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戀愛新篇章
"What's new in love"
每個早晨他媽的都一樣
Same thing, every fucking morning.
-我聽見了 -你什麼也沒聽見
- I heard that. - No, you didn't.
-我聽見了 -我也是
- Yes, I did. - I did too.
-你沒有 拜託 -行了 出發
- You didn't. Come on, buddy. - Ok. Here we go.
嫻娣 搞毛啊
Hey, Sandy, what the hell.
-媽媽 -這能殺菌 對細菌不能手軟
- Mom! - It's just for germs, they're our enemy.
-考試好運 -謝謝
- Good luck in your test. - And I need luck.
-媽 媽媽 -抱歉
-Ma...ma. - I'm sorry.
過得開心點 好好學習天天向上
Have a great day. And remember, own your own power.
看你這小臉蛋兒
Your powerful little cheek here.
抱歉
Sorry.
別忘了帶我生日的錄像來
Don't forget to bring the DVD for my birthday.
我和老師說明天會帶來給他們看
I told the teacher's not bringing it for show until tomorrow.
-你的事我哪會不記得 -就照做嘛 媽媽
- Do I ever forget anything? - Just do it! Ok, mom?
走吧
Go!
籃球08
雅虎體育 你選擇用科比·布萊恩特
換勒布朗·詹姆斯
請稍等
恭喜 交易成功
嫻娣娘 你在當前板塊排名第一
歡迎來小凡客6歲生日慶祝會
Welcome to the Frank Magic JR. 6th birthday celebration.
-有很多知名人士光臨 -我們在這
- We have many famous guests. - Well, we're here.
太可愛了
So cute.
對了 太棒了
Yeah, that's it.
茉莉 茉莉
Oh, Molly, Molly.
符茉莉?!
Molly Foster?!
你真是個魔女 我的小魔女
You're a magician. A little magician.
既然嫻娣在另一樓...
you know sandy's at next floor.
繼續
Oh, do it.
茉莉 爽 茉莉
Molly. Yes, molly.
我的天啊
Oh, my god!
媽媽 我不明白為啥我們要搬到城裡
Mom, I don't understand why we have to move into the city?
城裡什麼都方便 親愛的 這會是個新起點
The city is the center of everything. Honey, it will be a fresh start.
爸爸說只有少數冒險的資本家住在城裡
Dad said that only minority ventured capitalists live in the city.
現在我們也是
And now we do, too.
我們會碰到很多異裝癖嗎
Are we gonna meet any transvestite?
什麼是異裝癖
What is transvestite?
是又有陰莖又有陰道的人 他們住城裡
It is a person who has a penis and a vagina and they live in the city.
不是這樣的
That's not what it is.
好了 夥計們 到了
Okay, guys, it's the place.
我尿尿好急
I really have to pee.
再忍會兒
Can you hold it a little longer?
歡迎來到紐約
Welcome to New york city.
我們來這的唯一原因是父母在鬧離婚
We're only here because our parents are getting a divorce.
不是來看那出名的脫口秀
Not decide to the famous Oprah.
-嫻嫻 -話說我看過一些資料
- Sadie. - You know, I've read about this.
這是父母離異的孩子的典型的表現 所以...
It's fairly typical behavior for children of divorced. So...
幫我拿下行李行麼?
How about taking the bags?
媽媽看這個 我們在畫自己的名字
Hey, mom, check this out! We're writing our names.
天啊
Oh god!
你不能四處飄泊過下半輩子
Well, you can't move around for the rest of your life.
媽 這才過了3周 多給我點時間
It's only been three weeks, mom. Give me some time.
那麼機靈的女孩
Oh, such a smart girl.
她大學都沒畢業 以前你還討厭她
She never graduated college, and you hated her.
但她的法語真溜
But the French, she spoke it so beautifully.
她是法國人
She was from there.
她曾是我們家一分子 很難不愛自己的家人
She was a finklestein, it is hard not to love a finklestein.
我和你表姐小劉說好了 她給你安排了一個面試
Anyway, I spoke to your cousin lou, and she arranged a job interview,
就在她以前工作的婦女中心 救你出火坑
with the women's center, where she used to work, get you out of your funk.
我在咖啡店有工作
I have a job, at the coffee shop.
亞倫 你一個本科生去當咖啡小弟
Oh, it's depressing and you're a college graduate, Aram,
你還有臉說
For crying out loud.
你還能用上你的專業知識 那個女性研究學
You'll finally put that ladies studies major of yours to good use.
那是輔修 爸爸 我學的叫社會學
It's a minor, dad. It's called sociology.
斯坦福本科畢業 曾任西北晚報的新聞記者
BA from Stanford and journalism from Northwestern.
這工作只是做信息核實 你知道吧
You do realize that it's just a fact-checking job?
我有2個孩子要養 而且...
I've been raising two kids, and the truth is
我在辦離婚
I'm getting divorced.
我相信我能勝任因為我做事有條理
And I'm sure I'll be good at this because I'm very organized.
我喜歡體育活動 除了曲棍球
I love sports, well not hockey, so much.
孩子出生的時候
You see, once the kids were born
我決定做個全職太太
I decided to stay home for a while which is ok.
因為照顧小孩很花時間
Coz you know, babies take up a lot of time.
也許你不了解
Maybe you don't know.
反正 終於他們都上學了
Anyway, eventually they went to school
我也開始有一點自己的時間
And I started having a little time in my hands.
就編集了這些統計分析
And compiled these stat books,
整理了這個圖表集
And made up this graphing system.
看一下
Take a look
怎麼做的
How?
只是花了點時間 用衛星電視設備
Just time, and a great satellite tv package.
夫餘亞倫 複姓夫餘?(@_@)
Aram Finklestein, that's a jewish name, right?
亞倫 可以談下你對女性的看法嗎
What are your feelings about women, Aram?
這個問題 我之前覺得女性是很棒的
Are you kidding? I think you're great up until...
直到最近 我本想和一個女人共度一生
recently I was planning on spending the rest of my life with a woman.
並不是說我想跟男人過 我只是
Not that I wanted to spend it with a man, I just ...
想和一個女人體驗婚姻
want one experience with a woman,
卻讓我失去對愛情的信心 也許是全盤的信心
Kinda took away my faith in love, and I guess, everything.
亞倫 你在大學做了些關於女性的研究
Aram, I know you took some women's studies courses in college.
但除此之外 你有別的相關經驗嗎
But other than that, do you have any kind of experience
給我個錄用你的理由
that you think might have prepared you for this job?
我幫我媽買過衛生棉
I used to buy tampons for my mother.
你會勝任愉快的 歡迎加入
You will fit in perfectly, yes.
我遇見了我的另一半
I have met my soul mate.
你遇到的是個需要綠卡的法國辣妹
You met a really hot French girl who needed a green card.
-她太 -辣
- She was so ... - Hot.
-不是這樣 -性感
- She wasn't that. - Sexy.
與這無關 她需要我
It was something else. she needed me.
當然 她需要綠卡
Yes, to get a green card.
我們的婚姻總不會只為了張綠卡
There's gotta be more meaning to it than all of this.
你知道住你父母家
You know living at your parents' place isn't exactly ...
是一件很不男人的事情
Grab a life by the balls you know.
我會努力存錢
I'm saving up.
很不想潑你冷水 但你只是咖啡小弟
I hate to tell you this but ... you work in a coffee shop.
你的法國嬌妻還跟她哥跑了
And your hot french wife left you for her brother.
別說了
Stop it.
有什麼可以幫你嗎
Can I get you something?
是 這個廣告說你有公寓出租嗎
Yeah, this ad says... you have an apartment for rent?
對 我們有一個
Yeah, ours have a ...
我很樂意帶你看
Which I would be happy to show you.
-當然 -好
- Sure. - Cool.
性感
Melf.
我是無缺 這個是亞倫
I'm Mitchell, and this right here is Aram.
一個找尋生命意義的娃
He's trying to figure out the meaning of life.
如果你有要找保姆 找他就對了
He also is a wonderful babysitter if you ever need one.
去看房子吧
Just a break of the apartment.
-小傢伙們 -媽媽 我不想住這
- Hey, little guys. - Mama, I do not want to live here.
-我要單獨房間 -我們還要看幾間公寓?
- I want my room. - How many more apartment are we going to look at?
-我找到公寓了 -速度真快
- I got an apartment. - You're fast.
房子一般 但沒我老公的地方就是好地方
It's not great, but my husband won't be there so that's a plus.
你心理素質怎麼這麼好
How are you so well adjusted?
這些年我在母姊會可不是白混的
All those years with the PTA, I don't have a choose.
工作找得怎麼樣
How's the job search?
找到一個 幫SNN做信息核實
I got one, fact check for SNN.
你太牛了 差不多恢復元氣了
You are unbelievable, you're almost fully healed.
人人都說離婚是噩夢
You know everyone says what a nightmare it is to get divorced,
我覺得還好
I feel fine.
就沒點留戀嗎
No residual or anything?
這對我來說是天大的好事
This is the best thing that ever happened to me.
不然 困在地獄一樣的郊區
Trapped in some suburban hell, same thing
像滾輪上的倉鼠日復一日的過活
Day after day like a "hamster in a wheel".