01前言
如果將愛情作比喻,我會將其比喻為流淌在夏日裡的涓涓細流。為什麼是夏日?那是因為愛情開始時像火,其濃烈的表現方式像極了夏天的熱度。為什麼又是涓涓細流?那是因為愛情的最後會由火轉為水,娓娓道來,又不失趣味。
02真正的愛情
TED的一篇關於愛情的演講中有這樣一段話想要分享給大家:
I also finally realized, you know, well, those people say to you, they say, you need to be alone, or be by yourself, before you can meet someone else.
(我也終於認識到,就是有些人跟你說,結束一段感情之後,在遇到另一個人之前,你需要自己獨處一段時間。)
I used to think those people were boring; now I think they're right, they're definitely, probably right.
(我之前覺得那些人很無聊;但現在我覺得他們說得對,他們肯定也許是對的吧。)
Because I think, sometimes, actually, when we actually confront our aloneness, and we start to deal with our needs and the past, and all that horrible pain, that, you know, as people, we just collect and carry with us throughout our lives. When we deal with that, and we're not running from it in endless people or endless dates, when we don't have anything to prove anymore, when you don't need a destructive, ridiculous on-off relationship, in order to feel alive, in order to feel like you exist, when you can just be, I kind of actually think that's real love.
(因為我覺得有時候,當我們真正面對自己的孤獨感的時候,當我們開始直面我們的需求和過往的時候,所有的痛苦,那些我們一生所累積和背負的痛苦。當我們面對它們的時候,當我們不再用無數的戀人和無盡的約會逃避痛苦的時候,當我們不再急於證明什麼的時候,當你不再需要破壞性的、斷斷續續的荒唐戀愛,來讓你感受自己還活著、感受自己真實存在的時候,當你能夠順其自然的時候,我會覺得那才是真正的愛情。)
03趁年輕,勇敢去愛
王小波在寫給李銀河的情書中有這麼一段:「我和你就像兩個小孩子,圍著一個神秘的果醬罐,一點一點地嘗它,看看裡面有多少甜。」真正的愛情應當是自由且浪漫的,雙方都能在這個過程中自由地做自己並心甘情願地付出。
羅素在《幸福之路》中也對愛情有過論述,他指出:「太強的自我就是一所監獄,如果一個人想盡享世界的快樂就必須逃離這所監獄。能夠得到真愛是一個人已經逃離了自我這所監獄的標誌之一。只接受愛是不夠的,還應該能釋放出給予的愛來,只有當這兩種愛平等地存在時,愛才能最大限度地發揮其作用。」人類與動物的區別除了體現在擁有勞動和思維的能力之外,還體現在擁有愛的能力。
趁年輕,勇敢去愛吧!