually going to learn far faster how not to do that the next time if you allow her to do it the first time.」
After that day last May when my son had to ask to see the sun, we spent every morning from around 10am to lunchtime at the little lake across the street. Sometimes I had an educational idea in mind, but more often than not, I just took my nice camera, put away my phone, and let the kids do their thing.
Yes, it meant that my husband met me at the door, where we stripped them down and chased them into the bathtub, where they could enjoy more uninhibited play, and it also meant they came at us with questions. Parts of the world they could only discover by getting dirty in the lake and avoiding fire ants came out in their curious questions, which often led us to an afternoon researching and playing with the gifts that nature gave them.
They would run, they would experiment, they would give each other mud baths, they would play. They would learn.
And they would smile.